Tag Archive for: fear

running toward

What Are Your Running Toward?

running toward

 

I was recently interviewed for a magazine article where I was asked questions about my work and life.

We discussed things including what my business stands for, who I am at the core, my fears, what I’m excited about ahead, and what I do when overwhelm strikes.

I know you already know some things about me. Like that, I see self-awareness as the greatest competitive advantage of our time.

But did you know that I’ve struggled with resistance to what I want most everyday of my life? In this interview, we discussed that and more.

Since my intention for this Monthly Journal has always been to share myself authentically so that we may evolve and advance together, I thought I’d share this interview with you today.

Maybe you’ll identify with a part of it or it’ll provoke you to ask yourself some new questions about your ‘why’ and what you’re running toward.

This time of year brings with it a sense of reflection and renewal. May it bring you to a deeper understanding, knowing, and loving of you!

 

What are the core values of your business?

RH: Generosity, commitment, integrity, kindness, and authenticity.

What does your business do?

RH: In an uber-fast-paced world, we help individuals overcome the resistance to unleash the best work of their career so that they can be the best leaders, spouses, parents, and friends they want to be.

Why do you believe people do business with you?

RH: People know I am 100% in their corner the moment they start to work with me. That I’m as passionate as they are about getting the best version of their work and life into the world. I have over 20 plus years of being a coach, but more importantly, I walk my talk.

What sets you apart from your competition?

RH: I have something that other coaches are missing — it’s not just a nice-to-have conversation — I get paid for results. I use the best of neuroscience, transformational psychology, and a bit of spiritual wisdom along with my half-century of life experience to create real change. It’s a change that’s sustainable long after the coaching is complete and is noticed and starts from the first time we meet.

What sets your approach apart from others?

RH: Your job performance cannot be separated from your personal history or your life outside of work. Skill and talent cannot be fully deployed and leveraged without having the x-factor — or what I refer to as The Inner Game Advantage. Too many individuals are still limiting their search for personal and professional advancement to increasing training, expertise, work effort, or accessing a new strategy. My approach is goal-oriented but it undeniably demands a level of self-examination that is rare in corporate life. You’re asked to peel away your defenses, explore the underlying motivations that drive you, and look at the impact your behavior is having on the key people in your life. The process leads you to a path of self-understanding and transformation.

Tell me a bit about you. The person behind your brand.

RH: I had early lessons in leadership. From a young age, I began to understand the intricacies of leadership through the example set by my father. As a Colonel in the U.S. Army, he embodied discipline, commitment, selflessness, and integrity – traits that would later become central to my philosophy of leadership. I have observed and tested many leadership styles. I have an insatiable appetite for observing what makes people tick and what empowers them to become greater versions of themselves.

On a personal note, I am relatable. I love to laugh. I see the world as a place in extreme need of unleashing the skills and talents individuals already possess. I see things others don’t see and can relay the information in a way others can use for real change. I’m passionate about wanting to help others experience the highest version of themselves, but I don’t need or want to be in the limelight. I enjoy being with my clients as they cross the finish line.

​What do people not know about your work?

RH: Probably that behind my work to create happy, high-performers is my bigger mission to build self-aware leaders who become models of the kind of interactions and attitudes we want to see in our families, teams, and companies. I want the individual I work with to positively affect 1,000 others.

What’s something people don’t know about you?

RH: As enthusiastic as I am about the possibility and creating new things, I have been battling resistance my whole life. Resistance is that feeling of not wanting to do something that you know is good for you or that you decided previously you should do. That I am more shy than I appear. That I’m always challenging myself to be more self-aware because I love the feeling of greater freedom on the other side. That I‘m a bit of a protector, such that when I see someone being unkind I’m going to get involved. It’s the one thing that will get me off the sidelines most quickly. I don’t know that it’s always a good thing. I also like to defy the odds. When someone tells me something is impossible, I consider that ‘game on.’

What person (real or TV character) would best represent you or the brand of your company and why?

RH: If I could have anyone represent my company it would likely be the Spanx founder, Sara Blakey. She’s spunky, courageous, direct, bold, and funny. She has a young family and success. She demonstrates that you can have both professional success and a robust personal life.

​What brand of shoes would best represent your brand and why?

RH: Oh wow. I don’t know the exact brand, but it’s one that is solid, sustainable, more expensive, not trendy, but built to last. Quiet luxury is my favorite. It feels comfortable looks great and has a classical flash in a new way.

​What famous person or celebrity are you most like? Go ahead, be truthful.

RH: I’d love to be a cross between Sara Blakey, Maya Angelou, and Diane Keaton. Sara for her boldness and results-oriented self. Maya for her sage-like wisdom, grace, strength, and presence. Diane for her classic, cool style and fun! Hah! I guess a happy, bold sage is what I’m aiming for!

What is the driving reason why you’re in business? Why does this business exist?

RH: Because as Maslow’s needs suggest, the highest of our needs is to self-actualize, to know our highest potential, and to test our edges. But Maslow estimates that less than 1% ever will do this. This means there is a world of individuals in positions of leadership who are operating at a fraction of their potential. Who will never become who they are here to be and even worse will never fulfill their purpose to serve others, have fun, and enjoy their life while they do. I’m here to build brigades of self-actualized leaders who improve the world.

What is your dream?

RH: That one day what we’re talking about here — understanding how powerful we are and how to unlock that to serve ourselves and others — is mainstream. Knowing the science of how we create and self-understanding is taught in grade school. It’s not philosophy and longer — it’s physics. We do a disservice waiting until we are halfway through our lives to unlearn all the things we learned that don’t serve us.

What are you most looking forward to?

RH: My upcoming new program that my team and I have been working on. It’s a hybrid group coaching and private coaching program designed so that more who want to get the inner game advantage can do so. I am really excited about it!

​Do you ever get overwhelmed or afraid?

RH: Heck ya! Everyday. Fear is innately within us. It’s not a matter of if we feel fear. It’s what we do with it when it shows up. My goal over the last several decades has been to continually reduce the amount of time I am led by fear and the lag time between when it strikes and my next action. I may experience it less, but I still experience it.

What do you do when you get overwhelmed or afraid?

RH: I ask myself, what I am afraid of. Once I have my honest answer I ask, is it true? In most cases, my fear isn’t true and is a story I made up. Simply seeing things accurately shifts me. I also will ask if I can deal with whatever the worst-case scenario is that I fear.

​What you’re reading right now:

RH: Do the Work by Steven Pressfield

Favorite book:

RH: The Choice by Edith Eger. It found me at the exact right time.

Favorite guilty pleasure…

RH: A glass of wine before dinner

Favorite part of the day…

RH: The silence of the early morning before anyone’s awake.

What you’d want to be if you weren’t a coach

RH: A country singer for certain!

embrace the fear Playing Full Out Rita Hyland

Embracing Fear Without Being Flattened By It

embracing fear

Listen to the full podcast episode to learn how to embrace the fear and open yourself up to the best that life has to offer.

My daughter just returned home after her first year of college. When we first dropped her off, there was so much uncertainty, insecurity, hesitation, and fear. Now, nine months later, she’s returned home happy and fulfilled by her experience – even saying she will miss college this summer.

The reason I share this is that nine months ago when we dropped her off, I would never have expected that reaction. That she would have chosen to embrace the fear and open herself up to the full experience. This really got me thinking about fear and how much our attachment to certainty and getting it right can limit us from having deeply satisfying and rewarding experiences.

How easy is it to not want to move forward to embrace the fear and instead clutch onto what we already know?

Here I was seeing through my daughter exactly what happens when we face fear, embrace fear, and ultimately overcome fear. What if she hadn’t been brave? What if she hadn’t faced her fear?  What would she have missed? 

Early on, in my work with men and women, I started to see some very clear patterns in the ways talented individuals were stalling on their way to their goals and desires. 

Oftentimes, their attempts to avoid situations that might be uncertain were unconsciously disguised by being busy, over-preparing, or refining their work. In short, they were hesitating because of their fear.

Ultimately, it became impossible to innovate, share controversial ideas or effect the change they wanted. 

But something profoundly human and magical happens when fear is exposed and the root cause is addressed. When we simply acknowledge that this is fear, I’m afraid, and that I’m going to do it anyway, fear’s power is diminished and this is what it truly means to embrace the fear.

Here’s what you need to remember: You are never going to eliminate fear. But you can be curious about it,  acknowledge it, and have a go-to process to embrace the fear and move through it instead of being flattened by fear. 

Bottom line: Without facing fear, your success is impossible.

Even top achievers are afraid.

Warren Buffet was terrified of speaking in public.

Joanna Gaines couldn’t choose a paint color on her first episode of Fixer Upper and felt like an imposter.

Singer, Adele, was known for getting sick before performing live.

These are successful, ambitious, capable people who admit to still being afraid but face the fear and do it anyway.   

The good news: you can change your relationship to fear and allow this to be the end of avoiding situations that might bring it.

Tune in to this episode of Playing Full Out to learn the process of embracing fear and creating your most satisfying and rewarding present and future. 

 

In this episode I share:

  • How attachment to certainty and getting it right is showing up in your life right now
  • Two practical tools you can use day to day so that you can move beyond fear strategically and not go on an emotional roller coaster
  • Life-changing moments for me that were full of fear and uncertainty 
  • How to find evidence of the direct connection between your life’s best moments so far and facing your fears

 

Resources and related episodes:

 

Subscribe on Apple Podcasts for more tips, tools, and inspiration to leading the optimal vision of your life, love, and leadership. Remember, a half version of you is not enough. The world needs the fullest version of you at play.

Listen on Apple Podcasts

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About Rita Hyland

With over 20 years of experience as an executive and leadership coach, Rita helps leaders — emerging and established — excel in corporate and entrepreneurial environments.

Rita believes if leaders were more clear about how transformation really works and more intentional about creating what they want, their impact, success, and influence in the world would be unstoppable.

Through her coaching programs, private coaching, and masterminds, Rita shows leaders how to win consistently and create the impact and legacy they desire.

Central to Rita’s work is the understanding that you will never outperform your current programming, no matter how strong your willpower.

When you learn to use Rita’s proprietary Neuroleadership Growth Code, a technology which uses the best of neuroscience and transformational psychology to hit the brain’s buttons for change, YOU become both the solution and the strategy.

Her mission is to end talented, hard-working, and self-aware leaders spending another day stuck in self-doubt or confusion and not contributing their brilliant work and talent the world so desperately needs.

A-Shortcut-To-Neutralize-Worry-and-Face-Down-Fear

A Shortcut To Neutralize Worry and Face Down Fear

a-shortcut-to-Neutralize-worry-and-face-down-fear

You can listen to the full podcast episode here:

Years ago, my family and I were on summer vacation at the lake. It was a picturesque summer day. The sky was blue, the lake was calm, and the kids were happy. I took my three children out to go paddle boarding and we glided all the way across the lake with ease. However, when it was time to come back, our circumstances changed. The current was fighting against us and a storm was quickly approaching.

While I remained calm on the outside, I began to panic and felt a rush of fear wash over me. There were three young children who were all crying and extremely scared, and only one of me. How was I going to get everyone out of this safely? Well, the important thing is that I did. What I learned that day is equally as important.

This specific situation is my reminder that I have overcome something that felt absolutely impossible at the time. I can still remember the terror that I experienced that day, and yet I got through it. If I could work my way through that, I can certainly tackle other challenges as well. And so can you.

When painful or challenging things happen to us, it often heightens our anxiety. We begin to think of what-if and worst-case scenarios. That kind of worrying does one thing. It drains you to your core. It is a surefire way to cause you to miss out on life’s wonder and celebrations that you were meant to experience. 

Now, think of a time when you were scared or thought it’s over. A time when you wanted to wave your white flag and call it quits. If you’re reading this today, that means you got through it. Use those past courageous moments to propel you forward. Use them to find your strength and endurance to serve others and build the life you desire.

In this episode I share:

  • A shortcut to taking control of your own thought process and eliminate worry
  • Powerful tools that will help you gain trust and faith in your future self
  • How to use your unique courageous story to overcome mental and physical tests
  • Using the cookie jar concept to remind yourself of what you’re capable of

More Resources: 

Subscribe on Apple Podcasts for more tips, tools, and inspiration to leading the optimal vision of your life, love, and leadership. Remember, a half version of you is not enough. The world needs the fullest version of you at play.

Listen on Apple Podcasts

___

About Rita Hyland

With over 20 years of experience as an executive and leadership coach, Rita helps leaders — emerging and established — excel in corporate and entrepreneurial environments.

Rita believes if leaders were more clear about how transformation really works and more intentional about creating what they want, their impact, success, and influence in the world would be unstoppable.

Through her coaching programs, private coaching, and masterminds, Rita shows leaders how to win consistently and create the impact and legacy they desire.

Central to Rita’s work is the understanding that you will never outperform your current programming, no matter how strong your willpower.

When you learn to use Rita’s proprietary Neuroleadership Growth Code, a technology which uses the best of neuroscience and transformational psychology to hit the brain’s buttons for change, YOU become both the solution and the strategy.

Her mission is to end talented, hard-working, and self-aware leaders spending another day stuck in self-doubt or confusion and not contributing their brilliant work and talent the world so desperately needs.

LISTENER FAVORITE: Navy SEAL Shares Relief Tactics For Managing Stress And Failure Even In The Toughest Times

You can listen to the full podcast episode here:


Have you ever wondered how one of the world’s most stressful professions manages stress and remains resilient even in difficult times? In my interview with Chriss Smith, former Navy SEAL, he discusses the stress relief tactics he and the Navy SEALS swear by. He also shares his personal stories with setbacks and failures and how you can move through both.

Listen in as Chriss talks about:

  • His failure at BUDS training and how he got back up again
  • Why he believes fear has the power to paralyze but also the power to propel
  • What he used then and still today to get through setbacks, fear, and the unknown
  • Why now is the EXACT time for radical self-reflection
  • What drives him to push to his edge
  • What he’s learning about himself during this forced winter brought on by COVID
  • Plus some techniques he learned in the SEALS to overcome fear and stress.

Connect with Chriss Smith:

More Resources: 

Subscribe on Apple Podcasts for more tips, tools, and inspiration to leading the optimal vision of your life, love, and leadership. Remember, a half version of you is not enough. The world needs the fullest version of you at play.

Listen on Apple Podcasts

___

About Rita Hyland

With over 20 years of experience as an executive and leadership coach, Rita helps leaders — emerging and established — excel in corporate and entrepreneurial environments.

Rita believes if leaders were more clear about how transformation really works and more intentional about creating what they want, their impact, success, and influence in the world would be unstoppable.

Through her coaching programs, private coaching, and masterminds, Rita shows leaders how to win consistently and create the impact and legacy they desire.

Central to Rita’s work is the understanding that you will never outperform your current programming, no matter how strong your willpower.

When you learn to use Rita’s proprietary Neuroleadership Growth Code, a technology which uses the best of neuroscience and transformational psychology to hit the brain’s buttons for change, YOU become both the solution and the strategy.

Her mission is to end talented, hard-working, and self-aware leaders spending another day stuck in self-doubt or confusion and not contributing their brilliant work and talent the world so desperately needs.

The Real Reason You Aren’t Increasing Your Clients

You can listen to the full podcast episode here:

Think about your current clist list. Are you searching for ways to expand it? If you’re viewing the problem of your lack of client growth as the problem, then you are approaching this in the wrong way. Want to know the REAL reason you aren’t increasing your clients? Hint: it has NOTHING to do with you not having the right strategy. 

Are you ready for some tough love? Here it is…you can’t handle it. Specifically, you can’t handle the reality of being seen and the judgments that come with it. I am so passionate about this topic because I can teach you tangible tips to overcome this hurdle in your business. When you can understand this, your entire experience and approach to gaining clients and feeling confident doing so, will be changed.

In this episode, you’ll learn:

  • What your current client list says about YOU
  • Why you must have the ‘capacity’ to handle whatever happens, including the unexpected, when you have a larger client list
  • The importance of expanding your frequency and how to do it
  • Coming to terms with judgement that comes from having a greater presence 
  • A daily exercise to get you growth more quickly

Growth comes with a certain level of discomfort. If you are listening to this, it tells me you are likely in a position of leadership, that is, you serve and care for people in some way. This means that you have important work to do. I want you to ask yourself, isn’t helping people more important than my fear of judgement? Tune in to hear 3 specific steps to take in order to increase your ability to grow your client list to whatever size you desire. 

Resources:

  • The Big Leap, Gay Hendricks
  • Check out last week’s episode, Why You Don’t Do What You Say You Want here.
  • If you’d like to be notified of when new podcast episodes are released, you can do so here: Playing Full Out
  • Learn more about the Inside Out Method
  • Connect with Rita on LinkedIn

Subscribe on Apple Podcasts for more tips, tools, and inspiration to leading the optimal vision of your life, love, and leadership. Remember, a half version of you is not enough. The world needs the fullest version of you at play.

Listen on Apple Podcasts

___

About Rita Hyland

With over 20 years of experience as an executive and leadership coach, Rita helps leaders — emerging and established — excel in corporate and entrepreneurial environments.

Rita believes if leaders were more clear about how transformation really works and more intentional about creating what they want, their impact, success, and influence in the world would be unstoppable.

Through her coaching programs, private coaching, and masterminds, Rita shows leaders how to win consistently and create the impact and legacy they desire.

Central to Rita’s work is the understanding that you will never outperform your current programming, no matter how strong your willpower.

When you learn to use Rita’s proprietary Neuroleadership Growth Code, a technology which uses the best of neuroscience and transformational psychology to hit the brain’s buttons for change, YOU become both the solution and the strategy.

Her mission is to end talented, hard-working, and self-aware leaders spending another day stuck in self-doubt or confusion and not contributing their brilliant work and talent the world so desperately needs.

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