Leading from a Heart at Peace Playing Full Out with Rita Hyland

Leading From a Heart at Peace

Podcast episode title graphic: Leading From a Heart at Peace Playing Full Out with Rita Hyland

Listen to the full podcast episode to learn what your exceptional solutions to daily problems are missing and what you must do BEFORE your best ideas are ever heard by people at work, at home, and in all areas of your life.

This may be a tough question, but have you ever found yourself wondering why are people not listening to your super strategy? Maybe you’ve offered several stellar solutions at work and are even delivering high performance, but you’re still not being advanced?  Or maybe you’ve told your kids exactly what they need to do to clean up after themselves at home, but nothing’s changing. If you know you can solve a big issue with a great solution, but you’re finding resistance from others, you’re in the right place.

Here’s the thing: it’s likely not that your solutions aren’t great. The problem is actually a common one I see with many top talented individuals when it comes to solving problems at home, at work, and in other areas of their lives.

THE PROBLEM

Too often the problem begins in our approach to solving a problem. We tend to approach problems with a mindset that believes that not only does the problem need to be fixed, but so does the other person. When we approach others as something that needs to be corrected, we’re leading from what is called a “Heart at War.” 

We feel we know better, that we are better, and that we deserve better. We then approach the other person from a place that’s filled with judgment, self-righteousness, and close-mindedness. A Heart at War sees others as “the problem.” Others are the roadblock on the path to the clear solution and are something that needs to be fixed – just like the problem.

This mindset approach immediately blocks our solutions from working. At best, the solution is diminished. At worst, the problem is dismissed.  As a result, we continue the circle of blame, justification, and disdain. 

THE SOLUTION

Instead of a Heart at War, we need to lead from a Heart at Peace. Let me explain what this means.

When leading from a Heart at War, we’re in judgment and we lead with “I’m better” thoughts. 

When leading from a Heart at Peace, we see the other person simply as a person, not as something broken that needs to be fixed. We see them as a person who’s just like us with real concerns, needs, ideas, and solutions. We’re interested in them, we’re curious, and we’re open-minded. 

WHY THIS IS SO IMPORTANT

If we’re leading with a Heart at War, it doesn’t matter how great our solutions to problems are – the solutions will fail every time.

Whether it’s at home or work, peace is only capable when an intelligent solution is connected to a peaceful inner strategy. This concept comes from two of my favorite books by The Arbinger Institute that I highly recommend: 

As a leader, it’s no longer enough to find the right solution and simply “get it done.” It doesn’t matter how good your strategy is, how productive you are, or how top tier talent you are. You can be the most intelligent leader in the world with access to the best consultants, therapists, and solutions money can bring. But, if your approach is always beginning from a Heart at War, your solutions will go nowhere. 

HOW TO LEAD WITH A HEART AT PEACE

The key to getting your solutions across, to being heard at work, to getting your college daughter to clean up after herself (speaking from personal experience here) is to pair your five-star solutions and strategies with inner peace. It’s important that you have peace within yourself before moving to find peace outside with others. Here are some ways to get there.

Always Be Aware

When you find yourself blaming others, justifying, or feeling the need to correct or fix another, these are all signs of a Heart at War. Unless we’re aware of a problem, we can’t fix a problem. What’s also important is becoming aware of the fact that there’s something underlying the problem.

See the Other Person as a Person – Not something that’s broken

Are you seeing the other person as an object or as a person just like yourself who’s wanting to find a proper solution? In every moment, in every interaction, determine how you are seeing the other person. It’s often when we feel justified that another person is the threat to our solution that we judge them, see them as less than ourselves, and believe they need to be corrected. 

To dive deeper into the concept of this second step, I highly recommend reading Leadership and Deception by The Arbinger Society. 

Move Your Vantage Point

Begin to consider the challenges this person (or persons) is having in this situation. What pain are they experiencing in their own world? Be curious about their worries and their concerns. Although we start to pit ourselves against each other, we’re often all on the same team. 

Ask Yourself This Question

Honestly say, “When have I done what I’m judging the other person for?” This is what I instantly go to. This question is an immediate way to shift a Heart at War. You’ll find it quickly humbles the ego and brings in compassion for the other person.

Lastly, Take Action

It’s not easy to really be conscious of and to call ourselves out on our own stuff. It takes a self-aware person with their own inner peace and their genuine interest in lifting other people up to really solve problems. 

 

THIS WEEK’S CHALLENGE

Notice a place where you’re leading with a Heart at War. Where are you judging someone or a group of people? Over this next week, practice approaching that problem with a Heart at Peace instead. Approach the problem with interest, genuinely caring for the other person or persons, and assume their positive intent.

Again I say, it does not matter just that you get it done. If you’re a leader, it matters how you got there. When you show up at your best, you put down your need to be right. You release blaming, indignation, and your need for vindication to replace a Heart at War with a Heart at Peace.

 

Tune into this episode of Playing Full Out to learn how to implement this unique differentiator in problem solving and the anatomy of peace.

 

In this episode I share:

    • The #1 reason why people at work, at home, and in life aren’t listening to your exceptional solutions and the unique solution to getting your ideas heard
    • The story of a Black man and a KKK member who exemplified this exact strategy and shifted from an interaction of potential hatred and war to a peaceful, collaborative friendship
    • Why we so often remain mired in our problems even when we have exceptional solutions
    • A personal story of leading with a Heart at War in my own home and how I used this exact technique to shift the outcome of this recurring problem

Resources and related episodes:

 

Subscribe on Apple Podcasts for more tips, tools, and inspiration to leading the optimal vision of your life, love, and leadership. Remember, a half version of you is not enough. The world needs the fullest version of you at play.

Listen on Apple Podcasts

___

About Rita Hyland

With over 20 years of experience as an executive and leadership coach, Rita helps leaders — emerging and established — excel in corporate and entrepreneurial environments.

Rita believes if leaders were more clear about how transformation really works and more intentional about creating what they want, their impact, success, and influence in the world would be unstoppable.

Through her coaching programs, private coaching, and masterminds, Rita shows leaders how to win consistently and create the impact and legacy they desire.

Central to Rita’s work is the understanding that you will never outperform your current programming, no matter how strong your willpower.

When you learn to use Rita’s proprietary Neuroleadership Growth Code, a technology which uses the best of neuroscience and transformational psychology to hit the brain’s buttons for change, YOU become both the solution and the strategy.

Her mission is to end talented, hard-working, and self-aware leaders spending another day stuck in self-doubt or confusion and not contributing their brilliant work and talent the world so desperately needs.

how to boost your patience enrgy progress and do the best work of your career playing full out rita hyland

How To Boost Your Patience, Energy, and Progress So You Do the Best Work Of Your Career

blog graphic displaying podcast title: how to boost your patience energy and progress so you do the best work of your career playing full out with rita hyland

Listen to the full podcast episode to learn how to boost your patience, joy, and purpose-driven work so that you bring your masterpiece to life. By using this strategy, you will truly help a whole lot more people as you do the best work of your career.

Recently I was speaking to a client named Tom. Tom is a goal-oriented, productivity-minded, high-achiever who continuously strives to improve his productivity and efficiency. Yet when it came time for Tom to be promoted, he was passed over.  

When I first met Tom he was frustrated, to say the least. Tom had been successfully leading a team and couldn’t understand what exactly was holding him back. So, he wanted to work with me to figure it out and be able to accomplish and impact even more.

As I listened, I could tell he was a top-talent employee, but something was missing and it wasn’t a lack of stress and frustration. He wasn’t reaching his goal as partner fast enough and was frustrated that people who were, frankly, not as intelligent as he had passed him by.  

I asked Tom some questions to explore what his relationships and interactions with others looked like.  I noticed they seemed more like transactions than interactions.  It was clear that Tom’s attention was focused on accomplishing and achieving  – the faster the better — and then getting the next thing accomplished.  

We all do this at some point.

It’s easy to get caught up in the busyness of our daily work and life. People are expecting things from us, we have responsibilities, we feel like we are in a race against the clock, and the days and weeks just become a blur. Our life’s focus becomes all about getting it done and how efficient we can be in the process. This is particularly the case for left-brain dominant high-performers (like Tom) who pride themselves on productivity and accomplishment. 

What Tom had forgotten was the mission behind what he was doing. He insisted that all he wanted to do was be able to help more people, but his actions reflected something different. 

He began to notice how his loss of patience and his approach to work was negatively impacting his reaching the next level. He had been over-valuing what he accomplished and under-valuing who he was “being” as he did it. 

I presented the opportunity for a much simpler solution. I asked Tom to consider setting a very deliberate new intention for his day-to-day interactions that would take him in a new direction.  

Here is the approach I asked Tom to consider: be on a mission to bring joy and serve one person at a time, one interaction at a time, one day at a time.  

Too often our intentions in this goal-driven society are to “get it done.” Our days become purely transactional until we notice we are exhausted, frustrated, and unfulfilled.  Perhaps the worst part is that the experience is anything but joyful, and the stressed-out state limits the creativity you need to build your masterpiece!

So, again here is the approach that will elevate your patience, your energy, and your productivity: be on a mission to bring joy and serve every single day. 

When you understand your mission and deliberately set an intention to bring joy and serve each person in each moment, you will build your masterpiece and impact a whole lot of people!  You won’t have to race to accomplish it either! As you know, masterpieces take time. When we begin one person at a time, one interaction at a time, that impact will ripple out and you will succeed at your work and life’s greatest mission.

 

THIS WEEK’S CHALLENGE

Set your intention for the next two weeks to truly help others moment to moment in each interaction you are in. Whether that’s checking out at the grocery store, sitting down to write your next email, or interacting with an upset customer or colleague, bring joy and serve. That is the purpose of life and the reason you are here.

 

Tune into this episode of Playing Full Out to reassess the mission you’re truly operating from and set the intention that will change everything and get you closer to your masterpiece with ease and joy. 

 

In this episode I share:

    •  A simple game-changing approach that will boost your patience and energy especially when things don’t seem to be moving fast enough 
    • An easy way to know if your interactions with others are more like transactions and how to change that
    • What many high-performers forget about their work and a brain-based tool to use so that you don’t
    • The #1 thing  those who create great things and impact a whole lot of people always have in the front of their mind 
    • The story of a top-talent client, Tom, who even though he was ‘getting it all done’ and ‘doing it all right,’ still wasn’t making the progress he wanted and how he changed that.  

Resources and related episodes:

 

Subscribe on Apple Podcasts for more tips, tools, and inspiration to leading the optimal vision of your life, love, and leadership. Remember, a half version of you is not enough. The world needs the fullest version of you at play.

Listen on Apple Podcasts

___

About Rita Hyland

With over 20 years of experience as an executive and leadership coach, Rita helps leaders — emerging and established — excel in corporate and entrepreneurial environments.

Rita believes if leaders were more clear about how transformation really works and more intentional about creating what they want, their impact, success, and influence in the world would be unstoppable.

Through her coaching programs, private coaching, and masterminds, Rita shows leaders how to win consistently and create the impact and legacy they desire.

Central to Rita’s work is the understanding that you will never outperform your current programming, no matter how strong your willpower.

When you learn to use Rita’s proprietary Neuroleadership Growth Code, a technology which uses the best of neuroscience and transformational psychology to hit the brain’s buttons for change, YOU become both the solution and the strategy.

Her mission is to end talented, hard-working, and self-aware leaders spending another day stuck in self-doubt or confusion and not contributing their brilliant work and talent the world so desperately needs.

Unleashing the power of fun Summer Bucket List Playing Full Out Rita Hyland

Unleashing the Power Of Fun (plus my 4-Part Sensational Summer Blueprint)

power of fun

Listen to the full podcast episode to rediscover what it means to have fun and how ESSENTIAL it is to unleash the power of fun in your life.

The other weekend, my husband and son left for a three-and-a-half-day trip to Boston for a hockey tournament. With that, I was looking forward to doing a few things just for myself – just for fun.

But, instead of diving into my list of fun things to do like immersing myself in a juicy novel, going to the movies alone, sitting in my backyard until the stars came out, or going for ice cream with the Jeep top down, I found myself submerged in more “productive” activity. You know, activities that have a “purpose.” I booked reservations for a future trip, finished several emails, and I even gave the grout in the bathroom a good scrub. 

There it was.  I was seeing in myself what I often hear from so many of my clients.

That is, as much as we crave breaking from our routine for an activity that is for our pure enjoyment, we have a hard time giving ourselves permission to embrace it. 

If you’re someone who finds yourself thinking,  “I’ll enjoy fun once everything that produces tangible results and pleases others is complete,” you’re not alone.

In our uber-goal-focused society, we are conditioned to feel guilty, indulgent, or like we’re underperforming if we are not productive in every moment.  We see fun as a luxury to experience in our optimal future even when it’s right in front of us.

The truth is that  research confirms something quite different:

Far from being frivolous, self-indulgent, irresponsible, or even selfish, having fun is actually ESSENTIAL to a life well played.  

Let’s dive into a little science behind it.

Studies show that when we allow ourselves to unleash the power of fun (to play, so to say), it increases our brain’s production of a protein called BDNF – brain-derived neurotrophic factor – which stimulates nerve growth in areas of our brains associated with decision making. 

Studies also show that adults who continue to play are less prone to dementia and heart disease. Adding play as a regular part of your life obviously fuels our happiness and satisfaction, but more significant than that is the effect playfulness has on increasing the quality and quantity of our relationships and longevity. 

The longest study on happiness, the Grant Study that began in 1938 with 164 sophomores at Harvard University found when these men turned 50, the biggest factor between men who had aged well and those who didn’t was the quality of their relationships.  And playfulness is a solid contributor to improving the quality of the connection in our relationships. 

*If you’re interested in learning more about that study, check out the TEDx talk “What Makes a Good Life” with Robert Waldinger which talks more about the lessons learned from the longest study on happiness.

What we’re seeing is that all work and no play doesn’t just make you boring, it wrecks your physical, mental, emotional, and relationship health too.

All around us are opportunities to have fun. For us to embrace them, however, first we must destroy the idea that we must always be working or that activity must serve some purpose to be worthy. We also must be as deliberate about our fun as we are about our work.

Years ago, I created a simple and fun ritual that allowed me to easily add more playfulness to my days during the summer months. Today, I want to share it with you and challenge you to up-level your fun factor for just the next 90 days. Consider it a Fun Factor Challenge. 

This go-to routine is called my Sensational Summer Blueprint.

I do it at the start of every summer, committing to just 90 days of allowing myself to break with my routines, guaranteeing that I embrace my fun side. Let’s get into it.

Part 1: Create your fun Summer Bucket List.

Simply begin by answering the question:  What would make this summer astonishingly fun?  Write your list.  Be sure to review it at least once a week.  

Part 2: Identify your 3 qualities.

These are the 3 qualities that when you lead from them will ensure you show up to receive and create the experiences on your Bucket List.  This year, mine are: “playful,” “fully engaged,” and “spontaneous.” 

Part 3: Write a letter to yourself 90 days into the future. 

Imagine it’s Labor Day and you’ve had a wildly fun summer. In this letter, include all the small moments you wish for yourself to have alone or with others, along with any big, absurd experiences you desire.  Place the letter in a self-addressed envelope, seal it, and set a reminder to open the letter on Labor Day weekend.  You won’t be the same person you were when you wrote it.  It’s fun to witness yourself.

Part 4: Begin the 1-minute Summer Journal. 

I call it “1-minute” because that’s all it takes. Each day during this challenge, keep a small journal where you jot down 1 thing that day that was fun. You can also do this on a single piece of paper that you keep in your wallet. Be sure to capture something daily. Then 90 days from now which is Labor Day if you are listening to it in real-time, reminisce about the fun. You will double your pleasure when you do…  

And there you have it. I hope you consider giving yourself permission to let the summer unfold and be fueled by what brings you joy and playfulness. True warriors know how to take a break, pause, restore, and have fun.

*If you want to take part in this 90-day Fun Factor Challenge, let me know by emailing me or messaging me on LinkedIn. I want to know that you’re taking part in the challenge and some of the fun things you’re most looking forward to this summer to unleash the power of fun again. 

Tune into this episode of Playing Full Out to learn why fun is an essential part of a well-rounded life and for some ideas to add more fun to your daily life. 

In this episode I share:

  • My 4-part Sensational Summer Blueprint to easily bring more fun into your life again this summer
  • A personal story that reminded me it’s time to get my play on
  • Some examples of things you can add to your summer bucket list
  • The benefits of adding more fun back into your life
  • Simple ways to start having fun again that don’t cost a dime

 

Resources and related episodes:

 

Subscribe on Apple Podcasts for more tips, tools, and inspiration to leading the optimal vision of your life, love, and leadership. Remember, a half version of you is not enough. The world needs the fullest version of you at play.

Listen on Apple Podcasts

___

About Rita Hyland

With over 20 years of experience as an executive and leadership coach, Rita helps leaders — emerging and established — excel in corporate and entrepreneurial environments.

Rita believes if leaders were more clear about how transformation really works and more intentional about creating what they want, their impact, success, and influence in the world would be unstoppable.

Through her coaching programs, private coaching, and masterminds, Rita shows leaders how to win consistently and create the impact and legacy they desire.

Central to Rita’s work is the understanding that you will never outperform your current programming, no matter how strong your willpower.

When you learn to use Rita’s proprietary Neuroleadership Growth Code, a technology which uses the best of neuroscience and transformational psychology to hit the brain’s buttons for change, YOU become both the solution and the strategy.

Her mission is to end talented, hard-working, and self-aware leaders spending another day stuck in self-doubt or confusion and not contributing their brilliant work and talent the world so desperately needs.

embrace the fear Playing Full Out Rita Hyland

Embracing Fear Without Being Flattened By It

embracing fear

Listen to the full podcast episode to learn how to embrace the fear and open yourself up to the best that life has to offer.

My daughter just returned home after her first year of college. When we first dropped her off, there was so much uncertainty, insecurity, hesitation, and fear. Now, nine months later, she’s returned home happy and fulfilled by her experience – even saying she will miss college this summer.

The reason I share this is that nine months ago when we dropped her off, I would never have expected that reaction. That she would have chosen to embrace the fear and open herself up to the full experience. This really got me thinking about fear and how much our attachment to certainty and getting it right can limit us from having deeply satisfying and rewarding experiences.

How easy is it to not want to move forward to embrace the fear and instead clutch onto what we already know?

Here I was seeing through my daughter exactly what happens when we face fear, embrace fear, and ultimately overcome fear. What if she hadn’t been brave? What if she hadn’t faced her fear?  What would she have missed? 

Early on, in my work with men and women, I started to see some very clear patterns in the ways talented individuals were stalling on their way to their goals and desires. 

Oftentimes, their attempts to avoid situations that might be uncertain were unconsciously disguised by being busy, over-preparing, or refining their work. In short, they were hesitating because of their fear.

Ultimately, it became impossible to innovate, share controversial ideas or effect the change they wanted. 

But something profoundly human and magical happens when fear is exposed and the root cause is addressed. When we simply acknowledge that this is fear, I’m afraid, and that I’m going to do it anyway, fear’s power is diminished and this is what it truly means to embrace the fear.

Here’s what you need to remember: You are never going to eliminate fear. But you can be curious about it,  acknowledge it, and have a go-to process to embrace the fear and move through it instead of being flattened by fear. 

Bottom line: Without facing fear, your success is impossible.

Even top achievers are afraid.

Warren Buffet was terrified of speaking in public.

Joanna Gaines couldn’t choose a paint color on her first episode of Fixer Upper and felt like an imposter.

Singer, Adele, was known for getting sick before performing live.

These are successful, ambitious, capable people who admit to still being afraid but face the fear and do it anyway.   

The good news: you can change your relationship to fear and allow this to be the end of avoiding situations that might bring it.

Tune in to this episode of Playing Full Out to learn the process of embracing fear and creating your most satisfying and rewarding present and future. 

 

In this episode I share:

  • How attachment to certainty and getting it right is showing up in your life right now
  • Two practical tools you can use day to day so that you can move beyond fear strategically and not go on an emotional roller coaster
  • Life-changing moments for me that were full of fear and uncertainty 
  • How to find evidence of the direct connection between your life’s best moments so far and facing your fears

 

Resources and related episodes:

 

Subscribe on Apple Podcasts for more tips, tools, and inspiration to leading the optimal vision of your life, love, and leadership. Remember, a half version of you is not enough. The world needs the fullest version of you at play.

Listen on Apple Podcasts

___

About Rita Hyland

With over 20 years of experience as an executive and leadership coach, Rita helps leaders — emerging and established — excel in corporate and entrepreneurial environments.

Rita believes if leaders were more clear about how transformation really works and more intentional about creating what they want, their impact, success, and influence in the world would be unstoppable.

Through her coaching programs, private coaching, and masterminds, Rita shows leaders how to win consistently and create the impact and legacy they desire.

Central to Rita’s work is the understanding that you will never outperform your current programming, no matter how strong your willpower.

When you learn to use Rita’s proprietary Neuroleadership Growth Code, a technology which uses the best of neuroscience and transformational psychology to hit the brain’s buttons for change, YOU become both the solution and the strategy.

Her mission is to end talented, hard-working, and self-aware leaders spending another day stuck in self-doubt or confusion and not contributing their brilliant work and talent the world so desperately needs.

what-you-stand-for

A 10-Minute Challenge To Uncover What You Stand For

what you stand for

Listen to the full podcast episode to hear how to uncover what you stand for:

Years ago, I spent a month volunteering at a battered and abused women’s shelter. This shelter was a hidden house where women and their children could safely escape if they were experiencing abuse in their homes. 

During my time there, I was responsible for the administration of women and children – their operational needs in the home and things like that. There were specific situations that I saw these women and their children go through, that were absolutely heartbreaking. 

Several of the women came to me asking for help. This led me to do a lot of things that were not in line with protocol. I met with them privately on the weekends helping them to create their resumes, look for jobs, and tend to other personal issues.

From the experience, I realized I wanted to be in a position to do something about what I had witnessed – for those around me and for those in similar situations in the future.

That experience crystallized something for me: I wanted to help empower individuals to build the work and lives they were capable of but didn’t know how to start. I wanted to help them tap into the reserves of power they had but didn’t know how to unleash. 

Ten years later, I began a business to elevate individuals to build their life-changing work and design lives that they love. While I didn’t realize it at the time I was at the shelter, I had taken a stand. It made me courageous.

I now know that taking a stand generates a surge of clarity, energy, and freedom.  It gives purpose to our work and lives. Everything truly great and special that was ever created all began with a stand.

Malala’s stand is that all girls and women have a right to an education.  

Martin Luther King Jr. stood for the equal treatment of all individuals, regardless of race.

Present Zelensky’s stand is for the sovereignty of Ukraine.

So, what about you? What is really important to you as you lead your life and community? This is a simple, yet very significant question. 

When you know what is important to you, what you stand for, and your days reflect it, anxiety, depression, and loneliness diminish, and energy and freedom surge. 

If you aren’t yet sure what you stand for, don’t worry.  I have a no-nonsense formula in my arsenal of tools to help you recall what it is that you stand for, or identify it for the very first time.

In this episode on uncovering what you stand for, I share:

  • 3 questions to ask yourself that will help you identify what you stand for
  • A critical distinction that will allow you to see strategies and opportunities that you haven’t seen before
  • Real-life examples of what taking a stand looks like in your personal world and professional world that will give you the momentum to uncover yours
  • The surefire way to know that you are taking a stand

More Resources:

Subscribe on Apple Podcasts for more tips, tools, and inspiration to leading the optimal vision of your life, love, and leadership. Remember, a half version of you is not enough. The world needs the fullest version of you at play.

Listen on Apple Podcasts

___

About Rita Hyland

With over 20 years of experience as an executive and leadership coach, Rita helps leaders — emerging and established — excel in corporate and entrepreneurial environments.

Rita believes if leaders were more clear about how transformation really works and more intentional about creating what they want, their impact, success, and influence in the world would be unstoppable.

Through her coaching programs, private coaching, and masterminds, Rita shows leaders how to win consistently and create the impact and legacy they desire.

Central to Rita’s work is the understanding that you will never outperform your current programming, no matter how strong your willpower.

When you learn to use Rita’s proprietary Neuroleadership Growth Code, a technology which uses the best of neuroscience and transformational psychology to hit the brain’s buttons for change, YOU become both the solution and the strategy.

Her mission is to end talented, hard-working, and self-aware leaders spending another day stuck in self-doubt or confusion and not contributing their brilliant work and talent the world so desperately needs.

Addressing the Real Root Cause Of Stress That Wreaks Havoc On Our Body, Work, And Life

cause-of-stress

Listen to the full podcast episode to hear how to address the real root cause of stress:

There’s something extra special about waking up in the morning when you’re on vacation. I recently experienced it. It’s that elimination of incoming stress as you wrack your brain for things that need to be done in the hours ahead. Instead, in the absence of stress you wake up feeling at peace – your body relaxed and you feel energized and free.

What if you could feel like that every day, not just when you’re on vacation? Do you ever wonder if you were free from stress, who would you have the freedom to be? 

Too many people experience feeling stress-free only a few days out of the year. According to The American Institute of Stress, 33% of people report feeling extreme stress. 

77% of people experience stress that affects their physical health.

73% of people have stress that affects their mental health.

The numbers don’t lie about the havoc that stress wreaks. Three out of four of us are dealing with stress that is negatively impacting our life. That could be you as a leader, your employees, or your family members.

This stress prevents you from playing full out personally and professionally. Yet, too often we feel that stress simply comes with the territory. It’s a known “side-effect” of the life we lead. I want you to know that this doesn’t have to be the case. 

The topic of stress is nothing new, but the way that I want to approach solving it is. Rather than addressing the external causes and symptoms of stress, I want to address the real root cause of stress so that you can transform it. 

Managing your symptoms is only sustainable for so long and like anytime we only address symptoms, stress will continue to return if you aren’t addressing its source. I know.  For too long I unsuccessfully tried to control my external world in order to avoid stress. 

Instead of trying to control everything around us to keep stress at bay, we can learn how to self-regulate so that when we experience stress, we will have the tools to extract the root and transform it. Learning this technique along with two ways to self-regulate will allow you to stop the pattern of continually being triggered by the same situation, employee, worry, or family member, over and over again. 

So if you’re feeling the stress of doing a million things and feel like you are carrying a lot for many, tune in and take notes!

In this episode on addressing the real root cause of stress, I share:

  • How to uncover the real root cause of stress and go beyond working on the surface symptoms  
  • Two simple techniques to pull yourself out of a stress attack instantly
  • The liberating mindset shift to go from blaming external circumstances or other people for your stress so you can be freer than ever before 
  • Why it matters which nervous system we are operating from 
  • How to recognize your triggers and what to do once you observe them 
  • A 4-step approach to balancing your subconscious so it doesn’t take over your life

More Resources:

Subscribe on Apple Podcasts for more tips, tools, and inspiration to leading the optimal vision of your life, love, and leadership. Remember, a half version of you is not enough. The world needs the fullest version of you at play.

Listen on Apple Podcasts

___

About Rita Hyland

With over 20 years of experience as an executive and leadership coach, Rita helps leaders — emerging and established — excel in corporate and entrepreneurial environments.

Rita believes if leaders were more clear about how transformation really works and more intentional about creating what they want, their impact, success, and influence in the world would be unstoppable.

Through her coaching programs, private coaching, and masterminds, Rita shows leaders how to win consistently and create the impact and legacy they desire.

Central to Rita’s work is the understanding that you will never outperform your current programming, no matter how strong your willpower.

When you learn to use Rita’s proprietary Neuroleadership Growth Code, a technology which uses the best of neuroscience and transformational psychology to hit the brain’s buttons for change, YOU become both the solution and the strategy.

Her mission is to end talented, hard-working, and self-aware leaders spending another day stuck in self-doubt or confusion and not contributing their brilliant work and talent the world so desperately needs.

jumpseat-leader

Becoming a Jumpseat Leader with Peter Docker

jumpseat-leader

Listen to the full podcast episode to hear how to become a jumpseat leader:

There are many responsibilities and challenges that come with leading others. Perhaps one of the most difficult is letting go of our control in all types of situations.

For example, imagine being in the middle of an emergency and doing absolutely nothing. Instead, you trust the people around you to take the lead. If that makes you uncomfortable, you’re not alone. Leading with this level of confidence and courage is a type of leadership that most aren’t familiar with.

As difficult as giving up control may be, it’s also very necessary. In fact, it is inevitable. In our careers, we will have to leave our team at some point. As a parent, we will watch our children leave home. When we learn to hand over the reins to others, we are allowing them to confidently move forward.

If you’re used to being the leader who always has the answer, and always springs into action, it may be time to look at the way you lead from a different lens. But how? Our guest, Peter Docker, is sharing how to embrace what he calls, leading from the jumpseat.

Becoming a Jumpseat Leader will lift others up and empower them to become great leaders as well. This shift will allow you to make the greatest impact and leave the greatest legacy.

Peter Docker teaches people how to navigate the challenge of leadership. His latest book, Leading from the Jumpseat, delivers the message that leadership is about lifting people up and giving them the space they need so that, when the time is right, they can take the lead.

Co-author of Find Your Why and formerly a founding Igniter at Simon Sinek Inc., Peter draws on his 25-year career in the Royal Air Force, and over 14 years spent partnering with businesses around the world, to inspire others to Lead from the Jumpseat.

In this episode on becoming a jumpseat leader, I share:

  • What a jumpseat is and how it relates to leadership in all aspects of your life
  • The difference between a stand and a position (and examples of each)
  • How to notice when we are leading from our ego and what the antidote is
  • Taking advantage of the opportunities to make choices from love rather than fear
  • How you can create a team culture that genuinely cares
  • Peter’s 3 main practices of jumpseat leadership
  • What to do if you’re feeling overwhelmed and overextended as a leader

Connect with Peter:

More Resources:

Subscribe on Apple Podcasts for more tips, tools, and inspiration to leading the optimal vision of your life, love, and leadership. Remember, a half version of you is not enough. The world needs the fullest version of you at play.

Listen on Apple Podcasts

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About Rita Hyland

With over 20 years of experience as an executive and leadership coach, Rita helps leaders — emerging and established — excel in corporate and entrepreneurial environments.

Rita believes if leaders were more clear about how transformation really works and more intentional about creating what they want, their impact, success, and influence in the world would be unstoppable.

Through her coaching programs, private coaching, and masterminds, Rita shows leaders how to win consistently and create the impact and legacy they desire.

Central to Rita’s work is the understanding that you will never outperform your current programming, no matter how strong your willpower.

When you learn to use Rita’s proprietary Neuroleadership Growth Code, a technology which uses the best of neuroscience and transformational psychology to hit the brain’s buttons for change, YOU become both the solution and the strategy.

Her mission is to end talented, hard-working, and self-aware leaders spending another day stuck in self-doubt or confusion and not contributing their brilliant work and talent the world so desperately needs.

Five Questions To Cultivate Your Team’s Happiness As Well As Your Own

your-teams-happiness

Listen to the full podcast episode to hear how to cultivate your team’s happiness as well as your own:

13 years ago, I saw Tony Robbins speak at a conference. I recall him saying something that really stuck with me.

He said that the quality of your life will be determined by the quality of the questions you ask yourself.

At the time of this conference, this question caught my attention and I thought it was an interesting one. While it stayed in the back of my mind, I didn’t fully appreciate the truth in his statement until years later.

Today, I can say with confidence that the quality of the questions you ask yourself, and others, is everything to your business, leadership, and even your parenting. I now use questions all day, every day, in my work to empower people to see solutions to problems they hadn’t seen before. 

Think about how you’re feeling in the present. In this shaken and noisy world we’re in right now, many describe feeling unproductive, unsettled, and even unhappy, not totally knowing the reason why. 

When we as leaders have these kinds of feelings, that negative energy quickly and easily transfers to those we lead.

This is where the power of empowering questions comes into play massively.  I’m going to provide you with a handful of questions that you can use individually or with your team to empower them to rise to higher levels of decision-making, productivity, and happiness almost instantly.   

These questions are guaranteed to change perspective. And we know that when we change perspectives, that’s where the real change ultimately begins.

Finally, I invite you to tune into our next episode where I will be interviewing Peter Docker, author of the book Leading from the Jump Seat. It’s a fantastic read, and I promise it will be an interview you won’t want to miss.

In this episode on how to cultivate your team’s happiness, I share:

  • How our unhappiness and low vibration easily transfer to those we lead
  • A powerful and simple secret to cultivating your team’s happiness, as well as your own
  • 5 game-changing questions that will help you turn around some of the common workplace problems (as well as your own) 
  • The one thing to ask when you know you need to redirect yourself or others and time matters. 

More Resources:

Subscribe on Apple Podcasts for more tips, tools, and inspiration to leading the optimal vision of your life, love, and leadership. Remember, a half version of you is not enough. The world needs the fullest version of you at play.

Listen on Apple Podcasts

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About Rita Hyland

With over 20 years of experience as an executive and leadership coach, Rita helps leaders — emerging and established — excel in corporate and entrepreneurial environments.

Rita believes if leaders were more clear about how transformation really works and more intentional about creating what they want, their impact, success, and influence in the world would be unstoppable.

Through her coaching programs, private coaching, and masterminds, Rita shows leaders how to win consistently and create the impact and legacy they desire.

Central to Rita’s work is the understanding that you will never outperform your current programming, no matter how strong your willpower.

When you learn to use Rita’s proprietary Neuroleadership Growth Code, a technology which uses the best of neuroscience and transformational psychology to hit the brain’s buttons for change, YOU become both the solution and the strategy.

Her mission is to end talented, hard-working, and self-aware leaders spending another day stuck in self-doubt or confusion and not contributing their brilliant work and talent the world so desperately needs.

troubleshoot-work-irritations

Using Equal Energy Exchange (E3) to Troubleshoot Work Irritations

troubleshoot-work-irritations

Listen to the full podcast episode to hear how to troubleshoot work irritations:

Are you the person at work who always shows up and gets results? Maybe you are the person who your colleagues or your boss come to when they need someone to work through a difficult project or step in to lead a presentation at the last minute. 

Being the “go-to” person may feel good sometimes, especially initially. But over time, you may notice this feeling begins to shift. It may transform into resentment, frustration, or even anger. 

You want to help and show up for your people, but at what cost to you? When it comes at the cost of your time and energy and without a reciprocal amount of energy returned, the unequal balance of energy can quickly deteriorate otherwise good relationships. It’s a common problem today even among talented and established individuals, leaders, and teams.

The problem with unequal energy exchange is that it’s often misdiagnosed. When I first speak to individuals, no one ever asks for help with their boundary issues. Instead they explain feeling overwhelmed or carrying resentment towards work or colleagues. Some report feeling that they have no time for themselves and long for the days when they feel free. All of these descriptions disguise what are boundary issues which are a result of unequal energy exchanges.

I can spot the diagnosis of an unequal energy exchange a mile away, and get to the underlying cause, because I’ve experienced it myself. Years ago, I said yes to almost any request for help at work. I performed, I pleased, and I was a producer of much. However, it was energetically taxing me and it was at a cost that I didn’t recognize at the time. I rarely asked for the help that I needed even when I was at my sickest. 

Fast forward to today, and the opposite is true. I now use the Equal Energy Exchange (E3) to prevent me from getting into the predicament of being over-extended, annoyed, or worse – resentful.  I have a high value for my energy. I’m a master at establishing and holding my boundaries so that I never sacrifice myself or blame others because I didn’t say no. I know that it is my job to balance the energy scales, not anyone else’s. By understanding the energy exchange I am never a victim and can rectify inequities quickly. I know how to restore energetic equilibrium and as a result my relationships are elevated. I want the same for you.

In this episode on how to troubleshoot work irritations, I share:

  • The many forms of energy we have to give and receive.
  • The two common things that occur when we don’t establish and hold our boundaries.
  • A super powerful tool that will help you set and hold a boundary, no matter how big of an over giver or people pleaser, you are.
  • How to know if there is an equal energy exchange, or if the energy scale is off-balance.
  • The exact words to use to communicate to another that a boundary has been violated.
  • How you can increase your levels of peace and productivity simply by asking for what you want and need.

More Resources:

Subscribe on Apple Podcasts for more tips, tools, and inspiration to leading the optimal vision of your life, love, and leadership. Remember, a half version of you is not enough. The world needs the fullest version of you at play.

Listen on Apple Podcasts

___

About Rita Hyland

With over 20 years of experience as an executive and leadership coach, Rita helps leaders — emerging and established — excel in corporate and entrepreneurial environments.

Rita believes if leaders were more clear about how transformation really works and more intentional about creating what they want, their impact, success, and influence in the world would be unstoppable.

Through her coaching programs, private coaching, and masterminds, Rita shows leaders how to win consistently and create the impact and legacy they desire.

Central to Rita’s work is the understanding that you will never outperform your current programming, no matter how strong your willpower.

When you learn to use Rita’s proprietary Neuroleadership Growth Code, a technology which uses the best of neuroscience and transformational psychology to hit the brain’s buttons for change, YOU become both the solution and the strategy.

Her mission is to end talented, hard-working, and self-aware leaders spending another day stuck in self-doubt or confusion and not contributing their brilliant work and talent the world so desperately needs.

how-fulfilled-leaders-win

How Fulfilled Leaders Win Before Most People Wake

how-fulfilled-leaders-win

Listen to the full podcast episode to hear how fulfilled leaders win before most people wake:

We’ve hit that time of the year where it’s easy to feel a little less energy and focus than when the year began. Maybe you’re facing the same struggles that you did last year, or maybe new challenges have risen. Regardless, you want to experience the confidence, energy, and enthusiasm that you notice other high-contributors and strong leaders in your world exhibiting. 

The question is, how do some leaders accomplish so much all while seeming to have endless energy to expand themselves, their careers and life? The answer lies in something that I am extremely passionate about, and that is rituals and routines. The masters of their art have a few key rituals throughout the day that deliberately position them for increased productivity, performance, purpose, and peace. I call these the four keys to power. 

Specifically, they embrace and refine one ritual that is like high-octane fuel for their mind, body and spirit. It is the secret to turning you into the hero of your own life. Are you ready for it?

It’s the morning ritual.

I first experienced the power of the morning ritual about 25 years ago. I taught early morning fitness classes before my day job to earn money. Magic happened as a result of those 6:00 am classes. Obviously, I felt stronger physically but more importantly I noticed my confidence climb, my creativity increase and I had the calm I needed to focus on work that mattered and to navigate challenges that occurred throughout the day. I also noticed that on the days when I didn’t follow my morning routine I was less  productive, balanced and peaceful.  

Fast forward to today and I still believe in the early morning ritual magic. The only difference is that now I know the brain science and proven results behind it. When you have a strong morning ritual, the kind that I’m talking about, you’re going to be able to sustain high output, as well as feel balance and happiness throughout your day. Uncover how so many leaders just like you are elevating their personal mastery and professional impact using an early morning ritual. Then use the 5-step method I share  here to implement your own morning ritual and begin to notice your own performance, joy and focus elevate.

In this episode on how fulfilled leaders win, I share:

  • The two things you must know when it comes to burnout in the workplace
  • The critical first step in the process to escape burnout
  • How to know when it’s time for you to tell your boss you’re overextended, 
  • How to position the conversation so that you’re heard and get what you need
  • What to expect your boss’ reaction to be when you have this conversation 
  • Why the Hero Complex thinking is not serving you or the people around you
  • Research-backed tips if you are the boss on the receiving end of a direct report’s burnout conversation, and how you can avoid this problem in the first place

More Resources:

Subscribe on Apple Podcasts for more tips, tools, and inspiration to leading the optimal vision of your life, love, and leadership. Remember, a half version of you is not enough. The world needs the fullest version of you at play.

Listen on Apple Podcasts

___

About Rita Hyland

With over 20 years of experience as an executive and leadership coach, Rita helps leaders — emerging and established — excel in corporate and entrepreneurial environments.

Rita believes if leaders were more clear about how transformation really works and more intentional about creating what they want, their impact, success, and influence in the world would be unstoppable.

Through her coaching programs, private coaching, and masterminds, Rita shows leaders how to win consistently and create the impact and legacy they desire.

Central to Rita’s work is the understanding that you will never outperform your current programming, no matter how strong your willpower.

When you learn to use Rita’s proprietary Neuroleadership Growth Code, a technology which uses the best of neuroscience and transformational psychology to hit the brain’s buttons for change, YOU become both the solution and the strategy.

Her mission is to end talented, hard-working, and self-aware leaders spending another day stuck in self-doubt or confusion and not contributing their brilliant work and talent the world so desperately needs.

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