Listen To My Latest Podcast Episode:

145: The Hidden Cost Behind Having It All Together: What High-Performers Rarely Admit But Deeply Feel

Listen To My Latest Podcast Episode:145: The Hidden Cost Behind Having It All Together: What High-Performers Rarely Admit But Deeply Feel

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Tag Archive for: connection

meaningful connection

The Care and Nurturing of Meaningful Connection

meaningful connection

 

As I headed into my hometown to be with my family for Thanksgiving, I saw a sign at the local cleaners that read, ”Until further notice…celebrate everything.” Amen, I thought. This year, has reminded me how temporary this life is.

While I drove I thought about the 41 individuals ranging in age from two to 82 who would gather around the table. There hasn’t been a year I’ve missed returning to be with them at Thanksgiving. To me it is home.

Just like any family we are a funny crew. We can’t possibly all believe, choose and do the same things. We all have different histories and stories and therefore different perspectives. We are in different seasons of our life. We have grown, experienced setbacks, missteps, pain and loss at different points and in different measures.

But despite these differences, we’re more alike than we are different. At least that’s where I put my attention. Others must too. There’s something that has so many of us returning as our families have grown.

What I’ve learned about family — and relationships in general — is that relationships run on rededication and recommitment. They don’t run well on autopilot. They require investment.

As I’ve moved between two homes and two states these last months, I’ve realized even more the importance of the care and nurturing of our relationships. That we must tend to them continually with love, kindness, and support. Like all living things, they will wither without proper feeding.

This year at Thanksgiving I knew we would all be feeling the heaviness of the loss of our beloved Uncle Ted around the Thanksgiving table. He always created a welcoming, compassionate, judgement-free zone. He seemed to know most people in life are just looking for a safe place to be themselves.

The truth is when we provide a safe place for others to be themselves and allow them to give that to us as well, we experience the true connection we all seek.

I’ve learned that our stories and the events in our lives may take twists and turns that pull our relationships in different directions, but we always have the opportunity to rededicate and recommit to them.

I am more aware than ever that one day these Thanksgiving celebrations will take another form. In the meantime — and until further notice — I will keep celebrating. I encourage you to do the same.

May this season be a time when we refresh the love and kindness we bring to each relationship, knowing that connection not only sustains us but provides us warmth on our coldest days.

Wishing you a season full of meaningful connections. I am grateful for YOU and our connection!

Warmly,

~Rita

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simplicity

Embracing the Power of Simplicity

simplicity

 

When I write you each month there are times I don’t know what I will say. Then I ask myself what I need to hear at this time. What advice or inspiration do I want to hear? What do I need to practice? It’s then that my message comes to me.

No matter how I looked for something profound, I kept returning to what may sound simple.

I received a note from a friend this week. I only get to see her a couple of times a year but I love being with her wit, intelligence, humor, and heart. She lost her husband to brain cancer a few years ago. Her three kids are the same ages as mine. She tells me I’m an inspiration to her, but it’s she who is an inspiration to me.

She reminded me that I had given her a book this past summer that made an enormous impression on her. She wrote that she recently gave another copy of that exact book to a friend whose son had just been placed in a psychiatric Intensive Care Unit as a result of his intent to harm himself.

She ordered the book to the family. The family was so moved by the book that they obtained permission for the boy to keep it in the ICU where he is otherwise allowed nothing.

The book is called The Boy, the Mole, the Fox and the Horse by Charlie Mackesy. If you haven’t read it yet, I encourage you to do so. If you have read it, you already know it’s good to read it again.

It’s a story about four different and unlikely friends — the boy, the mole, the fox, and the horse — who meet along the way, each uniquely sharing their fears, hurts, friendship, and kindness.

The book is for everyone from eight to eighty as the author accurately shares within its first pages.

I read the book again this week. You can finish it in one sitting. As I did, I jotted down parts of the conversation between the unsuspecting friends who spoke to me. I wanted to share some of those with you in the event that they might speak to you too.

“One of our greatest freedoms is how we react to things.”

“Isn’t it odd? We can only see our outsides, but nearly everything happens on the inside.”

“Being kind to yourself is one of the greatest kindnesses.”

“Sometimes we all feel lost.”

“The truth is we are all just winging it.”

“Everyone is a bit scared, but we are less scared together.”

“‘What is the bravest thing you’ve ever said,’ asked the boy. ‘Help,’ said the horse.”

“When have you been at your strongest?” asked the boy. “When I have dared to show my weakness.”

“Life is difficult but you are loved.”

“Nothing beats kindness.”

“We are here to love and be loved.”

“When the big things feel out of control, focus on what you love right under your nose.”​

Their conversation is simple — and profound. (Turns out those characteristics aren’t mutually exclusive.)

Unfortunately too often we humans tend to value the things that are big, complex, difficult, or grandiose.

We miss the magic of the small, easy, and simple exchanges in our everyday interactions. The things that are truly meaningful.

At this time of year, it is particularly easy to allow ourselves to get lost in the hype of big, difficult, and complex. “There’s so much to do,” we tell ourselves. We thereby cultivate the very existence we don’t want. We miss the parts that give life meaning.

This season I am committing to embrace more simplicity. To refrain from making things harder than they need to be and instead to connect more with others. To give a smile to a stranger. Share a favorite book with a friend. Say out loud the compliment I’m thinking in my head. Give my full attention to a child. Call a person who may be in need of a friend. Listen to where my intuition guides me.

In doing so, I know I’ll be in connection with the Divine, myself, and others. This is where life has meaning. This is what really fuels joy.

This week we began the sixth annual holiday drive for homeless students in my town. There currently are over 101 students in K-12 who are without a stable, adequate, or fixed home. We are looking to make sure each one of them goes home with something as they leave school to celebrate the holidays.

I like to think that perhaps their gift will remind them that they are not alone and that they are loved — even by strangers.

Keep it simple. We are all interconnected. Remember that your one small act of kindness may change — or save — a life.

And when life starts to feel heavy or unwieldy this season, I encourage you to open The Boy, the Mole, the Fox, and the Horse and read a page. I am confident its simplicity and truth will return you to your center and the simplicity you crave.

As the holidays approach, may we set the intention and make the choices to allow for more simplicity, ease, calm, connection, and gratitude for what is right before us.

Sending much love-

~Rita

 

P.S. If you’d like to give to students without a home, you can Venmo a donation to @EWTeam or contact me directly to find out more. This year we are qualified to receive corporate gifts and donations from foundations. Thank you!

https://www.ritahyland.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/11/RMJ-Newsletter-11_2023.png 464 440 Joyce Polintan https://www.ritahyland.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/04/Rita-Hyland-1-line-blue-NOTAG-01.svg Joyce Polintan2023-11-20 17:38:242023-11-20 17:38:24Embracing the Power of Simplicity
relationship advantage

The Relationship Advantage

relationship advantage

Several years ago I was sitting around a room with a group of women who I used to meet with regularly. A few were talking about their relationships with their spouses when one woman looked at me and said, “You have a great relationship. How do you do it?”

The question took me aback. Like many couples, my husband and I disagree and can get annoyed with each other and even get into arguments. I’d never thought about my relationship being particularly better than others, but by the additional comments of the other women there, it was clear they did.

I began by saying, “Don’t make the mistake of thinking we are perfect and that ‘stuff’ doesn’t happen. Just this week, my husband had the family’s long-haired cat, Beau, shaved with Lion’s cut while I was gone. I am still upset about it.” They roared with laughter. Likely the combination of my husband’s ‘interesting’ choice and an appreciation for my transparency.

But this week when I was walking with a friend and she too asked how I make it work in my relationship, it got me thinking about relationships and the fundamentals of a healthy one.

​
From my hundreds and hundreds of conversations with clients and over 20+ years of marriage, here are a few hacks that will give your relationship an advantage.

​

  • Do your work. Not your job. Not your career profile. But truly get to know yourself so that you can know what you really want and be available to receive it. I did a lot of work before getting into my relationship which means I didn’t bring as many of my defenses, blindspots, and insecurities into it. That doesn’t mean there aren’t things I’m still learning from my relationship. But I learned long ago that relationships are our teachers. They will bring to the surface what we still need to learn. To experience the kind of relationship that’s possible for you, you’ve got to be willing to do the real work. Ask yourself… What am I truly worried or afraid of that is triggering me in my relationship right now?

​

  • Own your part. This means owning the piece that is yours. We’re 100% responsible for 50% of the relationship. It can be easy to blame others for a problem. It reflects a high level of intelligence to be able to see things without judgment. Be curious and humble. Maybe you’ve trained the person to treat you a certain way or you haven’t communicated clearly what you want. It’s not about blame but instead exposing where you’re playing a role. Once you own your part, your ego quiets itself, you become less defensive, get what you are meant to learn, and can effectively resolve any conflict. Ask yourself…How am I unwittingly contributing to what I am blaming another for? What part am I responsible for?​
    ​
  • Find the good. It’s there. The other day a friend mentioned how impressed she was with her husband’s handling of their son’s crashing the family car into the garage. Normally impatient, he was calm and didn’t get upset. I asked if she’d mentioned to her husband how well he’d handled the situation. She hadn’t. It’s important to affirm what we want to see more of in our relationships. To be generous with our compliments. As humans, we are inherently drawn to see the negative. It’s our built-in self-protection mechanism. The problem is we get more of where our attention is. What I am saying is to catch the good in action and say it out loud. Not only will it move your attention and improve your relationship, but you’ll also get more of what you want. What is going right that I can affirm?

​

  • Be clear. Ask for what you want. Too often we’re hoping and expecting others will understand us. Long gone are the days I’d use hope as my strategy in my relationship. Working on something and hoping my husband would see it or be grateful is not clear enough. Today, I’ll say “I’d really like…” or “I’m about to tell you something, and I am simply looking for you to listen— no solutions necessary.” Or “When I speak right now, I need you to be patient before you respond.” What happens is I get exactly what I want, and he isn’t frustrated that he’s let me down. The same holds true at work. Be clear. “What I want is…”

​

  • Be vulnerable. Early in my marriage, my husband scheduled a “financial summit” between the two of us. After a few minutes, I started crying. I told him I couldn’t continue and needed to step away and return later. I needed to see what was coming up. He granted me the space. Once I’d identified a deep belief that I was not smart with money and where it came from, I shared this with him. It turned everything around. I didn’t erroneously project my emotion on him and he could practice patience and compassion for me around this topic. “This is something I’ve learned or observed about myself. I’m working on it and ask that you have patience and compassion for me as I do.”

​

  • Communicate. Communicate. Communicate. Don’t stop until you get to the root of the wart. In the situation where the cat was given Lion’s cut, I could focus and yell about what he did — and I did — but eventually, I asked a better question: “What do you really want?” His answer gave us something we could both work with. My response was, “Ok, you don’t have to shave the cat next time to get that.” Ask another…“What is it you really want?”

​
Beyoncé once said, “If everything was perfect, you would never learn and you would never grow.” This is especially true in relationships.

Remember sometimes our greatest points of conflict in relationships are opportunities to investigate our own beliefs and patterns of behavior.

​
Cheers to your opportunities for growth. On the other side is peace, love, and freedom — and who doesn’t want more of that?

Affectionately,

~Rita

https://www.ritahyland.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/07/RMJ-Newsletter-07_2023.png 464 440 Joyce Polintan https://www.ritahyland.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/04/Rita-Hyland-1-line-blue-NOTAG-01.svg Joyce Polintan2023-07-24 16:01:582023-07-24 16:06:17The Relationship Advantage
patience-in-the-middle-places

Patience In the Middle Places

patience-in-the-middle-places

The truth. I’ve struggled with my relationship with patience my whole life. I believed that if something should or could be done, then why not right now?

The faster the better.

For example, recently when the temperatures dropped to sub-zero in the Midwest, the door to my car’s gas tank froze shut. I wasn’t going anywhere. There was gas in the tank. I had access to several other cars available in the driveway. But I wanted it fixed.

Right at that moment.

With that mindset, I went at it until I ripped the metal door right off the gas tank. Had I had patience, I would have waited for the temperature to rise the predicted 30 degrees that it did the next day. Surely, both my car and I would have been better off.

As I walked into my parent’s house holding the part of my car I’d ripped off, I asked myself, what just happened?

What I observed is how uncomfortable I am waiting in the middle place. That time in between when things aren’t fixed, or finished, or my ambitions that I’m so passionate about are not actualized. It’s the space in the middle that causes me unrest.

In those middle places, I find I am thinking about all of the things that need to happen and get done right now. I have places to go, and people to meet. I have aspirations calling my name that I want to realize. Maybe you feel this too.

I was led to believe by society that success was a product of going fast. Slowing down was for people who didn’t have anything to do or who had completed everything they wanted already.

Viewing life in this way, it’s easy to see why I’ve moved fast and had a chilly relationship with patience.

I’ve spent a lot of time hustling with the belief that it will allow me to slow down at some point. I rush now so I can move slowly in my ideal future life.

I believe we need to seek the balance between hustling to make things happen right now and embracing the place in between. It’s in this middle place that I know I gain clarity, grow myself, and have more real moments in my parenting, marriage, and work.

I know we all think we have someplace fast we have to go at this moment, but do we really?

If you’ve told yourself the story that you’ve got to go faster or you have to get this done at this moment, have you ever stopped to ask yourself, is it true?

What would be better in your life if you slowed down? If you didn’t buy into the story that ‘it’ needs to happen right now would your relationships, your marriage, your parenting, your work, or leadership be better off? What would happen if you weren’t constantly going so fast?

Once you’ve answered these questions, you might ask yourself: When is a good time to slow down? What is worth slowing down for? I asked myself these questions the day I observed how I resisted the middle place.

Sometimes being patient can feel like we’re giving up on our ambitions. It’s not.

Being patient doesn’t mean surrendering our ambitions. It means surrendering how they happen.

It’s far easier to be patient when you believe the Universe has a plan far greater than your own. Not everything is best when imposed with our timetable.

When we believe this, we trust. We slow down and we create the space to allow the universe (and others) to support us.

That ambition of yours that’s banging on your door, it’s coming. In the meantime, slow down, get comfortable, and embrace the space in between. It’s the good part.

In your corner,

~Rita

https://www.ritahyland.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/03/RMJ-Newsletter-03_2023.png 464 440 Joyce Polintan https://www.ritahyland.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/04/Rita-Hyland-1-line-blue-NOTAG-01.svg Joyce Polintan2023-03-06 16:24:512023-03-06 16:53:48Patience In the Middle Places
Rethinking Getting Things Done (4 Tools to Make Better Choices with Your Time)

Rethinking Getting Things Done (4 Tools To Make Better Choices With Your Time)

getting things done

Listen to the full podcast episode to learn how to stop being motivated solely to getting things done and 4 game-changing techniques to make better choices with your time.

Time management. It’s something we are all too familiar with. I’m sure that if you are reading this right now, you have at some point wondered and tried to figure out “How do I get it all done?”

Here’s a truth for you: the quest to get it all done is not only a high-pressure one, it’s impossible.

Instead, I want to show you how to shift the focus of that quest from a draining one destined for unhappiness to a more fulfilling one that allows you to make better choices with your time and shows you that you are enough no matter how much you get done.

This last month I went on a summer adventure with my son to Slovenia. If you’re like me, perhaps you haven’t heard of Slovenia (until I agreed to this trip). It’s a European country located between Croatia and Turkey. We arrived in the morning a bit jet-lagged and realized we couldn’t get into our hotel room for another 4 or 5 hours.

Conveniently enough, there was an old mini-golf place right outside the back of the hotel. Game on! 

I walked up to the man working the counter and said “Hi, can we get two rounds of golf?” 

He looked up with an unenthused expression at best and slowly said – in an annoyed tone – “First, it’s ‘Hello.’ Now, yes. You can buy two rounds.”

I walked away confused. Had I just been schooled by the mini-golf man? A friend with us assured me that I had not imagined it. I’d thought I’d said hi and she affirmed that I did. So, needless to say, I was taken by surprise and slightly irritated. I was the client after all, right?

All week, I just could not get my first introduction to a Slovenian man out of my mind. I later asked my husband – who travels more than I do – what had happened and he believed the Slovenian man was most likely irritated because I was being like most Americans: moving too fast. 

I replayed the incident back in my mind revisiting what I could have done to take things a bit slower. Throughout the rest of our trip, I remained aware of my pace in comparison to other Europeans. Not only did I not want to annoy more of them, but I was also genuinely curious. 

One day, my friend pointed out that we were the only people among the Europeans walking so fast to get somewhere. And she was right. We were basically power walking whereas no one else was. What was I doing? It was a vacation after all. Where others lingered next to the lake sunbathing, eating, or simply being, we were steadily progressing through activity after activity.

I realized how crazy we Americans must appear to them. 

What is underneath this fast pace of ours?

As I do with most things that don’t feel right, I started looking deeper into it. Here’s what I uncovered…

This fast pace that we’re accustomed to is the byproduct of the pursuit of getting things done. Its primary intent is to maximize productivity and cross things off the list, even in some cases when there is nothing to get done — as when you are waiting for a hotel room in a foreign country at the start of your vacation. 

This really got me thinking. How long have I worked and strived to master my time? How obsessed or passionate have I gotten with crossing things off my to-do list?

After more than half a century of trying and never getting it done, I realized that getting it all done is never going to happen. I won’t ever reach the level of control in my life that I’ve been aspiring to reach for years. But contrary to what you may believe, this realization did not make me more anxious. It did the exact opposite. I felt calm and free. This battle with time no longer existed.

The challenging question was no longer “How am I going to get it all done?” It was now “What do I want to do and what do I want to drop?”

The key to freeing yourself from this struggle and any of its associated anxiety is to accept this truth rather than resist it. We have to surrender to the reality that we can’t do it all and honestly, we aren’t meant to do it all. 

Our challenge isn’t about managing getting everything done or getting everything done that others want from us —-that’s never going to happen —- but to decide what not to do and feel at peace about not doing it.  That is what we need to become better at.

If you want to reconfigure your life around what matters, you have to have this mental mind shift first. Once you accept that and get comfortable with the freedom that it provides, I have 4 concrete practical techniques for a life of more meaning and less struggle:

Do what is most important to you first.

Schedule a meeting for the first hour of your day with yourself for your most important work. My clients refer to this as their (MIW) and protect it as you would an appointment with your most respected client. Leaving your most important work to the end of the day is never a good idea or the right approach.  

Focus on what you have done rather than what you haven’t.  

This technique has been particularly helpful for my clients. It is so easy for us to forget what we have successfully accomplished. Instead of ending your day in a place of lack, I encourage clients to create a list of all they have done.  While you may enjoy crossing things off your to-do list, this technique prompts you to move those same items to your “Done” list to celebrate and move your attention to abundance and success versus only placing your attention on what is missing or their failure to do yet.

Decide to do only 1-3 projects at a time.

Too often we have 7-10 projects going at once and we never complete any which contributes to the struggle and anxiety.  Instead, choose 1 to 3 projects to focus your time on and postpone all the rest until you complete those projects first.  

Create a “drop list.” 

This is the list of those things that you will temporarily or forever drop.  If you find that every year or every month you are writing down the same thing on your list, be willing to release it and drop it. 

When we drop the illusion that we might get to a place where we feel in control of our life – an actual impossibility – we let go of the fast pace and crazy struggle which leads to more self-judgment and shame when we fail. 

With this understanding, it became suddenly clear why anxiety hit new high levels during the pandemic. In an uncertain world that felt out of control, many of us worked even harder to control it. Then people felt defeated and hopeless which created more anxiety. The struggle was endless and I believe it has led to a high rate of anxiety and burnout.  

My dear wise aunt recently gifted me the book Four Thousand Weeks: Time Management for Mortals which completely proved the theory that when the student is ready the teacher appears. 

In it, the author Oliver Burkeman states:

“What matters is learning to make decisions consciously rather than by default or deceiving yourself that with enough hard work you can get it all done.”  

Now, I have only read parts of this book so far, but if you feel like you are in a constant race, like there is never enough time, or you’re wondering if the work-life balance is real (which it is not) then I encourage you to check out Four Thousand Weeks: Time Management for Mortals by Oliver Burkeman. 

Before we wrap things up, I want you to know that later during the week of vacation with my son, we went back to play mini-golf and the same man was there again. I approached him and quite calmly said, “Hello.” I then paused, giving him time to respond.  “Hello,” he said in return.  Once our greetings were completed calmly on both ends, I asked for two rounds of golf.  He handed me two golf clubs and a ball and my son and I played.  I was civil, present, and calm.  Very different from my unconscious habit of being efficient in a culture that promotes efficiency and productivity I am used to. It felt good. It felt better. It was a perspective change and I had a choice on how I would show up. 

This week I encourage you to choose one of the four techniques I discussed and remember: we don’t have time to get it all done, but we have the time to get done what is important if only we choose it.

 

In this episode I share:

  • The life-changing lesson I was reminded of on a summer adventure with my son
  • The real reason why we’re constantly in a hurry and struggling to get it all done
  • 4 transformational techniques to help you get more of what matters done and reevaluate how you equate your worth with your productivity
  • What I believe has led to the uptick in anxiety and burnout throughout our experience in the pandemic
  • How to give yourself more credit and actually celebrate your wins

Resources and related episodes:

  • Tune into the previous episode, Resolving Conflict Like a Pro
  • Episode 100. Leading From a Heart at Peace
  • Grab a copy of Four Thousand Weeks: Time Management for Mortals by Oliver Burkeman
  • If you’d like to be notified of when new podcast episodes are released, you can do so here: Playing Full Out
  • Learn more about the Inside Out Method
  • Connect with Rita on LinkedIn. 

 

Subscribe on Apple Podcasts for more tips, tools, and inspiration to leading the optimal vision of your life, love, and leadership. Remember, a half version of you is not enough. The world needs the fullest version of you at play.

Listen on Apple Podcasts

___

About Rita Hyland

With over 20 years of experience as an executive and leadership coach, Rita helps leaders — emerging and established — excel in corporate and entrepreneurial environments.

Rita believes if leaders were more clear about how transformation really works and more intentional about creating what they want, their impact, success, and influence in the world would be unstoppable.

Through her coaching programs, private coaching, and masterminds, Rita shows leaders how to win consistently and create the impact and legacy they desire.

Central to Rita’s work is the understanding that you will never outperform your current programming, no matter how strong your willpower.

When you learn to use Rita’s proprietary Neuroleadership Growth Code, a technology which uses the best of neuroscience and transformational psychology to hit the brain’s buttons for change, YOU become both the solution and the strategy.

Her mission is to end talented, hard-working, and self-aware leaders spending another day stuck in self-doubt or confusion and not contributing their brilliant work and talent the world so desperately needs.

https://www.ritahyland.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/08/Rethinking-Getting-Things-Done-and-4-Tools-to-Make-Better-Choices-with-your-Time.png 464 440 Joyce Polintan https://www.ritahyland.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/04/Rita-Hyland-1-line-blue-NOTAG-01.svg Joyce Polintan2022-09-01 05:00:042024-03-01 17:03:21Rethinking Getting Things Done (4 Tools To Make Better Choices With Your Time)
Maintaining-A-Calm-Inner-State-When-the-World-Around-You-Is-Not

Maintaining A Calm Inner State When the World Around You Is Not

Maintaining-A-Calm-Inner-State-When-the-World-Around-You-Is-Not

You can listen to the full podcast episode here:

Do you have trouble turning your mind off? When you wake up in the morning, does your brain instantly begin racing as it considers all that needs to get done that day? If the answer is yes, then you are beginning your day like so many others.  It’s in a state of disturbance — not calm — as the anxious thinking begins the second your alarm goes off. It’s no way to live, and yet it’s the norm for society. 

We are living in a time where stress and burnout are more common than not. We’re busy and that is costing us connection with ourselves and those we are here to love and serve. Even in the more quiet moments, it’s challenging to be still and enjoy the peace and ease. 

So, if you’re feeling like you just can’t slow down, I have something for you. Your solution lies in the ability to cultivate and maintain an inner calmness. It’s a superpower, a bona fide magic pill that can absolutely transform your world. There’s even the science to back up its real time benefits. The rising growth-minded leaders who are making change and expanding their impact on a day to day basis have this figured out, and you can too.

In this episode I share:

  • The 3 things that create inner calmness every morning in less than five minutes
  • The scientific benefits of having moments of stillness and documenting gratitude daily
  • Life-changing results that occur when we don’t allow our thoughts to disturb us
  • What to do when you begin to fall out of your inner calm state

More Resources: 

  • The Five Minute Journal 
  • Tune into the previous episode, A Shortcut to Neutralize Worry and Face Down Fear
  • If you’d like to be notified of when new podcast episodes are released, you can do so here: Playing Full Out
  • Learn more about the Inside Out Method
  • Connect with Rita on LinkedIn

Subscribe on Apple Podcasts for more tips, tools, and inspiration to leading the optimal vision of your life, love, and leadership. Remember, a half version of you is not enough. The world needs the fullest version of you at play.

Listen on Apple Podcasts

___

About Rita Hyland

With over 20 years of experience as an executive and leadership coach, Rita helps leaders — emerging and established — excel in corporate and entrepreneurial environments.

Rita believes if leaders were more clear about how transformation really works and more intentional about creating what they want, their impact, success, and influence in the world would be unstoppable.

Through her coaching programs, private coaching, and masterminds, Rita shows leaders how to win consistently and create the impact and legacy they desire.

Central to Rita’s work is the understanding that you will never outperform your current programming, no matter how strong your willpower.

When you learn to use Rita’s proprietary Neuroleadership Growth Code, a technology which uses the best of neuroscience and transformational psychology to hit the brain’s buttons for change, YOU become both the solution and the strategy.

Her mission is to end talented, hard-working, and self-aware leaders spending another day stuck in self-doubt or confusion and not contributing their brilliant work and talent the world so desperately needs.

https://www.ritahyland.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/08/RH-Podcast-Featured-Graphics-78.png 464 440 Candace Maree https://www.ritahyland.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/04/Rita-Hyland-1-line-blue-NOTAG-01.svg Candace Maree2021-08-26 05:00:112024-03-01 17:13:34Maintaining A Calm Inner State When the World Around You Is Not
concrete-strategies-for-reducing-judgement-to-improve-your-life

Concrete Strategies For Reducing Judgment To Improve Your Life

You can listen to the full podcast episode here:

Think back to the last time you cast judgment on another. Maybe it was against your spouse, friend, coworker, boss, or even a stranger on the street. Did you then go to someone else and justify that judgment? How did you feel after doing so? At peace? Likely not. 

Despite our assumptions, peace of mind is never the byproduct of judgment. I know because I’ve learned that lesson the hard way in my corporate career. I realized that my judgment against my company’s decisions was keeping me from getting what I wanted. It wasn’t my company’s fault at all, but my own. Oh boy, was that freeing. Once I wiped out my judgment, I immediately became happier in my role and made the advancements that I had been working towards. 

When we judge others, we are killing our connection to them. It leads to feelings of resentment, confusion, and guilt. It is an act that can destroy a relationship in the blink of an eye, and half of the time we don’t even know that we’re doing it. The truth is, being nonjudgmental is tough. It is something that requires self-awareness and practice. Understanding what judgment is REALLY about will help us to transform it and release it. Only then can we really thrive in our relationships and step into the role of the bold fulfilled leaders we’re meant to be. 

My call to you is not to completely eliminate judgment altogether, but to simply notice when it’s happening and reduce the amount of time we sit in it. Do that, and I guarantee your performance will increase and your impact will amplify.

In this episode I share:

  • How to know when you’re in a judgment zone 
  • The REAL reason that we judge others
  • Thoughtful ways to release your judgments before it causes harm
  • The exact steps to take if you are being judgmental 
  • Why we must be aware of our intentions
  • The crucial difference between judgment and discernment

Join the waitlist for the Bold Leader Life School here. You’ll receive first access to details when they are released!

More Resources: 

  • Emotional Intelligence: Why It Can Matter More Than IQ, Daniel Goleman
  • Tune into the previous episode, Mastering the Art of Connection
  • If you’d like to be notified of when new podcast episodes are released, you can do so here: Playing Full Out
  • Learn more about the Inside Out Method
  • Connect with Rita on LinkedIn

Subscribe on Apple Podcasts for more tips, tools, and inspiration to leading the optimal vision of your life, love, and leadership. Remember, a half version of you is not enough. The world needs the fullest version of you at play.

Listen on Apple Podcasts

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About Rita Hyland

With over 20 years of experience as an executive and leadership coach, Rita helps leaders — emerging and established — excel in corporate and entrepreneurial environments.

Rita believes if leaders were more clear about how transformation really works and more intentional about creating what they want, their impact, success, and influence in the world would be unstoppable.

Through her coaching programs, private coaching, and masterminds, Rita shows leaders how to win consistently and create the impact and legacy they desire.

Central to Rita’s work is the understanding that you will never outperform your current programming, no matter how strong your willpower.

When you learn to use Rita’s proprietary Neuroleadership Growth Code, a technology which uses the best of neuroscience and transformational psychology to hit the brain’s buttons for change, YOU become both the solution and the strategy.

Her mission is to end talented, hard-working, and self-aware leaders spending another day stuck in self-doubt or confusion and not contributing their brilliant work and talent the world so desperately needs.

https://www.ritahyland.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/07/RH-Podcast-Featured-Graphics-74.png 464 440 Candace Maree https://www.ritahyland.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/04/Rita-Hyland-1-line-blue-NOTAG-01.svg Candace Maree2021-08-05 05:00:162024-03-01 17:14:04Concrete Strategies For Reducing Judgment To Improve Your Life

Mastering The Art Of Connection

You can listen to the full podcast episode here:

The single most important skill that you will ever need is not one that is explicitly taught to you, yet it’s ranked #1 in determining how long you will live along with being responsible for your happiness in your personal and work life. The ability I am referring to is connection. To be clear, I’m not talking about a connection that you make on LinkedIn, Facebook, or Twitter from behind a computer screen or iPhone. I define connection as a trusting, authentic, meaningful interaction that gives energy to another person.

So, why does it matter so much? Simply think about the most defining moments and important relationships in your life. These things all happened because of a deeper connection with another person. Connection makes people feel seen, heard, and felt. That’s something all of us want. In order to experience these relationships, we need to give as much as we take. Today I’m taking you on a journey where you will learn how to take your connection factor to the next level and make a bigger impact in return.

In this episode I share:

  • The data and research-proven benefits of connection 
  • My 4 observations of connection based on personal experience and science
  • Ideas to deepen your connection with ease
  • How to eliminate the barriers to connection

Join the waitlist for the Bold Leader Life School here. You’ll receive first access to details when they are released!

More Resources: 

  • Tune into the previous episode, Re-Entering Your Own World Without Sacrificing Your Pace
  • If you’d like to be notified of when new podcast episodes are released, you can do so here: Playing Full Out
  • Learn more about the Inside Out Method
  • Connect with Rita on LinkedIn

Subscribe on Apple Podcasts for more tips, tools, and inspiration to leading the optimal vision of your life, love, and leadership. Remember, a half version of you is not enough. The world needs the fullest version of you at play.

Listen on Apple Podcasts

___

About Rita Hyland

With over 20 years of experience as an executive and leadership coach, Rita helps leaders — emerging and established — excel in corporate and entrepreneurial environments.

Rita believes if leaders were more clear about how transformation really works and more intentional about creating what they want, their impact, success, and influence in the world would be unstoppable.

Through her coaching programs, private coaching, and masterminds, Rita shows leaders how to win consistently and create the impact and legacy they desire.

Central to Rita’s work is the understanding that you will never outperform your current programming, no matter how strong your willpower.

When you learn to use Rita’s proprietary Neuroleadership Growth Code, a technology which uses the best of neuroscience and transformational psychology to hit the brain’s buttons for change, YOU become both the solution and the strategy.

Her mission is to end talented, hard-working, and self-aware leaders spending another day stuck in self-doubt or confusion and not contributing their brilliant work and talent the world so desperately needs.

https://www.ritahyland.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/06/RH-Podcast-Featured-Graphics-74.png 464 440 Candace Maree https://www.ritahyland.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/04/Rita-Hyland-1-line-blue-NOTAG-01.svg Candace Maree2021-06-24 05:00:312024-03-01 17:14:12Mastering The Art Of Connection
what-i-learned-about-relationships-from-being-on-oprah

What I Learned About Relationships From Being On Oprah

what-i-learned-about-relationships-from-being-on-oprah

You can listen to the full podcast episode here:

Several years ago I was on Oprah. Not for the reasons that I had always dreamed of, but I was on Oprah nonetheless. Pretty cool, right? Well, let’s just say that the experience did not go as I expected. What I learned that day is something I will always hold with me. It changed my perspective on how to build healthy relationships and what I needed to take responsibility for. 

Sometimes we think we’re giving our absolute best to someone and doing everything right yet our relationship is not going smoothly. We know rich human connection to others is what gives us purpose.  Success without also maintaining our relationships can leave us drifting and feeling alone. It’s therefore crucial that we take the time and effort to get it right. Relationships are being challenged right now for so many reasons. Today’s episode is an invitation to actively look at who you are being in a relationship in which you are struggling. Too often our own self-deception holds us back when a terrific relationship is completely possible. There is a pathway to clean up and cultivate that relationship, and I am going to show you how you can do that starting today. 

In this episode I share:

  • The wake-up call I experienced as a guest on Oprah and the question she asked that shook me to my core
  • Why you don’t need another list of things to DO to improve your relationship
  • The ONE question that will offer the antidote for any struggling relationship
  • 5 actionable steps to achieve your ideal relationship in business and life 
  • 4 habits to eliminate in your daily conversations 

Join the waitlist for the Bold Leader Life School here. You’ll receive first access to details when they are released!

More Resources: 

  • Tune into the previous episode, How To Use The Power To Shine
  • If you’d like to be notified of when new podcast episodes are released, you can do so here: Playing Full Out
  • Learn more about the Inside Out Method
  • Connect with Rita on LinkedIn

Subscribe on Apple Podcasts for more tips, tools, and inspiration to leading the optimal vision of your life, love, and leadership. Remember, a half version of you is not enough. The world needs the fullest version of you at play.

Listen on Apple Podcasts

___

About Rita Hyland

With over 20 years of experience as an executive and leadership coach, Rita helps leaders — emerging and established — excel in corporate and entrepreneurial environments.

Rita believes if leaders were more clear about how transformation really works and more intentional about creating what they want, their impact, success, and influence in the world would be unstoppable.

Through her coaching programs, private coaching, and masterminds, Rita shows leaders how to win consistently and create the impact and legacy they desire.

Central to Rita’s work is the understanding that you will never outperform your current programming, no matter how strong your willpower.

When you learn to use Rita’s proprietary Neuroleadership Growth Code, a technology which uses the best of neuroscience and transformational psychology to hit the brain’s buttons for change, YOU become both the solution and the strategy.

Her mission is to end talented, hard-working, and self-aware leaders spending another day stuck in self-doubt or confusion and not contributing their brilliant work and talent the world so desperately needs.

https://www.ritahyland.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/04/RH-_-Podcast-Featured-Graphics-64.png 464 440 Candace Maree https://www.ritahyland.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/04/Rita-Hyland-1-line-blue-NOTAG-01.svg Candace Maree2021-04-22 05:00:502024-03-01 17:17:54What I Learned About Relationships From Being On Oprah

Hi, I’m Rita!

I’ve guided individuals, leaders and teams over the last two decades through 1000’s of challenges —coaching them to build businesses and careers that thrive and lives they love.

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