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145: The Hidden Cost Behind Having It All Together: What High-Performers Rarely Admit But Deeply Feel

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In 2019 – Dropping the Made Up Rules

Happy New Year, friend!

As we start 2019, I had a big aha that I want to share with you. I thought you might appreciate it.

It came to me when I was in a discussion with my husband– a funny, interesting and quirky man I adore.

Anyway, we were talking about a topic, the specifics of which I honestly forget, and I pointed out that something he insisted upon was a MADE UP RULE.

I wasn’t judging him. I didn’t need him to change his mind.

I simply wanted it to be recognized that whatever decision we made was going to be based upon a MADE UP RULE.

A MADE UP RULE is an “interpretation” one calls “fact.”

Then (as I normally do when I see someone do something I don’t think I ever do), I asked myself, “Where do I do this in my life?”

That is, think something has to be a certain way for no reason other than my mind says it’s so.

Then it hit me.

As much as I help others highlight and Roto-root MADE UP RULES (think limiting beliefs), I was making up rules as well.

I wrote them down:

  • Don’t talk too much about what you do and how you do
  • Don’t talk about your business on your personal Facebook page
  • Don’t let people know when you have spots available to work with you

There are more…but they all relate to this one big rule:

HIDE YOUR TALENT. HIDE YOUR BUSINESS. HIDE YOUR LIFE.

Now, I don’t do this wittingly. What’s more I realized my rules are very specific.

For example, take the first rule. I’ll drop everything and be all over Facebook…IF it is to help others. In December you couldn’t keep me from posting on multiple community Facebook pages daily (sometimes more) in order to help local Homeless Students.

Again, I didn’t see this until I saw my husband doing it and called myself on it as well.

Well no more. These rules don’t serve me or the people I am here to help.

Like my favorite song by Hugh Jackman in the movie, The Greatest Showman, “From Now On”…

Anytime you find yourself hesitating to take an action that moves your business or your life forward ask yourself:

  1. What rule am I following?
  2. Does that rule serve me?

If it doesn’t serve you, then drop the rule. Or at least acknowledge, “I’m making a choice based on a made up rule.”

In the spirit of dropping ‘made up rules,’ I’ll be in your inbox next week with a way to work with me in 2019. I know the results my clients have when they work with me and I want you to experience it too.

Happy 2019— dropping the made up rules!

To make sure you don’t miss out on any other high performance tips and tools, as well as personal stories Rita shares, be sure to sign up for Rita’s Monthly Journal below.

~ Rita

xo

https://www.ritahyland.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/04/Dropping-the-made-up-rules-Rita-Hyland.png 464 440 Rita Hyland https://www.ritahyland.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/04/Rita-Hyland-1-line-blue-NOTAG-01.svg Rita Hyland2019-01-03 14:52:202020-04-07 14:39:32In 2019 – Dropping the Made Up Rules

Four Steps to Better Decision-Making Without the Second Guessing

You might have noticed at the gym this morning there were less people than a week ago.

I’ll be honest.

It’s tough for me to watch.

It’s tough because I did this more years than I’d like to count…

…identify my resolution or goal for the year, just to make that pretty picture or magic number appear in my head…then within days start eating what I didn’t want, have my great ideas fall to the bottom of my to-do list and my chief initiative take a backseat to what I had to get done for others.

Here’s the secret most still don’t know…

Strategy and will power are only 20% of the solution.

Don’t get me wrong. Your willpower is strong, but it doesn’t hold a candle to your psychology.

No amount of strategy, hustle, willpower or intellect will out-perform your psychology.

It’s not a goal-setting, willpower or time management problem when we don’t follow through on our desires.

It’s a mindset problem which affects how we make decisions.

This is why today I’m committed to leading the kind of personal “deep dives” my clients need to make the best decisions for themselves.

Decisions shape our destiny.

But if we’re making decisions from our fear-based mind, we’re destined to lead unfulfilling days…and lives.

So whether you’re choosing…

Salad or sandwich?

Hour at the gym or staying in bed?

This chief initiative or that?

Accept the job offer or not?

Leave this industry or stay?

Let go of my business or stick with it?

Say “yes” to that trip or not?

…you’ll want to run it through this four-step decision-making process.

Here’s how to make better decisions that are right for you.

1. Trust your GPS. You know the truth by the way it feels. Every one of us has an internal system which holds the key to our wisdom, gut and intuition. Trust it. If your body contracts, your breathing shortens or you use a lot of words to make your decision, the decision is not true for you. Conversely, you know your choice is true for you when your body expands, your shoulders relax instead of tighten and your breath is calm. You hold your best answers. Trust yourself.

2. Look back to the future. You remember the Christmas classic, The Christmas Carol, right? This is where Scrooge has a dream which allows him to see his life in the past, present and future. Try it. Go out 20 years into the future you and imagine looking back. Ask yourself, “Will I regret not saying ‘yes’ to this choice? Will I regret not achieving, experiencing or at least having tried?”

3. Place your fear on trial. First declare your fear, worry or concern around the decision. When we speak our fear, it doesn’t have as much power. Once you acknowledge the opposition, you can challenge it fairly. Most often we build cases to confirm our fear. Instead, make a case for why your fear is unfounded. Ask yourself, “What evidence is there that this fear is un-true or not entirely true?” A woman who was making a big decision to return to a former employer, said her fear was she didn’t know anything about the company she had worked at prior for 22 years. She’d shared with me the assessment and comments her old trusted colleague who was still at the organization had given her. When I asked herself if the fear of not knowing enough about the company was true, she knew it wasn’t. She was able to discern that she was using her fear to keep her from making the move she was called to. There will always be a level of uncertainty and ambiguity in every decision. Be fair. Challenge the fear-based stories you may have made up and unwittingly made into facts. Ask yourself, “Is this true?”

4. Assess the Joy Factor. I believe the purpose of life is joy…and to serve. This may run into opposition to how you currently live — functioning, grinding it out, getting it done. The question to ask in order to make better decisions is, “Does this bring me joy?” If it doesn’t, allow for the 3 minutes of discomfort to say “no,” instead of the 3 hours, 3 months or 3 years of pain that the “yes” may entail. Assessing and making decisions based on whether your choice brings you joy allows you to raise your standards and expand your boundaries. There’s no time to settle for less.

Finally, in any decision I always consider, “Will this help me grow?” I put a lot of value into my personal growth and showing up to the best version of me. I want to make sure when I get to my last day that I gave it my all…that I made a difference. If something supports my personal development, it positively contributes to my decision.

It’s not about what we’re given but what we choose to generate…love, harmony, joy, confidence, and full engagement.

Make sure your decisions are consistent with your heart’s desires in 2017. When you do, I promise your life will flow!

With love and gratitude,
Rita

https://www.ritahyland.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/01/four-tips-to-better-decision-making-rita-hyland.png 464 440 Rita Hyland https://www.ritahyland.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/04/Rita-Hyland-1-line-blue-NOTAG-01.svg Rita Hyland2017-01-11 17:34:232020-04-09 21:05:14Four Steps to Better Decision-Making Without the Second Guessing

Create Your Own Success Formula with a Post-Game Review

I hope you’re excited to set some big goals for this upcoming year…

…goals that stretch you, scare you, and force you to get creative.

That is where the fun begins. It’s also where you’re at your brightest!

Am I right that you have something that’s calling you? You’ve known it for some time?

You’re eager for real progress this year–personally and professionally.

Your desire has become a MUST now.

And you want to START and STAY strong until its realized.

But you also wonder, where do you begin?

If this is you, here’s your first step before you do any goal-setting or planning.

It’s an exercise I do every year and my clients do too.

It’s always enlightening. Usually profound.

It’s been responsible for income doubling, career changing, new business building, bolder action, and relationship transformation.

In short, it is one of the most powerful tools to amplify progress, happiness and success…and this is important…simply.

Why? Because it’s completely based on your own proven success formula…not someone else’s.

It’s a Post-Game review. Here’s how to do yours:

Step 1. Write down all of your “wins” and successes over the past year. List 10-20
achievements or experiences that make you feel good. Whether they’re large or small, own
your best moments this past year.

Step 2. Now write down the mistakes you made this past year. What things didn’t go as well as you
would have liked? You may even feel sick just thinking about them. Write them down. Remember,
those who don’t make mistakes, don’t create. Consider it a good thing to have this list.

Step 3. Next to every win and mistake, write down the “lesson” or the “gift” from each. Nothing is a
coincidence nor happens without reason or some value. What is the hidden meaning or opportunity
from the experience? (Example: Mistake – I didn’t hire the help I needed to complete my project from
the start. I took seven extra months and lost an opportunity, money, time and peace of mind. Lesson: Assess
where I need help to leverage my time, opportunities and ease; ask for and hire help.

Step 4. Look at your lessons and gifts. What common theme do you see from both your wins and
mistakes? Write down the 2-3 lessons that strike you as being most important. These may include
things you want to keep doing or stop doing. These are the keys to your success formula for the new
year!

***

Here’s an extra tip and this is key: don’t do this in your head. Write it down. You’ll thank me for telling you this later.

Click here to print the Post-Game Review exercise.

And then? Share it with your network. Your family, friends, and even your staff. This is exactly the kind of thing they’re looking for. They’ll thank you!

Wanting for you all that you want for yourself in 2017! Happy New Year!

Talk soon!

~Rita

https://www.ritahyland.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/12/Create-Your-Own-Success-Formula-Rita-Hyland.png 464 440 Rita Hyland https://www.ritahyland.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/04/Rita-Hyland-1-line-blue-NOTAG-01.svg Rita Hyland2016-12-31 21:11:182020-04-09 21:03:52Create Your Own Success Formula with a Post-Game Review

FREE DOWNLOAD: The Step-By-Step Sensational Summer Blueprint

Four sets of wide-eyes looked at me in surprise. Their mouths were silent.  Their expressions were a combination of “Wow, mom! We did all that this summer?”  and “I can’t believe you saw it!”

We were out to breakfast at a local diner just days before returning to school after summer vacation.

I was recounting from a list the “amazing” experiences we’d had over the previous 86 days of summer.  I’d jotted the moments I’d observed in a small 4″ x 3″ notebook I’d kept close for easy additions.

As I continued sharing my list, I wasn’t sure if the incredulous expressions I saw on my husband and children’s faces were from disbelief that I was present enough to scribe our moments…or because they were stunned by the volume and compound effect of acknowledging our simple pleasures.

Regardless, they were grateful.

*****

For many years, summers flew by me. Late August would come and I’d think, “where did it go?”

This particular summer I was spooked by a mammogram that necessitated me returning for a second screening.  I vowed if I made it through, I would be more fully engaged, calm and playful this summer.  “Please God, give me the chance to prove it.”

I got the chance.  I wanted to follow through on my word. So I created a few simple steps for my knock-it-out-of-the-park summer.

I’m sharing the steps with you here in the STEP-BY-STEP SENSATIONAL SUMMER BLUEPRINT.

Each year I return to it. It’s a short, easy and fun process, but don’t misinterpret that for insignificant or not powerful.

Dozens of fully engaged, joyful and fulfilling summers have resulted from using the exact steps I lay out here.

*****

We didn’t do anything extraordinary that summer.  No trip to the Grand Canyon or rock-climbing at Kilimanjaro. In fact, the furthest we traveled was to Wisconsin.  The best food…s’mores.  The best moments…watching a movie at a drive-in theater and being together drinking root beer floats lakeside in the heat of July.

No, there was nothing out of the ordinary that summer, but a lot of ordinary things joyfully experienced that made it great.

Wouldn’t it be fun to have your own magical summer? The one you’ve always dreamed about.  Start here…PRINT the STEP-BY-STEP SENSATIONAL SUMMER BLUEPRINT.

Do it alone or with the kids. It’s never too early to introduce the power of intention setting, self-reflection, and gratitude as a way of living.

Be sure to add your own colorful splash.  Cheers to your best summer yet!

~Rita

xo

P.S.  I’d love to hear about the moments you create. You can write me here at [email protected]. If you’d like to find me in the Facebook world, you can do so right here.  And you can find me here on Instagram.

 

https://www.ritahyland.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/06/free-download-step-by-step-summer-blueprint-rita-hyland.png 464 440 Rita Hyland https://www.ritahyland.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/04/Rita-Hyland-1-line-blue-NOTAG-01.svg Rita Hyland2016-06-07 22:58:462020-04-09 21:04:24FREE DOWNLOAD: The Step-By-Step Sensational Summer Blueprint

Three Steps to Streamline and Fulfill Your Optimal Day at Work and Home

If you’re like most people I meet you’re passionate about your career or mission AND you have a robust personal life (or your kids do), that keeps you struggling to fit in your priorities.

Perhaps you’ve had thoughts like these…

“I’m smart, highly functioning, and have achieved a decent level of success. Why can’t I follow through on what I say I want?”

“Why do I start off with so much enthusiasm, but then get easily distracted?”

“Why do I so rarely get to what’s most important during my day?”

In your weaker moments you might even hear a stray, “What’s wrong with me?”

The answer is there’s NOTHING wrong with you.

The reality is conflicting priorities evolve through the normal process of work and life.

How we stay focused and true to ourselves is the key to living the life and work we love. It’s the difference between Distracted Living and Fully Engaged Living. We’ve all experienced both.

Last week I wrote about creating your Life Vision to provide a framework for your Strategic Life Plan. If you missed it, you can get the five question framework for your Intentional and Strategic Life Plan here.

Once you have a clear vision it’s easier to make decisions on what to say “yes” and “no” to in order to stay focused and aligned.

So here’s the next step. It’s KEY but often undervalued:

Identify what needs to be EDITED, ELIMINATED, AND ADDED to create our optimal life vision.

The laws of physics tell us that two things cannot share the same space. In order to add something, we must be willing to let go of another.

Let’s do a life review…

1. Do my days hold up my life vision and plan?

Are your daily actions consistently supporting your optimal vision? For example, if you’re seeking to re-engage in your marriage or parenting, does your work (or the way you approach it) support your desired vision? If you’re creating a new product, writing a book or leading a capital campaign at work, does how you manage your time, energy and inbox support your desires?

2. Does my mindset hold up my life vision and plan?

In other words, do your thoughts, feelings and beliefs support what you want to be, do, or experience? If you’ve noticed a pattern of not completing what you start, what beliefs or thoughts are running against you?

For example, yesterday when I spoke to a widow with four children who’s beginning a new job, she said she wanted to show up to what she’s capable of both for herself and the mission of the organization. The pattern she’s noticed in the past is that she begins a job with immense enthusiasm but doesn’t perform with the same vigor once she’s there. Through a line of questioning, she recognized a faulty belief in her current mindset which would never allow her to fulfill her potential at work.

The next question that’s beckoned…

WHAT MUST CHANGE?

1. What must I EDIT to support my life vision and plan? Your answer, of course, depends on your personal vision. Some basic ideas include: get additional support with the house cleaning, block two hours every morning for your highest value work, use a service like Amazon Prime to deliver regular household items instead of last minute runs to the store, check emails at 2-3 pre-determined times daily, know your daily priorities for the following day and have your day’s schedule blocked before you go to bed the night before.

If it’s your mindset your’re editing like the woman above, it might be a perspective shift. For example, you may have previously led from “My responsibility is to take care of others’ happiness and progress first.” If your vision is to live your fullest version of you, you may choose to edit your belief to “When I take care of myself others thrive.”

2. What must I ELIMINATE to make room for what I want?
What must I stop doing to create the time, energy and space to make my desires real? (Examples include, clear out existing clients, delegate open-ended projects, resign from local board, drop extra hours at work.)

Maybe it’s something bigger. Maybe you see that you need to give up the current business, particular product or even career you’ve worked on for years in order to make room for what you really want.


3. What must I ADD to support my vision and plan?
Examples may include, hire a live-in nanny, hire out the yard work, hire a personal assistant, set up office in a spare bedroom, get a mentor, coach or personal trainer.

After you make as complete a list as you can imagine, go back and assign dates or timing by when you want to edit, eliminate, or add these things.

If you find yourself resistant and saying, “But Rita, I can’t edit, eliminate or afford to add anything,” ask another question. “If I knew that my life, how I love, and my contribution to the world would suffer because of my resistance to letting go of something, what would I change?” I learned long ago that it is our resourcefulness and not our resources that holds the greatest impact in re-directing our lives. You notice you have more resources around you when you are resourceful.

So act before you thing you’re ready.

Don’t make the mistake of staying confused, overwhelmed or over-extended any longer. Reduce and streamline.

Finally ask yourself, what is the one thing I could change TODAY that would bring me closer to my vision?

Each of us has a unique set of talents the world needs. Our responsibility is to create the conditions and mindset to share these gifts brightly!

Sparkle on, my friend! Sparkle on!

~Rita
xo

https://www.ritahyland.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/04/three-steps-to-streamline-fulfill-optimal-day-work-home-rita-hyland.png.png 464 440 Rita Hyland https://www.ritahyland.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/04/Rita-Hyland-1-line-blue-NOTAG-01.svg Rita Hyland2016-04-13 17:28:102020-04-10 17:30:14Three Steps to Streamline and Fulfill Your Optimal Day at Work and Home

Five Questions to Frame Your Strategic Life Plan

I recently returned from a family trip in Washington DC. Nine of my family members toured the Nation’s Capitol together for four days.

Some might consider the trip aggressive. Others, even crazy. Our group of nine ranged in age from 7 to 73. We toured along with hundreds of thousands who’d come to see the Cherry Blossoms, the White House, and to fulfill their eighth grade field trip this spring break.

The amazing thing was what could have been disastrous was…DELIGHTFUL!

We had fun, were fully engaged, learned and experienced EXACTLY what we wanted.

I reflected on what made it work. It’s something many in life tell me they’re missing…we had a plan.

We never felt unfocused or scattered.

We were never at odds with our priorities for the trip.

We didn’t make things super important that were not.

Why? Because that’s what happens when you have a plan.

****
Many of us have plans for vacations and strategic plans for business. We have house plans, financial plans, and key purchasing plans, but few take the time to create a Life Plan.

Instead we tend to move around in a hectic world trying to get to a blurry “there.”

Without a plan we spend our days multi-tasking, reactive, scattered and easily distracted.

In short, without a plan and clear focus we don’t consistently experience living our best self at work or home.

We believe we’re “working hard at it,” but quietly we’re frustrated and confused.

WHY A LIFE PLAN?

A life plan allows you to…

o consistently take action to progress to your goals and aspirations.
o stay focused on your priorities (and know when you’re off).
o gain traction.
o be fully engaged, present, enthusiastic,and confident as you travel because(and this is key) YOU KNOW WHERE YOU WANT TO GO.

A plan allows you to get there with greater ease and more joy because you know your end point. Think…

PLAN –>FOCUS –> CONFIDENCE –> GOAL

WHY SO MANY MAKE THE MISTAKE OF NOT HAVING A PLAN…

o We were never taught how to craft a life plan. Strategic Life Planning 101 was never offered at my school.
o We don’t commit the time or FOCUS to craft a plan.
o Creating a life plan is not easy. Let’s face it. It can be really tough to do this sort of work by yourself with no one to bounce ideas off.
o And finally, the biggest reason I find that we don’t have a plan…we simply don’t know what we want.

You can’t create a plan to an elusive and blurry destination.

Until you know what you want, whether you want A or B or F, you can‘t create a plan. You need a precise address for your GPS. Not a vague idea.

Here’s a five-question framework to answer what you want from your life or work.

Your strategic life plan will answer these questions…
1. What do I want to create?
2. What do I want my life and work to look like in eighteen months?
3. What is the one ambitious goal that excites me to work on daily?
4. Why do I want to create this experience or idea?
5. Who will be positively impacted by me creating my ambition?

So where do you want to end up? We all want to enhance and grow our marriages, work, business, parenting and other important relationships? What does that look like to you?

You must know what to plug into your GPS to get there.

Lean into and imagine that scene where you’re living your best version of you. See it clearly. Get in touch with how you feel when you’re there.

Go further now. Try it on. Change the details, you don’t like.

Don’t make the mistake of racing to create a plan without having answered these questions. Once you answer these questions, you have a framework for your strategic life plan.

We didn’t see everything in Washington DC on this trip. We did, however, see what we wanted. The group of nine is already leaning in and designing our next one.

Be among the 2% of individuals who craft a vision and plan for their fulfilling life.

Begin by answering the five questions above. Get the support you need.

Something funny happens when you get clear and make the decision to advance your life to the next level. Often what was once a case of a “Floundering Life” or “Fine Life” turns to the “Fulfilled & Fabulous Life” you’ve always dreamed about.

I look forward to seeing what you create and being a part of the world where you’re bringing your best work and life to play!

In my next blog I’ll will share how to edit, cut or re-position to focus your life and make space for a life plan that works for you.

~Rita
xo

https://www.ritahyland.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/04/five-questions-frame-strategic-life-plan-rita-hyland.png.png 464 440 Rita Hyland https://www.ritahyland.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/04/Rita-Hyland-1-line-blue-NOTAG-01.svg Rita Hyland2016-04-06 15:05:172020-04-10 17:28:14Five Questions to Frame Your Strategic Life Plan

How to Give EXACTLY What Your Spouse Wants

My husband came home with a dozen red roses on Valentine’s Day a few years ago.

I was thankful but not ‘feeling the love.’ Before you decide I’m an ungrateful spouse, hear me out.

I love flowers. I really do. But for me love is best communicated through words of affirmation.

Gary Chapman, the author, of the bestselling book, The Five Love Languages, describes this as my ‘love language.’

The premise is that each of us has a primary love language.

The five love languages are quality time, words of affirmation, gifts, acts of service, and physical touch. We all prefer one.

When we identify this particular love language in our spouse and also in ourselves, we can use this knowledge to enhance our relationship.

For example, you may truly love your spouse but if you say “I love you” when your spouse’s love language is ‘acts of service,’ she will not feel it.

Your spouse will register your love if you get her car washed, do the late soccer practice pick-up or replace the burned out light bulb in the kids’ rooms.

Still further, you may feel you are slaving away all day demonstrating your love for your spouse (acts of service), but if your partner’s love language is physical touch, both of you will be frustrated.

The worst part is when you or your spouse’s love language is repeatedly missed over time, the relationship inevitably struggles.

By identifying your spouse’s love language and ‘speaking’ it, you communicate directly: “I see you. I love you. You matter,” –in a way that is received.

Why is this important?

Because in all the world there is no greater gift than to feel loved.

Being loved for who you are is the quickest way to heal the past and inspire one to reach their greatest potential in the future.

This Valentine’s Day ask your partner what his or her love language is. Then communicate “I love you” in the way that is received.

Next, let your partner know what your love language is. For example you can say, “I realize nothing means more to me than when we spend quality time together.”

Don’t expect the other to know what you want. Be specific…and you will feel the love.

If this seems like a courageous conversation, have it. Your relationship’s success is in direct correlation to the number of courageous (interpret “vulnerable”) conversations you have.

Flowers may be the icing on the cake, but they don’t translate into love to me. My husband knows saying “thank you” for holding down the fort while he is abroad or for the extra lengths I went to create dinner mean so much. That awareness pays dividends in any marriage.

Here are some ideas if your partner’s love language is…

Quality time: Make a date to go out to dinner or walk in the park.

Words of affirmation: Say or write in a card, “I love the way you support our family.” “Thank you for giving your best in that difficult situation.”

Gifts: Give flowers or tickets to a game.

Acts of service: Fill the window washer fluid in the car. Replace the light bulbs throughout the house.

Physical Touch: Give massage or a hug when she walks in the room.

The best way to know another’s love language is to ask them directly. Conversely, it’s good to let another know yours. As I say often…hope is not a strategy.

Happy Valentines’ Day!
XOXO
Rita

Rita Hyland Coaching, LLC
www.ritahyland.com

https://www.ritahyland.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/04/how-to-give-exactly-what-your-spouse-wants-rita-hyland.png.png 464 440 Rita Hyland https://www.ritahyland.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/04/Rita-Hyland-1-line-blue-NOTAG-01.svg Rita Hyland2016-02-12 20:18:292020-04-10 17:28:45How to Give EXACTLY What Your Spouse Wants

The #1 Step in the Fool-Proof Process to Create the Work and Life You Want

We all do it at times. We make our choices for what we want based on a current reality, that is, the natural “next level,” OR in response to what is being offered to us.

We manipulate what we REALLY want into what we think we can get instead.

As a result, we skip the #1 step in the fool-proof process to getting anything we want- CHOOSE.

I’ll give you an example. A client is being sought after to fill a new position in the organization. When asked, “What do you want?” he states, “I’m going to see what they offer me and go from there.”

This waiting to choose based on logic or what others decide almost always guarantees you will limit who you become and what you receive!

See all kinds of things happen when you choose what you want based on your deepest desires and your highest vision. First, when you CHOOSE (regardless of what the current reality rationally dictates) you begin to show up in the world in a way that attracts what you want. You commit. Like a thoroughbred with blinders, you pursue your target.

Second, the universe or God or nature, whatever you want to call it, conspires to support you. I see it all of the time in my own life and in the lives of my clients.

Physiologically this is explained by understanding that our brain works to map out a path to the picture it sees in the mind. Brain science confirms this. Deliberately choosing that picture is, therefore, pivotal to creating what you want.

So here’s the point I want to make: don’t wait to choose what you REALLY want based on…

What the company decides
What the neighbors prefer
What seems logical or rationale
What you think you can have
Or what is being offered

YOU CHOOSE. YOU DECIDE.

Bottom line: Whether you’re a corporate leader, an entrepreneur, or full-time mom, your first step in getting what you really want is to choose it. You can create whatever you choose to be!

What the client above really wanted was the opportunity to have a global role within the company, with a limited amount of travel (sounds crazy, I know), with a salary 35% higher than a similar position had previously been paid and to receive options in the company.

He chose and saw this before it was offered, AND he got it all. But then that’s just the way it works.
Complete the following what I REALLY want in my business… my relationships… my finances… my health…my life is…

Some people make the mistake of not thinking they have the time or money to choose what they want. They don’t schedule the time to reflect. If you haven’t done this yet this year, schedule 45 minutes in your calendar this week to CHOOSE.

(Your future self will thank you.)

Wishing you all that you wish for yourself,
~Rita

https://www.ritahyland.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/04/the-number-one-step-in-the-fool-proof-process-to-getting-what-you-want-rita-hyland.png 464 440 Rita Hyland https://www.ritahyland.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/04/Rita-Hyland-1-line-blue-NOTAG-01.svg Rita Hyland2016-01-15 16:24:192020-04-10 11:09:51The #1 Step in the Fool-Proof Process to Create the Work and Life You Want

What Holds You Back From Making the Progress You Want

If you’re like me, you’re feeling excitement as you start toward your shiny new goals and aspirations this year. You may also be feeling some hesitancy about your big plans.

After all, you’ve been working on some of these goals for months — maybe years– and you want more than anything to follow through and make meaningful progress this year.

In my line of work I’m frequently asked this all-or-none question.

“Rita, if you had to drill it all down to THE ONE MOST IMPORTANT THING to fulfill big dreams and plans, what is it?

My answer is simple: Don’t go it alone. Get support.

Many of us get stuck or give up because we believe we should fly solo. Then we crash and burn.

Unfortunately, I see too many bright, highly-functioning, and talented individuals make this mistake.

In Extraordinary Living 101 (an imaginary class I wish was taught in Kindergarten), the cardinal rule is have a team.

Unfortunately, I didn’t learn this early. I was taught to be independent, strong, and self-reliant…to an extreme. I under-valued support and getting help. And it cost me TIME…MONEY…and FRUSTRATION. It also took a toll on my confidence and happiness.

The very worst part is…it didn’t have to be. When I finally invested in a teacher, a coach, in months what had eluded me for years was my reality!

Fast forward to today, I surround myself with support in all areas of my life…business, health, motivation, strategy, home and environment. Every year my team expands and by no surprise so does my progress and fulfillment.

This past year I created a Mastermind group of people I admire in my industry. I have my own strong coach to keep me focused, hold me accountable, and be my cheerleader. I’m in a Women’s Circle of like-minded ladies in my community who meet monthly to support each other in the splendid and tough times. And that’s just a fraction of my team.

Einstein said, “What a person does on his own, without being stimulated by the thoughts and experiences of others, even in the best cases, is rather paltry and monotonous.”

Notice he doesn’t provide caveats to this. It doesn’t matter your age, title, level of experience, gender, achievement, or financial picture. We all DESERVE and THRIVE with the support of others. Our highs are higher. Our lows less of a blow and more temporary.

The best in the world have teachers, mentors, coaches and teams to support them. (Even Jesus had 12 disciples to help him spread his message and support his mission.)

I can almost hear the resistance, “But I don’t have the money for help or a team.”

My advice: Start valuing and putting your team in the same category as your computer or smart phone. You wouldn’t go without either of those, would you? Investing in your team is that important too.

Your team doesn’t have to cost anything. Create your own Mastermind Group. Start a Circle. Find your Tribe. Ask someone to be your Mentor.

Be resourceful. Complete the sentence: The person I need to reach out to today to progress me or my project is..

Now make that call.

Yes if I had to do it all again, I’d have asked for support sooner and faster.

It’s why I designed “IT’S MY YEAR.” It’s what I wish I had some 17 years ago, and it’s what my team and I use every year to reach new heights. It’s the step-by-step training to turn your shiny new ideas into plans and reality.

I know the results my clients get when I work with them, and I don’t want you to miss out.

Traveling towards our goals and aspirations takes work and commitment. But it’s always done more quickly and with less pain when we do it with others.

Are you still wondering who to reach out to today? Watch the video. Then enroll in our latest class of “IT’S MY YEAR.” I know you can do it. I’d love to be a part of your team.

Let’s do this together!

~Rita
Xo

https://www.ritahyland.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/04/what-holds-you-back-from-making-progress-you-want-rita-hyland.png.png 464 440 Rita Hyland https://www.ritahyland.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/04/Rita-Hyland-1-line-blue-NOTAG-01.svg Rita Hyland2016-01-05 16:26:572020-04-10 17:29:14What Holds You Back From Making the Progress You Want

10 Questions To Make 2016 Magical and Intentional

It’s here! Are you ready?

You may not know this about me. I get uber-excited about resetting, designing and planning the New Year. I schedule at least I one day to do nothing but visualizing and planning.

Why? Because years ago at the advice of a mentor, after a year of struggle and disappointment, I wrote down my dream year and created a plan.

It ranged from starting my own business, to having a meaningful relationship, to tripling my income, to traveling with friends, and being confident and happy about my present and future.

In essence, I imagined things that had never been but wanted to experience.

I wrote it all down. I created a plan. This is where I began.

Skip to the end of the story: everything I imagined and planned became real! Even what I’d previously thought was impossible.

There are a lot of things you might consider essential for creating a 2016 that rings, “this is my year,” but from a getting-results and living bold, rich, and fulfilled point of view, nothing is as important as digging deep so you can reach higher.

There are lots of things that are more urgent…

Not a lot of things are more important.

So to help you create a fulfilling and rich (in all ways) kind of year, here are ten questions to get you started.

1. What were your biggest accomplishments of 2015?

2. What lessons have you learned from those accomplishments?

3. What were your biggest disappointments of 2015?

4. What did you learn from those disappointments?

5. What do you want more of in your relationships, career, and
business in 2016?

6. What would it feel like to accomplish or experience these?

7. What would it cost you if you didn’t?

8. If you knew for a fact that this was “your year” to (fill in the
blank) what bold decision do you need to make right now to support
your goal?

9. If you knew for a fact this was the year you finally (fill in the
blank) what two bold action steps would you commit to take today?

10. What are the two to three projects you want to focus and create a plan for today?

Some of us will drift our way through another year. I’ve done it.

Others will deliberately create their year by making and implementing a plan. I’ve done that too.

What I know for certain is the ride is much more fulfilling and exciting when you do it with a vision and plan…and a team of support.

I’ve decided this year to commit to being the strongest, most conscious, healthiest, deliberate and alive me I’ve ever been. But my decision isn’t enough.

My actionable goals, plan, focus, consistent action, mindset and accountability must follow to manifest this dream.

You can make 2016 an extraordinary year too! But have you decided and are you ready?

My advice is to give yourself whatever support you need to guarantee -not just hope–that this is YOUR year.

If it hasn’t occurred yet, what will you do differently this year?

If you don’t have the answer, then who can you get to help?

The doors to “It’s My Year” are now open.

If you’re looking for the step-by-step training, inspiration and accountability to transform 2016 into your knock-it-out-of-the-park year, watch the video. Then fill out the information to be a part of a the next class of “It’s My Year.”

Let’s get started on doing the impossible! Join me.

Together let’s leap into 2016 bold and strong!

In the meantime…Happy New Year!

~Rita

https://www.ritahyland.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/04/10-questions-make-2016-magical-intentional-rita-hyland.png.png 464 440 Rita Hyland https://www.ritahyland.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/04/Rita-Hyland-1-line-blue-NOTAG-01.svg Rita Hyland2016-01-01 18:40:592020-04-10 17:29:3110 Questions To Make 2016 Magical and Intentional
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Hi, I’m Rita!

I’ve guided individuals, leaders and teams over the last two decades through 1000’s of challenges —coaching them to build businesses and careers that thrive and lives they love.

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