Tag Archive for: intentions

Leading from a Heart at Peace Playing Full Out with Rita Hyland

Leading From a Heart at Peace

Podcast episode title graphic: Leading From a Heart at Peace Playing Full Out with Rita Hyland

Listen to the full podcast episode to learn what your exceptional solutions to daily problems are missing and what you must do BEFORE your best ideas are ever heard by people at work, at home, and in all areas of your life.

This may be a tough question, but have you ever found yourself wondering why are people not listening to your super strategy? Maybe you’ve offered several stellar solutions at work and are even delivering high performance, but you’re still not being advanced?  Or maybe you’ve told your kids exactly what they need to do to clean up after themselves at home, but nothing’s changing. If you know you can solve a big issue with a great solution, but you’re finding resistance from others, you’re in the right place.

Here’s the thing: it’s likely not that your solutions aren’t great. The problem is actually a common one I see with many top talented individuals when it comes to solving problems at home, at work, and in other areas of their lives.

THE PROBLEM

Too often the problem begins in our approach to solving a problem. We tend to approach problems with a mindset that believes that not only does the problem need to be fixed, but so does the other person. When we approach others as something that needs to be corrected, we’re leading from what is called a “Heart at War.” 

We feel we know better, that we are better, and that we deserve better. We then approach the other person from a place that’s filled with judgment, self-righteousness, and close-mindedness. A Heart at War sees others as “the problem.” Others are the roadblock on the path to the clear solution and are something that needs to be fixed – just like the problem.

This mindset approach immediately blocks our solutions from working. At best, the solution is diminished. At worst, the problem is dismissed.  As a result, we continue the circle of blame, justification, and disdain. 

THE SOLUTION

Instead of a Heart at War, we need to lead from a Heart at Peace. Let me explain what this means.

When leading from a Heart at War, we’re in judgment and we lead with “I’m better” thoughts. 

When leading from a Heart at Peace, we see the other person simply as a person, not as something broken that needs to be fixed. We see them as a person who’s just like us with real concerns, needs, ideas, and solutions. We’re interested in them, we’re curious, and we’re open-minded. 

WHY THIS IS SO IMPORTANT

If we’re leading with a Heart at War, it doesn’t matter how great our solutions to problems are – the solutions will fail every time.

Whether it’s at home or work, peace is only capable when an intelligent solution is connected to a peaceful inner strategy. This concept comes from two of my favorite books by The Arbinger Institute that I highly recommend: 

As a leader, it’s no longer enough to find the right solution and simply “get it done.” It doesn’t matter how good your strategy is, how productive you are, or how top tier talent you are. You can be the most intelligent leader in the world with access to the best consultants, therapists, and solutions money can bring. But, if your approach is always beginning from a Heart at War, your solutions will go nowhere. 

HOW TO LEAD WITH A HEART AT PEACE

The key to getting your solutions across, to being heard at work, to getting your college daughter to clean up after herself (speaking from personal experience here) is to pair your five-star solutions and strategies with inner peace. It’s important that you have peace within yourself before moving to find peace outside with others. Here are some ways to get there.

Always Be Aware

When you find yourself blaming others, justifying, or feeling the need to correct or fix another, these are all signs of a Heart at War. Unless we’re aware of a problem, we can’t fix a problem. What’s also important is becoming aware of the fact that there’s something underlying the problem.

See the Other Person as a Person – Not something that’s broken

Are you seeing the other person as an object or as a person just like yourself who’s wanting to find a proper solution? In every moment, in every interaction, determine how you are seeing the other person. It’s often when we feel justified that another person is the threat to our solution that we judge them, see them as less than ourselves, and believe they need to be corrected. 

To dive deeper into the concept of this second step, I highly recommend reading Leadership and Deception by The Arbinger Society. 

Move Your Vantage Point

Begin to consider the challenges this person (or persons) is having in this situation. What pain are they experiencing in their own world? Be curious about their worries and their concerns. Although we start to pit ourselves against each other, we’re often all on the same team. 

Ask Yourself This Question

Honestly say, “When have I done what I’m judging the other person for?” This is what I instantly go to. This question is an immediate way to shift a Heart at War. You’ll find it quickly humbles the ego and brings in compassion for the other person.

Lastly, Take Action

It’s not easy to really be conscious of and to call ourselves out on our own stuff. It takes a self-aware person with their own inner peace and their genuine interest in lifting other people up to really solve problems. 

 

THIS WEEK’S CHALLENGE

Notice a place where you’re leading with a Heart at War. Where are you judging someone or a group of people? Over this next week, practice approaching that problem with a Heart at Peace instead. Approach the problem with interest, genuinely caring for the other person or persons, and assume their positive intent.

Again I say, it does not matter just that you get it done. If you’re a leader, it matters how you got there. When you show up at your best, you put down your need to be right. You release blaming, indignation, and your need for vindication to replace a Heart at War with a Heart at Peace.

 

Tune into this episode of Playing Full Out to learn how to implement this unique differentiator in problem solving and the anatomy of peace.

 

In this episode I share:

    • The #1 reason why people at work, at home, and in life aren’t listening to your exceptional solutions and the unique solution to getting your ideas heard
    • The story of a Black man and a KKK member who exemplified this exact strategy and shifted from an interaction of potential hatred and war to a peaceful, collaborative friendship
    • Why we so often remain mired in our problems even when we have exceptional solutions
    • A personal story of leading with a Heart at War in my own home and how I used this exact technique to shift the outcome of this recurring problem

Resources and related episodes:

 

Subscribe on Apple Podcasts for more tips, tools, and inspiration to leading the optimal vision of your life, love, and leadership. Remember, a half version of you is not enough. The world needs the fullest version of you at play.

Listen on Apple Podcasts

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About Rita Hyland

With over 20 years of experience as an executive and leadership coach, Rita helps leaders — emerging and established — excel in corporate and entrepreneurial environments.

Rita believes if leaders were more clear about how transformation really works and more intentional about creating what they want, their impact, success, and influence in the world would be unstoppable.

Through her coaching programs, private coaching, and masterminds, Rita shows leaders how to win consistently and create the impact and legacy they desire.

Central to Rita’s work is the understanding that you will never outperform your current programming, no matter how strong your willpower.

When you learn to use Rita’s proprietary Neuroleadership Growth Code, a technology which uses the best of neuroscience and transformational psychology to hit the brain’s buttons for change, YOU become both the solution and the strategy.

Her mission is to end talented, hard-working, and self-aware leaders spending another day stuck in self-doubt or confusion and not contributing their brilliant work and talent the world so desperately needs.

how to boost your patience enrgy progress and do the best work of your career playing full out rita hyland

How To Boost Your Patience, Energy, and Progress So You Do the Best Work Of Your Career

blog graphic displaying podcast title: how to boost your patience energy and progress so you do the best work of your career playing full out with rita hyland

Listen to the full podcast episode to learn how to boost your patience, joy, and purpose-driven work so that you bring your masterpiece to life. By using this strategy, you will truly help a whole lot more people as you do the best work of your career.

Recently I was speaking to a client named Tom. Tom is a goal-oriented, productivity-minded, high-achiever who continuously strives to improve his productivity and efficiency. Yet when it came time for Tom to be promoted, he was passed over.  

When I first met Tom he was frustrated, to say the least. Tom had been successfully leading a team and couldn’t understand what exactly was holding him back. So, he wanted to work with me to figure it out and be able to accomplish and impact even more.

As I listened, I could tell he was a top-talent employee, but something was missing and it wasn’t a lack of stress and frustration. He wasn’t reaching his goal as partner fast enough and was frustrated that people who were, frankly, not as intelligent as he had passed him by.  

I asked Tom some questions to explore what his relationships and interactions with others looked like.  I noticed they seemed more like transactions than interactions.  It was clear that Tom’s attention was focused on accomplishing and achieving  – the faster the better — and then getting the next thing accomplished.  

We all do this at some point.

It’s easy to get caught up in the busyness of our daily work and life. People are expecting things from us, we have responsibilities, we feel like we are in a race against the clock, and the days and weeks just become a blur. Our life’s focus becomes all about getting it done and how efficient we can be in the process. This is particularly the case for left-brain dominant high-performers (like Tom) who pride themselves on productivity and accomplishment. 

What Tom had forgotten was the mission behind what he was doing. He insisted that all he wanted to do was be able to help more people, but his actions reflected something different. 

He began to notice how his loss of patience and his approach to work was negatively impacting his reaching the next level. He had been over-valuing what he accomplished and under-valuing who he was “being” as he did it. 

I presented the opportunity for a much simpler solution. I asked Tom to consider setting a very deliberate new intention for his day-to-day interactions that would take him in a new direction.  

Here is the approach I asked Tom to consider: be on a mission to bring joy and serve one person at a time, one interaction at a time, one day at a time.  

Too often our intentions in this goal-driven society are to “get it done.” Our days become purely transactional until we notice we are exhausted, frustrated, and unfulfilled.  Perhaps the worst part is that the experience is anything but joyful, and the stressed-out state limits the creativity you need to build your masterpiece!

So, again here is the approach that will elevate your patience, your energy, and your productivity: be on a mission to bring joy and serve every single day. 

When you understand your mission and deliberately set an intention to bring joy and serve each person in each moment, you will build your masterpiece and impact a whole lot of people!  You won’t have to race to accomplish it either! As you know, masterpieces take time. When we begin one person at a time, one interaction at a time, that impact will ripple out and you will succeed at your work and life’s greatest mission.

 

THIS WEEK’S CHALLENGE

Set your intention for the next two weeks to truly help others moment to moment in each interaction you are in. Whether that’s checking out at the grocery store, sitting down to write your next email, or interacting with an upset customer or colleague, bring joy and serve. That is the purpose of life and the reason you are here.

 

Tune into this episode of Playing Full Out to reassess the mission you’re truly operating from and set the intention that will change everything and get you closer to your masterpiece with ease and joy. 

 

In this episode I share:

    •  A simple game-changing approach that will boost your patience and energy especially when things don’t seem to be moving fast enough 
    • An easy way to know if your interactions with others are more like transactions and how to change that
    • What many high-performers forget about their work and a brain-based tool to use so that you don’t
    • The #1 thing  those who create great things and impact a whole lot of people always have in the front of their mind 
    • The story of a top-talent client, Tom, who even though he was ‘getting it all done’ and ‘doing it all right,’ still wasn’t making the progress he wanted and how he changed that.  

Resources and related episodes:

 

Subscribe on Apple Podcasts for more tips, tools, and inspiration to leading the optimal vision of your life, love, and leadership. Remember, a half version of you is not enough. The world needs the fullest version of you at play.

Listen on Apple Podcasts

___

About Rita Hyland

With over 20 years of experience as an executive and leadership coach, Rita helps leaders — emerging and established — excel in corporate and entrepreneurial environments.

Rita believes if leaders were more clear about how transformation really works and more intentional about creating what they want, their impact, success, and influence in the world would be unstoppable.

Through her coaching programs, private coaching, and masterminds, Rita shows leaders how to win consistently and create the impact and legacy they desire.

Central to Rita’s work is the understanding that you will never outperform your current programming, no matter how strong your willpower.

When you learn to use Rita’s proprietary Neuroleadership Growth Code, a technology which uses the best of neuroscience and transformational psychology to hit the brain’s buttons for change, YOU become both the solution and the strategy.

Her mission is to end talented, hard-working, and self-aware leaders spending another day stuck in self-doubt or confusion and not contributing their brilliant work and talent the world so desperately needs.

concrete-strategies-for-reducing-judgement-to-improve-your-life

Concrete Strategies For Reducing Judgment To Improve Your Life

You can listen to the full podcast episode here:

Think back to the last time you cast judgment on another. Maybe it was against your spouse, friend, coworker, boss, or even a stranger on the street. Did you then go to someone else and justify that judgment? How did you feel after doing so? At peace? Likely not. 

Despite our assumptions, peace of mind is never the byproduct of judgment. I know because I’ve learned that lesson the hard way in my corporate career. I realized that my judgment against my company’s decisions was keeping me from getting what I wanted. It wasn’t my company’s fault at all, but my own. Oh boy, was that freeing. Once I wiped out my judgment, I immediately became happier in my role and made the advancements that I had been working towards. 

When we judge others, we are killing our connection to them. It leads to feelings of resentment, confusion, and guilt. It is an act that can destroy a relationship in the blink of an eye, and half of the time we don’t even know that we’re doing it. The truth is, being nonjudgmental is tough. It is something that requires self-awareness and practice. Understanding what judgment is REALLY about will help us to transform it and release it. Only then can we really thrive in our relationships and step into the role of the bold fulfilled leaders we’re meant to be. 

My call to you is not to completely eliminate judgment altogether, but to simply notice when it’s happening and reduce the amount of time we sit in it. Do that, and I guarantee your performance will increase and your impact will amplify.

In this episode I share:

  • How to know when you’re in a judgment zone 
  • The REAL reason that we judge others
  • Thoughtful ways to release your judgments before it causes harm
  • The exact steps to take if you are being judgmental 
  • Why we must be aware of our intentions
  • The crucial difference between judgment and discernment

Join the waitlist for the Bold Leader Life School here. You’ll receive first access to details when they are released!

More Resources: 

Subscribe on Apple Podcasts for more tips, tools, and inspiration to leading the optimal vision of your life, love, and leadership. Remember, a half version of you is not enough. The world needs the fullest version of you at play.

Listen on Apple Podcasts

___

About Rita Hyland

With over 20 years of experience as an executive and leadership coach, Rita helps leaders — emerging and established — excel in corporate and entrepreneurial environments.

Rita believes if leaders were more clear about how transformation really works and more intentional about creating what they want, their impact, success, and influence in the world would be unstoppable.

Through her coaching programs, private coaching, and masterminds, Rita shows leaders how to win consistently and create the impact and legacy they desire.

Central to Rita’s work is the understanding that you will never outperform your current programming, no matter how strong your willpower.

When you learn to use Rita’s proprietary Neuroleadership Growth Code, a technology which uses the best of neuroscience and transformational psychology to hit the brain’s buttons for change, YOU become both the solution and the strategy.

Her mission is to end talented, hard-working, and self-aware leaders spending another day stuck in self-doubt or confusion and not contributing their brilliant work and talent the world so desperately needs.

How To Cast An Irresistible Vision For 2021 Like The Pros

You can listen to the full podcast episode here:


I’ll say it one more time for good measure: this time of year brings me so much joy! As we embark on a brand new year, people everywhere are taking a break to reset and imagine what’s to come. It is the perfect time to craft a brand new inspirational vision that will set you up for success in 2021 and beyond. Consider this vision to be your own personal masterpiece.

Many put off getting their vision down on paper because they don’t know what the future will hold, and the uncertainty can be unsettling. If you have resistance to getting your vision down, don’t worry, I’ve got you covered! I’m sharing how to take the time to get your vision solidified. In fact, you can get started in less than one hour. If you complete this process, you will have a detailed picture of your work, your life, and your intentions for the next year.

Join me in preparing for and getting excited about a new beginning. Getting specific about your vision is the first step towards profound growth in your health, family, friendships, finances, and business. When you grow, you can’t help but grow others around you. When you expand, you expand your business & impact.

In this episode, I share:

  • How to create an aspirational growth vision that lights you up
  • Important rules to follow before naming your vision in order to avoid future roadblocks
  • 4 steps to get your vision down on paper and deliberately using it as a daily guidepost
  • Why you must have a vision before determining your goals
  • My two-minute morning ritual that will guide you to think your vision into being.

Join the waitlist for the Bold Leader Life School here. You’ll receive the first access to details when they are released!

Resources: 

Subscribe on Apple Podcasts for more tips, tools, and inspiration to leading the optimal vision of your life, love, and leadership. Remember, a half version of you is not enough. The world needs the fullest version of you at play.

Listen on Apple Podcasts

___

About Rita Hyland

With over 20 years of experience as an executive and leadership coach, Rita helps leaders — emerging and established — excel in corporate and entrepreneurial environments.

Rita believes if leaders were more clear about how transformation really works and more intentional about creating what they want, their impact, success, and influence in the world would be unstoppable.

Through her coaching programs, private coaching, and masterminds, Rita shows leaders how to win consistently and create the impact and legacy they desire.

Central to Rita’s work is the understanding that you will never outperform your current programming, no matter how strong your willpower.

When you learn to use Rita’s proprietary Neuroleadership Growth Code, a technology which uses the best of neuroscience and transformational psychology to hit the brain’s buttons for change, YOU become both the solution and the strategy.

Her mission is to end talented, hard-working, and self-aware leaders spending another day stuck in self-doubt or confusion and not contributing their brilliant work and talent the world so desperately needs.

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