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mindset management

Your Mindset Management Practice For Higher Performance

mindset management

Listen to the full podcast episode to learn about the science-backed practice that has not only changed my life but also the lives of countless people over the last two decades. This is something you can’t ignore if you want to achieve that great goal you identified for this year and write your new future.

Many of us place a lot of pressure on ourselves to perform extraordinarily every day.  But there’s something important we’re missing.  We don’t prioritize training our mindset to perform at those extraordinary levels.

When we know that how we think determines how we react to things, it becomes our #1 priority to manage our thoughts.  Not doing so is like setting out to build a house with a sand shovel.  We wouldn’t do it.

We expect to experience worry-free, confident, high-performing days but we’re either unaware of how to leverage our mindset or we lack the discipline to manage our mindset for the high-performance we expect. 

As a result, too often our sloppy, unmanaged thoughts leave us feeling… stressed that we can’t get it all done, doubting we have what it takes to deliver, critical and short with others, exhausted by what we see as limited progress and second-guessing we will see our existing success to fruition. 

Recently my family and I watched several Netflix documentaries about seasoned sports players and teams. They highlighted the strengths and vulnerabilities of athletes in a variety of sports—golf, basketball, football, etc. I am always fascinated by the psychological performance and rituals that these top-performing athletes practice to perform at such high levels.

They know that how we think about things drives our behavior. That performing extraordinarily begins with having a high-performance mindset. So they place a premium on their mindset management. 

It got me thinking —  why is it that those of us in other industries don’t place that same level of attention on our mindset management? Why do leaders in other industries not apply that same level of consistency and discipline to their mindsets that athletes do?  

Messy, unbridled mindsets too often leave us feeling… 

  • Stressed over endless to-do lists
  • Wondering if we have what it takes to achieve our goals
  • Exhausted and burnt-out because the pressure is high and progress is slow
  • Unfocused because we’re trying to do too much at a high level

These feelings result in average performance — at best!

So what can be done to develop a high-performance mindset?  

Here’s a favorite short mindset management practice that you can use daily to set yourself up for success. The best part is that it can be done in less than five minutes. 

Each prompt has a specific benefit backed by brain science to help you improve your well-being and performance. 

It’s what high-performing athletes and modern day leaders use to show up and perform their best every day when it matters most.

Managing our mind isn’t something we can only employ some of the time. Everyday we face unexpected challenges and things outside of our control.  This is when being able to manage our thoughts becomes invaluable.

Here’s how to do your 5-minute Morning Mindset Management Practice.

Ask and answer each of the following five prompts.

  1. What are 3 things I’m grateful for? Sitting in the answer to this question directly affects the hypothalamus. The hypothalamus is a part of the brain that influences sleep, hunger, and stress. When brains were studied while a subject was experiencing gratitude, they found the subject’s hypothalamus was being influenced in real-time. When you are focusing on what you’re grateful for, you create new neural pathways for expansion and advancement.
  2. What 3 things would make today great? From a scientific perspective, this activates your brain’s Reticular Activating System or RAS. What happens is when you direct your RAS for what to look for, it sets out to find it — without you even being aware of it. You’ve likely experienced when you’ve decided to buy a certain car and suddenly you see the car is everywhere.  There was a famous study in the NBA on basketball players who weren’t hitting their free throw shots. The underperforming athletes were broken into three groups. The first group did not practice their free throws for a week. A second group was told to practice exactly 100 free throw shots every day. And a third group was told not to physically practice but to imagine perfect free throw shots every day. The third group, which only imagined hitting shots perfectly,  improved their performance the most. The brain receives 11 million bits of information per second, but it can only process 33 bits per second. The 33 it processes are the 33 it is told to look for.  It seeks to fill your order. 
  3. Who am I going to be today? Think: Who do I need to be in order to perform as I want? We typically make to-do lists. But the doing is directly influenced by who we’re showing up as. Your way of being informs the actions you will take so you can perform at the level you want. So what qualities are you going to bring to your day? It’s the Be — Do — Have model of performance that high-performers use. Many of us were taught that doing is where performance comes from, but in reality it’s your identity which is a reflection of your thoughts and ways of being that directs and does the heavy lifting. 
  4. What am I open to receiving? Too often we don’t realize that we really are not open to accepting what it is we say we want. Remember change is uncertain and that can be uncomfortable to our mind.  By answering this prompt, you prepare your mindset to notice and accept the opportunities before you. 
  5. What am I going to give? Maintaining the flow between giving and receiving is critical. Living a purpose-driven life is important to us all. We all want to matter. By clarifying what you will contribute, you align yourself with your purpose, passion and proficiency. In turn, you make a difference.

What happens when you learn to manage your mindset? You will…

  • Have the endurance necessary for big challenges and initiatives
  • Be able to navigate unexpected challenges 
  • Improve your ability to handle criticism which you will definitely encounter as a result of being in the arena 
  • Executing tasks easier because you’re not dealing with limiting thoughts
  • Focus on the most important things 
  • Managing problems and know when to let of anything that’s out of your control

High performance begins with self-awareness.

Our feelings and actions are directly impacted by our thoughts. Your mindset management practice is too important to leave to chance! It drives everything you do.

Don’t spend another day putting pressure on yourself to perform extraordinarily without providing yourself with the mindset that sets you up for success. 

In this episode, I share:

  • What the sports industry and high-achieving athletes can teach us about mindset management and performance
  • What’s keeping us from performing at the levels we think we “should” be able to
  • A 5-minute morning mindset management practice every leader can use to see immediate improvement in well-being and performance 

Resources and related episodes:

 

Subscribe on Apple Podcasts for more tips, tools, and inspiration to lead the optimal vision of your life, love, and leadership. Remember, a half version of you is not enough. The world needs the fullest version of you at play.

Listen on Apple Podcasts

___

About Rita Hyland

With over 20 years of experience as an executive and leadership coach, Rita helps leaders — emerging and established — excel in corporate and entrepreneurial environments.

Rita believes if leaders were more clear about how transformation really works and more intentional about creating what they want, their impact, success, and influence in the world would be unstoppable.

Through her coaching programs, private coaching, and masterminds, Rita shows leaders how to win consistently and create the impact and legacy they desire.

Central to Rita’s work is the understanding that you will never outperform your current programming, no matter how strong your willpower.

When you learn to use Rita’s proprietary Neuroleadership Growth Code, a technology that uses the best of neuroscience and transformational psychology to hit the brain’s buttons for change, YOU become both the solution and the strategy.

Her mission is to end talented, hard-working, and self-aware leaders spending another day stuck in self-doubt or confusion and not contributing their brilliant work and talent the world so desperately needs.

feelings

Feeling Your Feelings So They Don’t Run You

feelings

Listen to the full podcast episode to learn about the science-backed practice that has not only changed my life but also the lives of countless people over the last two decades. This is something you can’t ignore if you want to achieve that great goal you identified for this year and write your new future.

 

What if you could change the unwanted patterns of behavior and nagging feelings that you may feel you are stuck with? 

Let’s face it. On a daily basis we can experience a LOT of big emotions. Life is full of them. Yet we’ve grown up in a culture which tends to encourage rising above, compartmentalizing and dismissing uncomfortable feelings altogether. 

A few years back I was struggling with anxiety and I used the two practices that I am going to share with you today to overcome my anxiety and kick some bad habits that I wasn’t aware were a result of my not allowing myself to feel certain emotions. Habits that were having a negative effect on my health and on my most important relationships.  

The problem is when we don’t tend to our feelings, they start to run us. We may make choices to avoid the feelings in ways that usually become addictions and also that cause us more stress, wreck our relationships, inhibit our peace of mind as well as limit any chance of high performance.

What I learned is this:  

If you run from your feelings, your feelings will run you. 

I can say that now, but I wasn’t aware of it at the time. 

What frees us and allows us to improve our well-being, most important relationships and performance is actually being able to feel our feelings instead of denying them.  

Before I share the practice to help you release the intense, often reactive and big feelings that may be unknowingly wreaking havoc without you knowing it, let’s first address some common myths and misconceptions about emotions.

You can’t use logic to figure your way out. 

The reality is that we can’t outrun our emotions. We can’t figure our way out of them. They demand to be acknowledged and felt.

This can be very tough for fast-driven leaders who are used to getting things done in a linear, logical, strategic manner. Feeling feelings isn’t logical. It likely won’t feel efficient.  

Logic, rational thought and understanding can only go so far to return you to the peace that, as a leader, I imagine you want right now. 

What’s really important to know is that feelings drive the show. And that logical thinking can’t do much about it.

~~~~~~

What we resist persists.

You know better than to fight against a wave’s current. Its strength will knock you down. 

The same is true of our emotions.  We can fight them but eventually, the fight of ignoring or pretending they don’t exist will have its way with us.  

Denying that we are feeling something, only makes the feeling amplify and is exhausting. It’s liberating to acknowledge what we are truly feeling so that they don’t unwittingly run us. 

In other words, if you don’t take the time to be honest about the feelings that are leading to unwanted patterns of behavior—the emotions will continue to run you.

Feelings can move through you once you acknowledge them.

The funny thing about feelings is that once we recognize them for what they are and feel them—their mission is complete. And just like riding a wave, it comes toward you, moves through you, and keeps on going.

We often fear feeling the feelings because we worry that we’ll be overcome by them. But when we acknowledge them we no longer are in a fight and they release.  

Now here’s the practice. There are two ways to approach it to help you move through the emotions that are keeping you stuck

Notice. The next time you’re having an uncomfortable feeling — pause. Notice the feeling. You may be most aware of it when you’re about to engage in a pattern of behavior that attempts to numb out the feeling (e.g., grabbing a drink, overeating, or stepping out to do more work). Stop and feel the feeling for 90 seconds. Simply breathe and be with the feeling. It takes two forces to fight. 

Journal. Grab your journal and write whatever it is you’re feeling. Take two to five minutes and write—don’t edit. Allow the feelings to come up and onto the paper.  

In this episode, I share:

  • Why our resistance to feeling our feelings runs us
  • How to calm your nervous system and let go of the coping mechanisms that are no longer working for you
  • An actionable daily practice to prevent you from reacting to work and life’s stressors
  • How to uproot behavior patterns (including addictions) that no longer serve us 

Resources and related episodes:

 

Subscribe on Apple Podcasts for more tips, tools, and inspiration to lead the optimal vision of your life, love, and leadership. Remember, a half version of you is not enough. The world needs the fullest version of you at play.

Listen on Apple Podcasts

___

About Rita Hyland

With over 20 years of experience as an executive and leadership coach, Rita helps leaders — emerging and established — excel in corporate and entrepreneurial environments.

Rita believes if leaders were more clear about how transformation really works and more intentional about creating what they want, their impact, success, and influence in the world would be unstoppable.

Through her coaching programs, private coaching, and masterminds, Rita shows leaders how to win consistently and create the impact and legacy they desire.

Central to Rita’s work is the understanding that you will never outperform your current programming, no matter how strong your willpower.

When you learn to use Rita’s proprietary Neuroleadership Growth Code, a technology that uses the best of neuroscience and transformational psychology to hit the brain’s buttons for change, YOU become both the solution and the strategy.

Her mission is to end talented, hard-working, and self-aware leaders spending another day stuck in self-doubt or confusion and not contributing their brilliant work and talent the world so desperately needs.

resistance

Four Ways To Win Your Battle With Resistance

resistance

Listen to the full podcast episode to learn about the science-backed practice that has not only changed my life but also the lives of countless people over the last two decades. This is something you can’t ignore if you want to achieve that great goal you identified for this year and write your new future.

Understanding Resistance

Have you ever been super inspired by an idea and set out to create it with passion, only to find yourself confused when you can’t seem to move it forward?  Maybe it’s a new habit you want implemented or a masterpiece you know you are meant to build. Whatever it is, when you sit down, maybe you take a call that comes in or you decide to respond to one or two important emails, or maybe you return a text regarding the kids’ carpool tonight.  Then you say, “I’ll get to that later or maybe tomorrow.” What’s just happened?  You were battle-rammed by Resistance.  

Resistance is that feeling of not wanting to do something that you know is good for you or that you decided previously you should do, but that you don’t do for one of a million reasons.  It’s the purpose-driven, passionate leader’s biggest saboteur! That’s why today we’re taking it on. In this episode you are going to get several ways to win the battle against resistance when it strikes — and it will.  It’s inevitable. As someone who is here to crack open your highest levels of contribution, happiness, and impact, there is nothing more important than knowing what to do when resistance wages a fight against your creativity and best work.  

An Example of Resistance in Action

Let’s say you are finally set up to move forward with your most important work. Maybe it’s connecting with some people you’ve had on your list about a new opportunity or a milestone you’ve set for yourself, like an article or book you’re writing, maybe it’s even a leadership meeting you want to prepare for! Whatever it is, you get ready to move on it, but you get distracted by a quick call or checking social media, and then you say, “I’ll get to it later.” 

Whatever the reason for the resistance, it all ultimately comes down to the chattering, multi-tasking brain that distracts us and takes our attention in a new direction. 

Resistance is the force behind procrastination, distractions, and excuses; it derails your progress and leaves you wondering, “What’s wrong with me?”

Here’s the thing. There’s nothing wrong with you.  The brain is doing what it is meant to do — keep you from harm. You can see it’s point. Inventing a new future is potentially harmful, but your greatest work lies in your ability to win against this foe. 

Resistance is something that I have struggled with all my life. Most people do but they don’t notice or won’t acknowledge it, so they aren’t even aware it’s happening. We don’t realize that we have these invisible factors, and we put blame onto things — inaccurately diagnosing the problem when really, it’s resistance. 

When you recognize resistance for what it is, you’re better equipped to deal with it. Instead of blaming external factors, you can address the battle that’s taking place inside.

Why It’s Important to Overcome Resistance

A lot of times we don’t even realize that we are giving into the resistance. We don’t acknowledge that we have allowed it to beat us. But as hard as it may be to admit, we do just that, and like many other smart, extraordinary people, too often we get hijacked by it.

The reason it’s so important to know how to overcome it is because it is responsible for sabotaging and holding back so many lives, countless masterpieces, and important work — and your important work cannot be sacrificed. 

You probably know that my joy and the reason I am here is to crack you open to your highest levels of service, happiness, and impact. As a leader, I suspect there’s some part of you that enjoys doing that, too. You want to serve others at your best so that you help others to do the same. Your ability to do battle with resistance and not allow it to get in the way of innovative ideas and five-star problem-solving relies on your ability to acknowledge resistance when it shows itself and move beyond it.

Key Insights About Resistance

So there are a few things you must know about resistance before I provide you with a few of my favorite ways to overcome it. The interesting thing is that no timer, app, book, or other hack will fix the problem of resistance because it is that insidious. It’s a cunning beast and it will do anything to keep you from your most important work!

Here are some key insights about resistance:

  1. Inevitability: Resistance is wired into our nature. It’s bound to show up, so don’t be surprised when it does.
  2. Indestructible: You can’t eliminate resistance; it always returns. Your best strategy is to recognize it and know you have a choice.
  3. Impersonal: Resistance isn’t a judgment of your worthiness or abilities. Its only job is to distract you and keep you from moving forward with your creativity and change. No need for blame and shame. Resistance is completely impersonal.
  4. Separate from You: Remember, you are not resistance, and resistance is not you. Name it what it is and separate yourself from it. If you identify with it, you will be sunk.

Unless we have a firm grasp of these characteristics, we will fall into a long arduous journey with Resistance.  

Ways to Combat Resistance

Now, let’s equip you with five powerful mindset shifts, what I call, “scripts to flip,” to confront resistance head-on. These are exactly what it will take to bring forth your life-changing work, leadership, and life.

1. Get Approval from the Inside: Recognize that your self-worth doesn’t depend on external validation. Your “approval cup” is already full. It’s Divinely filled and overflowing.  It’s when we loan it out and believe it’s getting filled from the outside that get into trouble and resistance sneaks in.

When we acknowledge that there is no cup of approval that needs to come from outside, there’s nothing that another person has to say to you, hand to you, or acknowledge you in order for you to already have your cup of approval filled, Resistance’s power starts to disintegrate. What will happen is that you will be able to make a choice in the moment with this flip of the script, with this clarity of mindset, to get back into your most important work. It’s very subtle, but most of us don’t realize that a lot of times what’s keeping us from moving forward on a very deep level is some fear that we won’t be approved, that the work that we’re doing won’t get the acknowledgment we want.

2. Don’t Avoid Failure, Embrace It: Accept that failure is part of the journey, and accept it in advance! The sooner you openly acknowledge that you might fail, the sooner you will move through Resistance and its emotional hold will drop.  Failing quickly and failing often on a smaller scale will help you get to where you want to go faster by learning what doesn’t work. Failure is not personal. Feel the emotion but move on. Try this for yourself next time you resist sitting down to do some important work or to make that call.  Just say, “I’m open to failing. I’m open to failing on this.” Notice the battle is lifted.  You can’t fight without two in the fight.

3. Shift to a Service Mindset: This is something I learned from Gabby Bernstein that has helped me get out of a morning battle with Resistance on more than one occasion. Repeat the affirmation, “I am here to be truly helpful.” Remember, your leadership role is about serving others. When you focus on helping, resistance loses its grip. Remember that you are in a position of leadership not to achieve for yourself but for the greater good — to serve others. Nothing gets me off the sidelines faster than responding to help someone. When I remind myself that I am here to be truly helpful, my mind moves from overthinking and controlling circumstances to wondering how I can elevate the person in front of me.

Stop asking how good you are and start helping people. Do it in good faith and that will work. If you’ve ever been on a sailboat, you get on without seeing the wind that is going to take you. You have blind faith that it is there and it will move the boat. It’s the same thing working for others in good faith.

Consider this quote from Gandhi, “The best way to find yourself is to lose yourself in the service of others.”

If you have something that can help a friend, share it. Remember that you are in a position of leadership for the greater good — to serve others.

I recently heard it said that you don’t go to a party to have fun, you go to BE the fun.  What this means is don’t go to get something — go to add to it. It can be easy to attend meetings and conferences with the intention to take something from the experience, but when you go with a mindset that I am going to contribute something — you will find the rewards are far greater. 

Think about what you can bring. Own that you do have something to bring. Then, bring it!  Wanting more for others than you do for yourself is the best way to get out of your way and move beyond Resistance. Know why you do what you do. Having it written down so that you can read it in your moments when you face Resistance, will certainly help you get on your way again.

4. Don’t Think, Act: Steven Pressfield wrote an amazing book entitled Do the Work. It’s for anyone who wants to create or innovate anything, whether an artist, entrepreneur, visionary, or leader. His point is our last script, don’t think — act!

Pressfield recommends staying stupid. He says the three dumbest guys were Charles Lindbergh, Steve Jobs, and Winston Churchill. Why? Because any smart person who knew how impossible the tasks they had set before themselves would never have begun. So how do you do that? Don’t overthink. Act. When you are in the belly of resistance, keep going. Go like you’re in the ocean pursued by a relentless whale! Keep swimming.

Nobody climbed Mt. Everest one day after getting the idea. They started small and took one small step.  And then the next. Resistance will make sure you see the giant elephant you want to eat in front of you. Take the next smallest action if you must, but just act. 

Individuals overcome and create big things by a series of small steps. Ask yourself, what is the one smallest thing I am willing to do? Maybe it’s to sit and write for ten minutes. Maybe it’s to open the Google Doc file. Maybe it’s to simply look up the telephone number of the contact you want to make. Whatever it is, take the smallest next action. 

Now, let’s break down these mindset shifts into actionable steps:

  1. Internal Approval: Remind yourself daily that you don’t need external validation. Your worth is intrinsic. Your Cup of Approval is Divinely filled. 
  2. Embrace Failure: Be open to the possibility of failure. It’s a stepping stone to success. Say, “I am open to failing” to release the emotional hold.
  3. Service Mindset: Shift your focus from self-doubt to helping others. Say out loud, “I am here to be truly helpful.” 
  4. Don’t Overthink. Take Action: When resistance strikes, act immediately, even if it’s a small step. Don’t overthink; just do it.

You Have the Power to Beat Resistance

You have the power to create momentous change around you. When you take back your power from Resistance and remember that there is nothing in your circumstances (not your bank account, the people who are not showing up on your team like you want, or that hairy situation that just revealed itself) that is holding you back — it’s your internal resistance who is the enemy! 

And now you know how to move your attention and energy in the right direction. Make these mindset shifts and take these actionable steps daily, make them your routine, and you’ll enjoy greater flow and success in all you do.  

Your call to action is to acknowledge when you’ve slowed down and resistance is in the room. And then to do battle with it. Use your tips and tools to move forward and go forward at your best level of leadership.

We have a lot of new things on the horizon so that you can get more of the time, success, and well-being into your life and leadership. To guarantee you aren’t missing any of our tips, tools, and inspiration, be sure to sign up at ritahyland.com to receive notification of when a new episode is released as well as additional items I haven’t shared in the podcast! 

Remember, a half version of you is not enough, the world needs the full you in play!

In this episode, I share:

  • What is resistance?
  • Recognizing resistance
  • Why as purpose-driven leaders we must overcome resistance
  • Key insights about resistance
  • How to beat resistance with actionable steps

Resources and related episodes:

Subscribe on Apple Podcasts for more tips, tools, and inspiration to lead the optimal vision of your life, love, and leadership. Remember, a half version of you is not enough. The world needs the fullest version of you at play.

Listen on Apple Podcasts

___

About Rita Hyland

With over 20 years of experience as an executive and leadership coach, Rita helps leaders — emerging and established — excel in corporate and entrepreneurial environments.

Rita believes if leaders were more clear about how transformation really works and more intentional about creating what they want, their impact, success, and influence in the world would be unstoppable.

Through her coaching programs, private coaching, and masterminds, Rita shows leaders how to win consistently and create the impact and legacy they desire.

Central to Rita’s work is the understanding that you will never outperform your current programming, no matter how strong your willpower.

When you learn to use Rita’s proprietary Neuroleadership Growth Code, a technology that uses the best of neuroscience and transformational psychology to hit the brain’s buttons for change, YOU become both the solution and the strategy.

Her mission is to end talented, hard-working, and self-aware leaders spending another day stuck in self-doubt or confusion and not contributing their brilliant work and talent the world so desperately needs.

happiness

What We Were Taught About Happiness That Isn’t True

happiness

Listen to the full podcast episode to learn about the science-backed practice that has not only changed my life but also the lives of countless people over the last two decades. This is something you can’t ignore if you want to achieve that great goal you identified for this year and write your new future.

What are you overthinking or trying to control right now that is getting in the way of your happiness today? What would happen if you let go of the overthinking and the control that too often hinders you? Recently, I had the opportunity to spend a week in Jamaica with my family, where I was reminded of valuable lessons from the people I met there.

In this episode, I share the message I received and provide you with an important tool to shift your energy towards living in the present moment and becoming someone who no longer must manipulate the world to feel ok but instead is happy even when things don’t follow the plan. In a world where positivity can be a struggle, let’s explore how you can improve your state of mind without relying on external circumstances.

Getting away with the family to connect

I recently returned from a vacation with my family to Jamaica. I was late planning the trip; I realized that with three kids ending school at different times over the course of an entire month and with very different activities scheduled, it was important that I get our fivesome to step away from our schedules, if only for a few days. 

I had been given the recommendation to go to Jamaica by a client who discussed the pros of a direct flight and the beauty of the island, and I jumped on it. As we approached our descent, I realized how little I knew about the place I’d booked, and reminded the family that we all needed to keep an  “open-mind.”

When we made it to the hotel, I saw that it was going to be ok. Everyone would be fed and have a clean place to sleep. Then I got the news: Jamaica was just beginning its rainy season. I looked at the weather forecast for the week. Yep. Rain was indeed forecasted every day, holy crud! I started to think about how I could navigate this.

Everything is a blessing

Every time we were at an activity, I’d ask the waitress serving breakfast, the men beautifying the landscape, or the staff signing us up for our tubing excursions, “Do you think it’s going to rain? How long will it last?” The response was always calm and in direct opposition to my own lower frequency.

On our second sunny morning when we went to rent the boat for tubing, I asked the same question of a Jamaican man helping us.  He had a grounded presence about him. He gave me his full attention. I asked, “Do you think it’s going to rain?  When it rains here, how long does it typically rain?” Then he looked up as if to check the skies — and slowly in his Jamaican accent said, “I do not know, but everything is a blessing.”

“Everything is a blessing.” He was right. For over two days the skies had been sunny, the weather beautiful, my family enjoying the adventures, and I was missing the moment. 

How often do we resist or try to manipulate things in our life — even the ones over which we have no control?  How much energy do we expend on living in worry about a future that may not even happen? And how much joy do we lose resisting what is. Certainly, if it rained there was nothing I could do about it.  

It took a few days to break my conditioned pace of trying to line up everything as I thought would be best.  I reminded myself that in reality, I have no idea what is best. How many times have I thought something ‘shouldn’t’ have happened, only later to find out it gave me EXACTLY what I’d needed and wanted from the start?

It turns out that the afternoon rains (more like torrential downpours) did occur. They provided a great chance for our whole family to go back to our living quarters and hang out — which was exactly the intention of the trip.

There are things that do not go the way we think is best — everyday. We miss flights. The project is not received well. We’re late to our kid’s baseball game because we didn’t see the time change. Then there are the bigger things like jobs ending, businesses faltering, relationships ending or we grow tired of doing what we’ve been doing.

Jamaican culture reminded me once again of the importance of slowing down and looking for the backdoor gift or alternative opportunity that is presenting itself.  I saw that savoring the present moment is a choice. That what I’d been taught about happiness isn’t true.  It’s not when all of my external circumstances align. 

The constant rush we often find ourselves in leads to unnecessary stress and prevents us from fully experiencing life’s richness. By adjusting our pace and letting go of attempting to control it all and instead trusting it will all be ok, we heal our nervous systems and create space for what truly matters. Life isn’t a race, and there’s no scorekeeper. 

The importance of embracing the moment

Throughout my conversations with the Jamaican people, I noticed their ability to stay present and appreciate life’s blessings, even amid struggles. They were evidence that life is as we choose to see it.  

Our perspective determines how we perceive difficulties. Whether it’s minor inconveniences or significant setbacks, there is always an opportunity for growth and gratitude. When we accept that everything is a blessing, even during tough times, we can tap into a deeper sense of happiness and inner peace.

What are you struggling with that in your mind is not going as you desire it?

I know it can be hard in the midst of going through whatever the struggle is, to feel happy. Let’s be clear, it’s not about lying to yourself or trying to fake yourself out. Instead, it’s about asking “What blessing am I not choosing to see? What opportunity am I missing?” 

So often our ego is running the show and telling us what it thinks is right. It’s inflated with its opinion. When we recognize that we have always been ok, we currently are  ok and that we will always be ok, we raise our state of mind.  

So how do we shift to a higher state of mind…

We can choose to see life as a blessing by embracing the present moment and quieting our noisy minds. 

We can take time for silence each day to allow us to harness our inner wisdom and navigate life with greater clarity.

We can prioritize our well-being and connect with our Higher Self in order to transcend the distractions of the outside world and find joy within.

We can remember that everything is a blessing if we choose to see it as so.

Happiness is not a destination but a state of being found within ourselves

I was reminded once again that happiness isn’t a faraway thing. It’s not complicated and hard to get.  Happiness isn’t only when it’s sunny, but can be had even when it rains. 

In this episode, I share:

  • How every situation, whether it aligns with our desires or not, can be seen as a blessing.
  • Simple habits to help find happiness within ourselves rather than relying on external conditions, rewards, or circumstances by spending time in silence, harnessing the mind, and not succumbing to the noisy world or one’s own noisy mind.
  • A way to see challenges and struggles as opportunities for personal growth by shifting perspectives and being open to new possibilities, and as a result, we can navigate through them and find a better day ahead.

Resources and related episodes:

 

Subscribe on Apple Podcasts for more tips, tools, and inspiration to lead the optimal vision of your life, love, and leadership. Remember, a half version of you is not enough. The world needs the fullest version of you at play.

Listen on Apple Podcasts

___

About Rita Hyland

With over 20 years of experience as an executive and leadership coach, Rita helps leaders — emerging and established — excel in corporate and entrepreneurial environments.

Rita believes if leaders were more clear about how transformation really works and more intentional about creating what they want, their impact, success, and influence in the world would be unstoppable.

Through her coaching programs, private coaching, and masterminds, Rita shows leaders how to win consistently and create the impact and legacy they desire.

Central to Rita’s work is the understanding that you will never outperform your current programming, no matter how strong your willpower.

When you learn to use Rita’s proprietary Neuroleadership Growth Code, a technology that uses the best of neuroscience and transformational psychology to hit the brain’s buttons for change, YOU become both the solution and the strategy.

Her mission is to end talented, hard-working, and self-aware leaders spending another day stuck in self-doubt or confusion and not contributing their brilliant work and talent the world so desperately needs.

strong coach

How To Hire a Strong Coach In Your Corner

strong coach

Listen to the full podcast episode to learn about the science-backed practice that has not only changed my life but also the lives of countless people over the last two decades. This is something you can’t ignore if you want to achieve that great goal you identified for this year and write your new future.

 

Do you feel like life is going too fast? Are you tolerating things?  Perhaps you’re going through a transitional phase, or, as a leader, you understand more than ever that it’s lonely at the top.

Imagine how great it would feel to have someone by your side, offering support, and lifting some of that weight off your shoulders. No matter who you are and what stage of your career, business, or life, every one of us deserves to have a strong coach in our corner.

In this episode, I’m sharing what it’s like to receive professional coaching when it’s a good time to hire a coach, and how to identify a strong coach that’s right for you. I’m giving you the gritty and remarkably relevant information you need to know and what those driven to excel are doing differently, so you can achieve your own success. 

Not all coaches are the same.

With varying levels of experience, expertise, methodologies, and styles, the sheer number of options can sometimes feel overwhelming. However, the one common goal shared by all coaches is to help you achieve results more efficiently and with less difficulty than if you were doing things on your own.

When looking for the right coach, knowing what results you want from the process is imperative to determine which type of coach you need.

The Business Coach

A business coach helps you set goals, identify opportunities, and grow your business. Unlike a consultant or boss, a coach holds you accountable and draws out your expertise, experience, and insights. They enable you to see beyond the day-to-day tasks to better understand your business.

The Health Coach

A health coach helps you achieve greater energy and vitality. They assist in developing a strategy for optimal health and hold you accountable. There are various subsets within this category, such as weight coaches and strength coaches, so clarity about your specific goals will make it easier to identify the right health coach for you.

The Personal Life Coach

A life coach is dedicated to helping you overcome both visible and invisible limitations. They assist in increasing self-awareness and eliminating repetitive self-sabotaging patterns or blind spots holding you back. The goal of a personal life coach is to align your life with your priorities, ensuring that all areas of your life are in balance. 

The Leadership Coach

A leadership coach helps you develop the skills to stay motivated, even in challenging times, and positively influence those around you. Personal life coaching and leadership are interconnected because you can’t lead beyond who you are. The extent to which you expand yourself and increase self-awareness directly correlates with your leadership growth, enabling you to support others in reaching higher performance levels.

So, what exactly does a strong coach do?

Coaches are guides to help bring forth your wisdom, your expertise, your existing levels of intelligence, and the resources you already have. They help you achieve higher-level results with less pain and in less time than if you did it alone. Strong coaches engage you in a way that encourages you to show up as a higher version of yourself, to think bigger, and to unleash your potential.

There are five qualities of a strong coach:

  1. They focus on and get real results for their clients.
  2. They support and challenge you in equal measure.
  3. They listen and ask questions that evoke new ideas and expose opportunities you wouldn’t have otherwise.
  4. They have their own coach and continue to grow themselves.
  5. They reflect you accurately, rather than project themselves and their own values onto you. 

The most important criteria for finding the right coach is not who has the most training, certifications or the most followers but who is the best fit for you.

To start your search, reach out to your place of work or ask others if they’ve worked with a coach. When conversing with a coach, ask questions about their methodology or style to determine if it aligns with your goals. Do they meet in the way you want to meet? Do they have one-on-ones or group coaching? Who is their ideal client?

How to know it’s a good time to hire a coach:

  1. You feel stuck. Some category of your life is off, and you can’t progress using the same means as you have in the past.
  2. You’re ready to get to the next level. You’re already successful but want to elevate or expand your abilities.
  3. You’re in a position of leadership. You need new ideas, thoughts, perspectives, and someone to challenge you.
  4. You’re in a transitional period. This can be a divorce, a birth, a death, or a number of things.
  5. You want to change a specific area of your life. This can be a habit or something that is holding you back.
  6. You’re experiencing burnout. The way you live isn’t sustainable, or you’re indecisive and unable to take action.
  7. Fear is getting the better of you. It’s thwarting you and not allowing you to move forward.

Many believe they should be able to do everything on their own. However, this mindset can be a hindrance to personal growth and fulfillment. Putting yourself into a silo limits progress, enjoyment, and overall experience. Our brains often resist change and uncertainty, leading us to believe that things won’t work out. To overcome this, we must ask ourselves, “What if it did work out?” and explore the potential positive outcomes to move past stagnation and allow ourselves to move forward.

Hiring the right coach for you can be one of the most rewarding and life-changing experiences. Let this be the year you come alive and think bigger about yourself and what you have to add to every aspect of your life.

In this episode, I share:

  • What it’s like to receive professional coaching and how to determine which type of coach you need to achieve your goals
  • The five characteristics of a strong coach and the #1 criteria for choosing the best coach for you
  • The significant signs that it’s time to hire a coach and how you can overcome the mental block of needing to do everything on your own

Resources and related episodes:

Subscribe on Apple Podcasts for more tips, tools, and inspiration to lead the optimal vision of your life, love, and leadership. Remember, a half version of you is not enough. The world needs the fullest version of you at play.

Listen on Apple Podcasts

___

About Rita Hyland

With over 20 years of experience as an executive and leadership coach, Rita helps leaders — emerging and established — excel in corporate and entrepreneurial environments.

Rita believes if leaders were more clear about how transformation really works and more intentional about creating what they want, their impact, success, and influence in the world would be unstoppable.

Through her coaching programs, private coaching, and masterminds, Rita shows leaders how to win consistently and create the impact and legacy they desire.

Central to Rita’s work is the understanding that you will never outperform your current programming, no matter how strong your willpower.

When you learn to use Rita’s proprietary Neuroleadership Growth Code, a technology that uses the best of neuroscience and transformational psychology to hit the brain’s buttons for change, YOU become both the solution and the strategy.

Her mission is to end talented, hard-working, and self-aware leaders spending another day stuck in self-doubt or confusion and not contributing their brilliant work and talent the world so desperately needs.

michael quinlan

What Does It Take To Transform with Michael Quinlan

michael quinlan

Listen to the full podcast episode to learn about the science-backed practice that has not only changed my life but also the lives of countless people over the last two decades. This is something you can’t ignore if you want to achieve that great goal you identified for this year and write your new future. I’m incredibly excited to have Michael Quinlan with us for this episode. Michael is a regional vice president of sales at SAP, a transformational leader, a father, and a man I’ve had the pleasure of knowing for several years.

 

Michael is passionate about personal development and has a willingness to consider things from a different vantage point, even if it humbles his ego. After attending the SAP Masters program for leadership in London, he published a paper on transformational leadership called What Does it Take to Transform? Michael is joining us to share his story of personal and professional transformation and what leaders can do to evolve themselves and those they serve. 

“My journey into leadership was something that I really never had intended.” – Michael Quinlan

Michael had always envisioned himself as a salesperson who would make his career out of taking down big deals. After 20 years in his role and accomplishing the goals he wanted to achieve as an individual contributor, he had the itch for something more. When he realized the impact he could make by helping others in his company, he decided to step into a leadership position but quickly hit a wall.

“The training that we received was minimal at best. […] There was never any development around what it takes to lead and motivate and develop a team. So my leadership style, since I really didn’t have one, was just imitating what I had seen from leaders that had been over me in the past.” – Michael Quinlan

It’s common for people who excel as individual contributors to step into a leadership role and struggle because they lack the skill set to motivate and develop others on their team. Often, they rely on hand-me-down leadership approaches without fully understanding their purpose.

Then Michael came across the SAP master’s program on leading sales transformation.

“Transformational leadership is absolutely showing up in front of your team with trust and with vulnerability. In order for somebody to feel like they can transform, you really have to do it yourself first.” – Michael Quinlan

Transformational leadership requires self-evaluation, personal growth and actively engaging with your team to create a supportive environment. When you care for your employees and help them overcome their weaknesses, you build trust and increase productivity and performance.

“The hardest thing to do in coaching is to not give the answer.” – Michael Quinlan

Bosses give the answer; coaching managers ask questions that prompt self-reflection and empower the individual. This approach enables employees to take ownership of their words and actions and fosters personal development. When we give the answers, we reinforce an individual’s insecurity and uncertainty, taking away their power and making them more dependent on us.

There are three obstacles to transformational leadership inside a corporation:

  1. Mislabeling the type of problem
  2. Corporate hierarchies and centralizing decision-making
  3. The perception of risk

“People in middle management positions can have a big impact on the world that we live in.” – Michael Quinlan

Middle managers bridge the gap between resource-rich corporations and individuals who can execute the initiatives that would create positive change. It becomes disconcerting when these corporations have the resources to make these changes happen but aren’t willing to transform.

In a survey of 3,400 people, 70% said that their mental health is as influenced by their boss as by their spouse.

We need to acknowledge the level of influence we have to empower and bring out the best in our employees. By bravely stepping into the role and embracing vulnerability, we enable others to follow suit.

In this episode, we discuss:

  • Michael’s journey into leadership and the challenges he faced
  • The principles of transformational leadership and how they can positively impact teams and organizations
  • The three major obstacles preventing us from the transformative change in the workplace
  • Michael’s advice for transformation as an individual, leader, and team

Resources and related episodes:

Subscribe on Apple Podcasts for more tips, tools, and inspiration to lead the optimal vision of your life, love, and leadership. Remember, a half version of you is not enough. The world needs the fullest version of you at play.

Listen on Apple Podcasts

___

About Rita Hyland

With over 20 years of experience as an executive and leadership coach, Rita helps leaders — emerging and established — excel in corporate and entrepreneurial environments.

Rita believes if leaders were more clear about how transformation really works and more intentional about creating what they want, their impact, success, and influence in the world would be unstoppable.

Through her coaching programs, private coaching, and masterminds, Rita shows leaders how to win consistently and create the impact and legacy they desire.

Central to Rita’s work is the understanding that you will never outperform your current programming, no matter how strong your willpower.

When you learn to use Rita’s proprietary Neuroleadership Growth Code, a technology that uses the best of neuroscience and transformational psychology to hit the brain’s buttons for change, YOU become both the solution and the strategy.

Her mission is to end talented, hard-working, and self-aware leaders spending another day stuck in self-doubt or confusion and not contributing their brilliant work and talent the world so desperately needs.

christina woods

How To Break the Habits That Limit You with Hypnotherapist Christina Woods

christina woods

Listen to the full podcast episode to learn about the science-backed practice that has not only changed my life but also the lives of countless people over the last two decades. This is something you can’t ignore if you want to achieve that great goal you identified for this year and write your new future.

In 2019, I was attacked by two men in a parking lot. After this experience, I began to respond to harmless situations as if they were dangerous. For example, when I would walk out of a door at a department store and someone was standing there, I’d respond as if I was being attacked. 

Because of this, I became fascinated with the subconscious mind. Shortly thereafter, I discovered hypnotherapy, a form of therapy that talks to the subconscious mind in a way the mind listens. After trying hypnosis, I found I was calmer and the old triggers no longer set me off.  And this was not just as it related to the attack but in other areas of life where I felt anxious or guilty for reasons that were not logical. 

I found hypnotherapy to be a remarkable way to create profound behavioral change and began using it with my clients too.  The results they saw were profound. 

That’s why I was excited to have Christina Woods join us for this episode. Christina is a licensed Rapid Transformational Therapist®, clinical hypnotherapist, empowerment coach, and reiki master. She combines her background in corporate leadership with her life experiences in dealing with trauma and abandonment to empower other women to trust their intuition and set themselves free of self-doubt.

As the CEO and Founder of Wise Woods Hypnotherapy and Coaching, Christina has extensive experience working on complex challenges and pulling potential out of others so they can become even more extraordinary.

95% of what we think about ourselves, how we perceive the world, and how we feel comes from our subconscious. 

Hypnotherapy allows us to quiet our conscious minds to tap into our natural subconscious state and get to the root cause of the behavior, pattern, or feeling we’re experiencing. 

“It’s like gardening – you don’t just chop everything off the top, you literally need to pull out the root, or it’s just gonna keep growing.” – Christina Woods

Hypnotherapy is becoming more mainstream as people begin to realize the power of our minds. Everyone from doctors, lawyers, and athletes to stay-at-home mothers are now using hypnotherapy to shift how they view past experiences so that they can rewrite the stories that no longer serve them.

“It’s never too late to have a happy childhood if that wasn’t what you had. You can literally rewrite your story.” – Christina Woods

Our habits and patterns of behavior today are often determined by experiences we remember from the past. Sometimes we’ve interpreted events in a way that causes us to become emotionally stuck. These moments that we attach meaning to often stem from our childhood. 

“To be able to look at that now and say, ‘Oh, they had to pick me up late because they actually had two jobs and were trying to get there on time. Wow, I can see how much they loved me and were trying. They were doing their best now, but at the time, I was the last kid picked up in the dark. It felt like nobody cared about me then.'” – Christina Woods

Trauma is like a tight muscle; hypnotherapy allows you to release that tightness so the blood can get through and start circulating again. It enables you to understand what is blocking you and reframe these memories so your subconscious can release them. When you begin to acknowledge and process one experience, it can have a ripple effect and positively impact other areas of your life.

——

The Epidemic Of Not Feeling ‘Enough’ 

We live in a world of comparison and keeping up with the Joneses. Social media has wired us to never feel good enough, smart enough, skinny enough, and even spiritually enough.

Christina has found that most of her clients feel this way because somewhere along the line, they stopped trusting themselves, stopped listening to their inner voice, and gave away their personal power.

“If I get that raise, if I do this thing, if I look that way, then I’ll be enough. […] When we do that, it’s never enough; it’s a constant chase.” – Christina Woods

When we feel inadequate, we break down and fail to set boundaries, leading to resentment and a cycle of negative emotions. 

Christina’s solution is to not only find the inner voice and believe that you’re already enough but to truly feel and become the person that already has what you desire.

Most of us start backward by saying, “I’m going to do this, then I’ll have this, so then I’ll be happy.” What we really need to do is start at the frequency in line with what we want so that we can naturally decrease the cognitive dissonance between our thoughts and actions. We need to get comfortable with the uncomfortable so we’re not unwittingly self-sabotaging.

“It’s easy to become the over-doer, the hustler, the victim, one of these archetypes, when we’re trying to be enough.” – Christina Woods

This memorized state can become so ingrained in us that we wonder why we can’t change or why we keep returning to the same place, even when our external circumstances change. 

Breaking the habits that limit us from the change we want requires that we work with the subconscious mind in the way the subconscious listens.

Christina’s Practical Tips For Reprogramming 

The Morning Ritual

Christina’s approach extends beyond in-person hypnosis sessions. To start reprogramming the subconscious, she recommends a morning routine incorporating stillness and self-reflection, even for just a few minutes. Journaling and meditation are simple but effective ways to listen to your mind without distraction.

  • Journaling – An easy prompt to start with is ‘I, (your name), feel….’
  • Meditation – If you’re new to meditation, start with a couple of minutes per day. Think of a moment in the last 24 hours when you felt calm or positive, close your eyes, and allow that moment to move through you. This exercise can also be used when you’re feeling triggered.

In this episode, Christina shares:

  • The importance of understanding and reframing traumatic experiences that can block you from moving forward in your life
  • How hypnotherapy helps to tap into your subconscious and uncover the root cause of beliefs, emotions, and behaviors
  • What you can expect in a hypnosis session and ways to start reprogramming your subconscious today

Connect with Christina:

Resources and related episodes:

Subscribe on Apple Podcasts for more tips, tools, and inspiration to lead the optimal vision of your life, love, and leadership. Remember, a half version of you is not enough. The world needs the fullest version of you at play.

Listen on Apple Podcasts

___

About Rita Hyland

With over 20 years of experience as an executive and leadership coach, Rita helps leaders — emerging and established — excel in corporate and entrepreneurial environments.

Rita believes if leaders were more clear about how transformation really works and more intentional about creating what they want, their impact, success, and influence in the world would be unstoppable.

Through her coaching programs, private coaching, and masterminds, Rita shows leaders how to win consistently and create the impact and legacy they desire.

Central to Rita’s work is the understanding that you will never outperform your current programming, no matter how strong your willpower.

When you learn to use Rita’s proprietary Neuroleadership Growth Code, a technology that uses the best of neuroscience and transformational psychology to hit the brain’s buttons for change, YOU become both the solution and the strategy.

Her mission is to end talented, hard-working, and self-aware leaders spending another day stuck in self-doubt or confusion and not contributing their brilliant work and talent the world so desperately needs.

leading and parenting

Leading (and Parenting) In Uncertain Times

leading and parenting

Listen to the full podcast episode to learn about the science-backed practice that has not only changed my life but also the lives of countless people over the last two decades. This is something you can’t ignore if you want to achieve that great goal you identified for this year and write your new future.

Uncertainty is wreaking havoc in our offices and homes. For the last few years, we couldn’t even be sure what would happen 48 hours from now. This tension ultimately destroys performance, connection, and the contributions we’re here to make. It’s important that we become better leaders for these uncertain times so that we become part of the solution rather than unwittingly contributing to it.

Several years ago, I had the opportunity to appear on Oprah, but not for the reason that someone like me would dream of. When my oldest daughter was 10, she was interviewed by a popular conscious parent coach named Dr. Shaefali for a two-part series on relationships between parents and children.

During the taping, my daughter shared that sometimes when she talks to me about feeling the pressure, she doesn’t always need me to go into working mode on how to solve the problem; sometimes, she just needs a hug and the reassurance that it will be okay.

This internationally humbling experience made me realize that while I was trying to be a present and considerate, loving mother, I was too focused on fixing things and putting out fires. Even as a teenager, when she came to me with a struggle, I found myself trying to solve the problem instead of just being there to support her.

It took some time for me to realize that I was busy trying to fix something that she wasn’t asking me to fix. I was likely pushing my own agenda to get things accomplished or attempting to remove her pain because of what I may have interpreted that meant about me as her mother. 

What’s more, I realized that each time she came to talk to me and I was providing ways to fix her struggle, I was actually making her MORE uncertain and insecure.  

What does this have to do with becoming an effective leader who engages and empowers individuals, teams, or cultures to achieve great things together? 

When I talk to top performers, experts, and leaders, they often say the same thing my daughter said: “My manager doesn’t get it. He doesn’t listen. He’s not changing.” Or “She’s got her own way of doing things. She’s not interested.”

The worst part in these moments is not what’s said on the surface; it’s the underlying message that’s often interpreted and delivered when we try to solve their problems or fix things when they don’t ask us to. We may inadvertently send the message that we don’t believe in their abilities enough for them to figure it out on their own or that we are so insecure in ourselves that we need to provide solutions in order to take us out of our discomfort. Neither of these makes another more certain or more secure.

Why is this important?  

Because insecurity masks wisdom.

Insecurity is a result of uncertainty. And insecurity blocks our wisdom, which leads directly to disengagement, disempowerment, and underperformance. 

Insecurity leads to the very things we don’t want. Yet too often we are contributing to increasing uncertainty and insecurity without being aware of it.  In this way, we contribute to the very problem we are seeking to solve.

In a survey of 3,400 people published in January 2023 by human resources software firm UKG, Inc., nearly 70% said bosses influenced their mental health as much as a spouse or partner. This figure does not surprise me but does confirm the importance of your role as a leader — especially in these uncertain times. 

I know it’s not easy being a leader when there continues to be so much happening in our world. Take the swing of the markets, the decreased reliability on banks, shootings, and not to mention the host of things we face on a personal level; then you add the weight of knowing that you, as a leader, have that level of influence over others. Whether right or wrong, it’s real. It doesn’t mean your job is easy, but it does mean it’s important. 

We spend 66% of our adult lives at work. This is why improving our ability to lead during uncertain times is so important. What you do, what you say, and how you treat others matters in ways you probably aren’t aware of. We must be conscious of the messages we send to those we lead and choose to be positively infectious leaders. 

Nine out of the 10 people that you lead are not lacking the skill set or ability to make significant contributions. What gets in their way is not their skill set but their uncertainty and insecurity. We, as leaders, have an opportunity and responsibility to do what we can to help them break through it. 

Inspiring confidence is key to managing people, especially in uncertain and changing times. 

Now more than ever is the time to acknowledge the anxiety those around us may have, as well as to value their work. Not just their outcomes, but their efforts too. 

I’m sharing with you three ways to lead in uncertain times so that you can create an empowered and engaged culture – one individual at a time. 

3 Shifts to Make in Uncertain Times

  1. Have a process to grow your inner game. We have to have a strategy to process life.  We can’t lead beyond ourselves. Being able to process our own stuff and become more self-aware is the #1 advantage. Your business and leadership grow in direct proportion to your growth. 
  2. Know your intention: Ask yourself – “Am I speaking to cultivate the best version of the individual I am leading or my own agenda? Am I leading from my own insecurities or my wisdom?” Understand that when you take care of your people, business takes care of itself. 
  3. Listen before leaning in & show appreciation. Validate the person’s feelings rather than trying to take them out of their struggle immediately. After that, ask better questions to help them access their own wisdom and eventually be able to do it independently. We also need to recognize people’s anxieties and the value that they bring and share that with them. People want to know that you know them, and we all need encouragement these days.

By making these shifts, you can be magnanimous and positively infectious wherever you are serving others.

In this episode, I share:

  • A lesson I learned from my daughter to show how easy it is to unwittingly contribute to the very problems we are seeking to solve
  • Why knowing how to lead in uncertain times is more critical than ever 
  • The three fundamentals that every leader should apply to engage and empower cultures, teams, individuals, and even children in these uncertain times

Resources and related episodes:

Subscribe on Apple Podcasts for more tips, tools, and inspiration to lead the optimal vision of your life, love, and leadership. Remember, a half version of you is not enough. The world needs the fullest version of you at play.

Listen on Apple Podcasts

___

About Rita Hyland

With over 20 years of experience as an executive and leadership coach, Rita helps leaders — emerging and established — excel in corporate and entrepreneurial environments.

Rita believes if leaders were more clear about how transformation really works and more intentional about creating what they want, their impact, success, and influence in the world would be unstoppable.

Through her coaching programs, private coaching, and masterminds, Rita shows leaders how to win consistently and create the impact and legacy they desire.

Central to Rita’s work is the understanding that you will never outperform your current programming, no matter how strong your willpower.

When you learn to use Rita’s proprietary Neuroleadership Growth Code, a technology that uses the best of neuroscience and transformational psychology to hit the brain’s buttons for change, YOU become both the solution and the strategy.

Her mission is to end talented, hard-working, and self-aware leaders spending another day stuck in self-doubt or confusion and not contributing their brilliant work and talent the world so desperately needs.

making-the-pivot

Making the Pivot You’ve Been Contemplating Real This Season

making-the-pivot

Listen to the full podcast episode to learn the science-backed practice that has not only changed my life but also the lives of countless people over the last two decades. This is something you can’t ignore if you want to achieve that great goal you identified for this year and write your new future.

Have you been thinking about making a significant change in your work or your approach to it?  

Maybe your friend calls with a business idea and wants you to join him. You read a Patrick Lencioni book and are inspired to bring a new vision to your workplace? Or you see a need and feel called to fulfill it because — in most moments — you believe you have what it takes to be successful?

If so, you’re being called to one of life’s pivots. It’s natural. The seasons have changed and you’re not the same person you were in the past.

Through the years, I’ve had my own pivots and been a part of hundreds more.  And whether our pivots are forced upon us or we choose them, the reality is pivots can be scary, painful, and downright embarrassing!  

The good news is that there are ways to successfully navigate these transitions with greater ease, grace, and peace of mind. 

Too often in these moments, our first move is to want to dive into all of the things we need to do. But to achieve your goals, you don’t need to focus solely on doing more. 

You don’t need another training or strategy. You don’t need to do more networking, cold-calling or goal-setting; you need to understand what it takes to change your thoughts and beliefs.

In other words, you need to look at who you need to become to create a new ending to the story you’re writing. 

You can’t create anything new if you don’t understand and remove your blocks to magnetize success. This means a successful pivot begins with strengthening your mindset. Here are three of my favorites for your next pivot.

  • Have a process to process your pivot.  

Having a process, system, or person to help process life and all its disruptions and resistance is critical to your pivot. In the process, you’ll likely look at where you’re resisting the success you desire. 

Ask yourself, “Where am I blocking the success I want?” “What story needs to heal that is unsupportive of where I’m headed?

  • Know your ‘why’

It’s important to understand that your ‘why’ changes throughout your life. It’s crucial to regularly connect with your ‘why’ so you can identify areas of misalignment and make the necessary change. We also need to understand why we want to make the change because it will keep us motivated and committed to our goals when things get tough. You’ll know you’ve found your ‘why’ when you feel emotional thinking about it.

Ask yourself, “Where am I not congruent with my ‘why’ today?

  • Write the ending to your story

Imagine being in the future and looking back at your pivot. What story would you want to tell? For example, I got divorced, and then I reconnected to my ‘why’. I became the most amazing parent, changed to my most incredible supportive career, and attracted a loving relationship.

Pivots are an inevitable part of life. By having a process to do the work, knowing your ‘why’, and writing a new ending to your story, you’ll be better equipped to lean into your pivot and magnetize your success – no matter what it is.

In this episode, I share:

  • The importance of having a process to navigate through life’s transitions
  • The importance to acknowledge the situation we’re in, even if it’s painful or scary
  • How to be honest about where we are and what we want 
  • The significance of knowing your ‘why’ and identifying disconnect
  • The benefits of writing a new ending to your story and mentally rehearsing the outcome of your pivot

Resources and related episodes:

 

Subscribe on Apple Podcasts for more tips, tools, and inspiration to lead the optimal vision of your life, love, and leadership. Remember, a half version of you is not enough. The world needs the fullest version of you at play.

Listen on Apple Podcasts

___

About Rita Hyland

With over 20 years of experience as an executive and leadership coach, Rita helps leaders — emerging and established — excel in corporate and entrepreneurial environments.

Rita believes if leaders were more clear about how transformation really works and more intentional about creating what they want, their impact, success, and influence in the world would be unstoppable.

Through her coaching programs, private coaching, and masterminds, Rita shows leaders how to win consistently and create the impact and legacy they desire.

Central to Rita’s work is the understanding that you will never outperform your current programming, no matter how strong your willpower.

When you learn to use Rita’s proprietary Neuroleadership Growth Code, a technology that uses the best of neuroscience and transformational psychology to hit the brain’s buttons for change, YOU become both the solution and the strategy.

Her mission is to end talented, hard-working, and self-aware leaders spending another day stuck in self-doubt or confusion and not contributing their brilliant work and talent the world so desperately needs.

How-to-Eliminate-the-Pressure-so-that-You-can-Enhance-Your-Career-Anytime-You-Want

How To Eliminate the Pressure So That You Can Enhance Your Career Anytime You Want

enhance your career

Listen to the full podcast episode to learn the science-backed practice that not only changed my life but also the lives of countless people over the last two decades. This is something you can’t ignore if you want to achieve that great goal you identified for this year and write your new future.

When I’m asked about careers, it usually falls into one of three categories – how to enhance one’s career, achieve a specific goal, or transition into a new one. 

Regardless of the reason, there are three biases that repeatedly show up in these conversations. These biases are the very things that create the pressure cookers that prevent individuals from making the decisions and taking the actions to make the changes they want, whether that’s more satisfaction, revenue, impact, or a combination of all three.

In order to dial down the pressure you may also be experiencing in your career, you first need to understand these biases and the importance of acknowledging and overcoming them to catapult yourself forward.

The first of the three biases is the LINEAR BIAS. The linear bias is the belief that our life and work should always be moving forward and upward. 

While society tells us that we should always be progressing, life just doesn’t work this way. Sometimes it pauses; sometimes it oscillates; sometimes it moves two steps forward and one step back. 

In the book Life is in the Transitions by Bruce Fellier, he identifies over 116 disruptors, including lay-offs, illness, births, moves, and divorce. He points out that this expectation around life being linear puts a great deal of anxiety on us. That pressure to always be ascending causes us to be in a constant state of self-judgment. This self-made pressure leads to underperformance and undermines our careers.  

If something happens, it’s supposed to happen. You can fight it or not fight it, but it’s still real. 

That judgment and resistance to accepting what’s happening is part of the additional pressure we unwittingly allow into our world. This results in the inability to break through to new levels or enhance our careers at the rate we want. 

When you release the idea that you need to be constantly progressing, you’ll find you can relax, trust yourself, and have your eyes open to the golden opportunities in front of you. 

The second bias is the SCARCITY BIAS. The scarcity bias states that there is not enough of what you need. 

You may feel there isn’t enough opportunity, time, or money to be successful. You may think the industry is too saturated and there’s not enough need in the marketplace for your talent.

You and I both know your talent is needed. Has anyone ever been grateful for the service you offered? I’m betting they have. People need what you have to give. Don’t let this bias that there’s not enough, hold you back from leading your desired career.

The third bias is the HARD WORK BIAS. The hard work bias is that success is a result of hard work.  We know this isn’t true.  If it was true, everyone who worked hard would be successful.

This unconscious idea that achieving your goal needs to be difficult is precisely why so many people’s days are ruled by low-grade stress, and it gets in the way of building your career to the level you want. 

We don’t get what we want in life; we get our habits. 

I was talking to an attorney, James, this week.  As a partner at his firm, he’s responsible for bringing in new business. Three years ago he landed the firm’s largest account. Since then he hasn’t brought in any new business. Because of this, he says his confidence is shattered; he wonders what is wrong with him and why he can’t follow through on his good ideas.

Through our conversation, I saw that he held all three of these biases.  They were affecting how he managed his days and the results of his career.

Biases shape our habits, so it’s important to be aware of them when looking to build a rewarding career. 

Do you insist that you should be farther than you are today? Do you seek opportunities or tell yourself there isn’t enough time, opportunity, or support to succeed at your greatest desires? Do you make things harder than they need to be? 

If any of these apply to you, the best way to have a massive shift in your career is to recognize these biases and understand that when we’re coming from these low-grade emotions, we’re actually resisting the very thing we say that we want. 

Here’s the practice that will allow you to eliminate the pressure and enhance your career anytime you want.

  1. Get honest about your biases. Step outside of yourself and become the observer. How do you resist allowing yourself to expand? Do you spend everything you make? Are you addicted to the adrenaline of being too busy?
  2. Think of a client that you’ve already helped or a time when you succeeded in doing what it is that you want to do more of now. Write it down. Recount the experience and how great it was for the client you served. Then, consider what might have happened if you weren’t there. When life feels like you’re in a pressure cooker, return to this moment to remember your ‘why.’
  3. For one week, bring this same set of feelings to as many as you can. Focus not on what it will do for you or your career.  Instead, focus on what you are able to bring to others.  Then give it away for one week without attachment to the outcome.  Without any meaning other than you are doing your most important work.  That you are moving in your ‘right’ direction.   

We all have moments of pressure and stress. You can turn this around by dropping your old stories and your past and looking at how to give more of yourself. When you do this, your work opportunities will increase, your business connections will improve, you’ll feel better about yourself and your relationships, sleep better, and the stress and pressure that has become a habit over the past few years will dissipate. 

In this episode, I share:

  • The three major biases that are causing resistance and stopping you from up-leveling your career
  • How these biases form our habits and affect how we move through life
  • The practice that will allow you to make a quantum shift and experience a breakthrough in your career 

Resources and related episodes:

Subscribe on Apple Podcasts for more tips, tools, and inspiration to lead the optimal vision of your life, love, and leadership. Remember, a half version of you is not enough. The world needs the fullest version of you at play.

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About Rita Hyland

With over 20 years of experience as an executive and leadership coach, Rita helps leaders — emerging and established — excel in corporate and entrepreneurial environments.

Rita believes if leaders were more clear about how transformation really works and more intentional about creating what they want, their impact, success, and influence in the world would be unstoppable.

Through her coaching programs, private coaching, and masterminds, Rita shows leaders how to win consistently and create the impact and legacy they desire.

Central to Rita’s work is the understanding that you will never outperform your current programming, no matter how strong your willpower.

When you learn to use Rita’s proprietary Neuroleadership Growth Code, a technology that uses the best of neuroscience and transformational psychology to hit the brain’s buttons for change, YOU become both the solution and the strategy.

Her mission is to end talented, hard-working, and self-aware leaders spending another day stuck in self-doubt or confusion and not contributing their brilliant work and talent the world so desperately needs.

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