I recently returned from a family trip in Washington DC. Nine of my family members toured the Nation’s Capitol together for four days.

Some might consider the trip aggressive. Others, even crazy. Our group of nine ranged in age from 7 to 73. We toured along with hundreds of thousands who’d come to see the Cherry Blossoms, the White House, and to fulfill their eighth grade field trip this spring break.

The amazing thing was what could have been disastrous was…DELIGHTFUL!

We had fun, were fully engaged, learned and experienced EXACTLY what we wanted.

I reflected on what made it work. It’s something many in life tell me they’re missing…we had a plan.

We never felt unfocused or scattered.

We were never at odds with our priorities for the trip.

We didn’t make things super important that were not.

Why? Because that’s what happens when you have a plan.

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Many of us have plans for vacations and strategic plans for business. We have house plans, financial plans, and key purchasing plans, but few take the time to create a Life Plan.

Instead we tend to move around in a hectic world trying to get to a blurry “there.”

Without a plan we spend our days multi-tasking, reactive, scattered and easily distracted.

In short, without a plan and clear focus we don’t consistently experience living our best self at work or home.

We believe we’re “working hard at it,” but quietly we’re frustrated and confused.

WHY A LIFE PLAN?

A life plan allows you to…

o consistently take action to progress to your goals and aspirations.
o stay focused on your priorities (and know when you’re off).
o gain traction.
o be fully engaged, present, enthusiastic,and confident as you travel because(and this is key) YOU KNOW WHERE YOU WANT TO GO.

A plan allows you to get there with greater ease and more joy because you know your end point. Think…

PLAN –>FOCUS –> CONFIDENCE –> GOAL

WHY SO MANY MAKE THE MISTAKE OF NOT HAVING A PLAN…

o We were never taught how to craft a life plan. Strategic Life Planning 101 was never offered at my school.
o We don’t commit the time or FOCUS to craft a plan.
o Creating a life plan is not easy. Let’s face it. It can be really tough to do this sort of work by yourself with no one to bounce ideas off.
o And finally, the biggest reason I find that we don’t have a plan…we simply don’t know what we want.

You can’t create a plan to an elusive and blurry destination.

Until you know what you want, whether you want A or B or F, you can‘t create a plan. You need a precise address for your GPS. Not a vague idea.

Here’s a five-question framework to answer what you want from your life or work.

Your strategic life plan will answer these questions…
1. What do I want to create?
2. What do I want my life and work to look like in eighteen months?
3. What is the one ambitious goal that excites me to work on daily?
4. Why do I want to create this experience or idea?
5. Who will be positively impacted by me creating my ambition?

So where do you want to end up? We all want to enhance and grow our marriages, work, business, parenting and other important relationships? What does that look like to you?

You must know what to plug into your GPS to get there.

Lean into and imagine that scene where you’re living your best version of you. See it clearly. Get in touch with how you feel when you’re there.

Go further now. Try it on. Change the details, you don’t like.

Don’t make the mistake of racing to create a plan without having answered these questions. Once you answer these questions, you have a framework for your strategic life plan.

We didn’t see everything in Washington DC on this trip. We did, however, see what we wanted. The group of nine is already leaning in and designing our next one.

Be among the 2% of individuals who craft a vision and plan for their fulfilling life.

Begin by answering the five questions above. Get the support you need.

Something funny happens when you get clear and make the decision to advance your life to the next level. Often what was once a case of a “Floundering Life” or “Fine Life” turns to the “Fulfilled & Fabulous Life” you’ve always dreamed about.

I look forward to seeing what you create and being a part of the world where you’re bringing your best work and life to play!

In my next blog I’ll will share how to edit, cut or re-position to focus your life and make space for a life plan that works for you.

~Rita
xo

We all do it at times. We make our choices for what we want based on a current reality, that is, the natural “next level,” OR in response to what is being offered to us.

We manipulate what we REALLY want into what we think we can get instead.

As a result, we skip the #1 step in the fool-proof process to getting anything we want- CHOOSE.

I’ll give you an example. A client is being sought after to fill a new position in the organization. When asked, “What do you want?” he states, “I’m going to see what they offer me and go from there.”

This waiting to choose based on logic or what others decide almost always guarantees you will limit who you become and what you receive!

See all kinds of things happen when you choose what you want based on your deepest desires and your highest vision. First, when you CHOOSE (regardless of what the current reality rationally dictates) you begin to show up in the world in a way that attracts what you want. You commit. Like a thoroughbred with blinders, you pursue your target.

Second, the universe or God or nature, whatever you want to call it, conspires to support you. I see it all of the time in my own life and in the lives of my clients.

Physiologically this is explained by understanding that our brain works to map out a path to the picture it sees in the mind. Brain science confirms this. Deliberately choosing that picture is, therefore, pivotal to creating what you want.

So here’s the point I want to make: don’t wait to choose what you REALLY want based on…

What the company decides
What the neighbors prefer
What seems logical or rationale
What you think you can have
Or what is being offered

YOU CHOOSE. YOU DECIDE.

Bottom line: Whether you’re a corporate leader, an entrepreneur, or full-time mom, your first step in getting what you really want is to choose it. You can create whatever you choose to be!

What the client above really wanted was the opportunity to have a global role within the company, with a limited amount of travel (sounds crazy, I know), with a salary 35% higher than a similar position had previously been paid and to receive options in the company.

He chose and saw this before it was offered, AND he got it all. But then that’s just the way it works.
Complete the following what I REALLY want in my business… my relationships… my finances… my health…my life is…

Some people make the mistake of not thinking they have the time or money to choose what they want. They don’t schedule the time to reflect. If you haven’t done this yet this year, schedule 45 minutes in your calendar this week to CHOOSE.

(Your future self will thank you.)

Wishing you all that you wish for yourself,
~Rita

It’s here! Are you ready?

You may not know this about me. I get uber-excited about resetting, designing and planning the New Year. I schedule at least I one day to do nothing but visualizing and planning.

Why? Because years ago at the advice of a mentor, after a year of struggle and disappointment, I wrote down my dream year and created a plan.

It ranged from starting my own business, to having a meaningful relationship, to tripling my income, to traveling with friends, and being confident and happy about my present and future.

In essence, I imagined things that had never been but wanted to experience.

I wrote it all down. I created a plan. This is where I began.

Skip to the end of the story: everything I imagined and planned became real! Even what I’d previously thought was impossible.

There are a lot of things you might consider essential for creating a 2016 that rings, “this is my year,” but from a getting-results and living bold, rich, and fulfilled point of view, nothing is as important as digging deep so you can reach higher.

There are lots of things that are more urgent…

Not a lot of things are more important.

So to help you create a fulfilling and rich (in all ways) kind of year, here are ten questions to get you started.

1. What were your biggest accomplishments of 2015?

2. What lessons have you learned from those accomplishments?

3. What were your biggest disappointments of 2015?

4. What did you learn from those disappointments?

5. What do you want more of in your relationships, career, and
business in 2016?

6. What would it feel like to accomplish or experience these?

7. What would it cost you if you didn’t?

8. If you knew for a fact that this was “your year” to (fill in the
blank) what bold decision do you need to make right now to support
your goal?

9. If you knew for a fact this was the year you finally (fill in the
blank) what two bold action steps would you commit to take today?

10. What are the two to three projects you want to focus and create a plan for today?

Some of us will drift our way through another year. I’ve done it.

Others will deliberately create their year by making and implementing a plan. I’ve done that too.

What I know for certain is the ride is much more fulfilling and exciting when you do it with a vision and plan…and a team of support.

I’ve decided this year to commit to being the strongest, most conscious, healthiest, deliberate and alive me I’ve ever been. But my decision isn’t enough.

My actionable goals, plan, focus, consistent action, mindset and accountability must follow to manifest this dream.

You can make 2016 an extraordinary year too! But have you decided and are you ready?

My advice is to give yourself whatever support you need to guarantee -not just hope–that this is YOUR year.

If it hasn’t occurred yet, what will you do differently this year?

If you don’t have the answer, then who can you get to help?

The doors to “It’s My Year” are now open.

If you’re looking for the step-by-step training, inspiration and accountability to transform 2016 into your knock-it-out-of-the-park year, watch the video. Then fill out the information to be a part of a the next class of “It’s My Year.”

Let’s get started on doing the impossible! Join me.

Together let’s leap into 2016 bold and strong!

In the meantime…Happy New Year!

~Rita

Lately, I’ve received a lot of questions about how to step up to your next level and get what you really want.

In my work as a Life Coach I receive many questions from people along these lines…how can I get paid to do work I love? How do I figure out what I want? How do I increase my income? How do I improve the relationship I’m in or attract someone who really loves me? How do I expand my community of friends? How do I improve my leadership at work and my parenting at home?

You might THINK these questions are technical ones about how to get what you really want in your business, your career, your relationships, and life, but there’s something more behind these questions actually.

It’s something I see a lot of people struggling with, and it has to do with something I call “doing you.”

I was introduced to this idea of “Do You” when I was thumbing through books in a store. I saw that Russell Simmons (the hip hop mogul) wrote a personal development book. It’s called “Do You!” I still haven’t read it. But I never forgot the title. It lasers the answer to an important concept.

So here’s the answer to those questions: If you want to take your career, parenting and relationships (read life) to the next level that you feel called to, you gotta “DO YOU!”

Why DO YOU? Because think about who people really want to connect with. Who do people really want to be led by, to buy from, to work or be in a relationship with or even be parented by?

The answer is: they want you!

It’s irresistibly attractive to ‘do you.’ It’s irresistibly attractive to be authentically you EVEN with your quirks and mistakes. Those things actually make us more real and lovable.

It’s not how clever we were, or how beautiful our outfit or house were, or if we got it all “right” at the company or parent meeting…it’s not.

If you want to live a life that matters based on how you define it, you absolutely have to put YOU into your career, relationships, your leadership, your parenting and your most important work.

Now here’s the rub: doing you can be scary! Because it involves putting ourselves out there in a really authentic, and often vulnerable way.

Follow me as I go deeper here. We’re usually ONLY WILLING to be authentic and ‘DO OURSELVES’ when we LOVE OURSELVES.

This doesn’t mean love ourselves when we produce a result, finish our project, get hired by the company, get to a certain weight, are affirmed by our colleague, client, or guest. No. It’s liking and loving ourselves REGARDLESS (and in advance)of these things.

It can be COMPLETELY SCARY to DO YOU, BUT you must know…it’s also COMPLETELY WORTH IT!

It is worth moving through our fear to boldly live the life we know we’re called, love with all we have in our relationships, and know we’re living a life that matters to us and others.

You want a way to start doing you now? In the next 24 hours, find two people, (your partner, direct reports, child, or clients) and tell them something real about you. Be more upfront, honest, and more personal than you’ve ever been with them.

Not only will you find ‘doing you’ completely liberating and energizing, you’ll likely be surprised by the ease, connection, and increase to your bottom line that ‘doing you’ elicits.

DO YOU is the answer to the question behind your question. It’s where your results, happiness and fulfillment begin…and end.

If you’re looking for more of a Roadmap to taking you to your next level, hop in and sign up for my 3-Part Video Series on The Life I Want Roadmap. It’ll be delivered straight to your inbox in three parts over the next 9 days!

Let’s finish the year strong and leap into 2016 bold and ready!

~Rita

P.S. In just a few weeks, we’ll open the doors to “It’s My Year” 2016! If you want to make sure you’re among the first to get the details AND an opportunity for a limited time BIG BONUS sign up here. I promise to let you in on all the deets soon.

I recall several years ago my husband leaving for two weeks to China. It’s not unusual travel for him now, but in the beginning of our marriage it wasn’t easy.

The first time he went we had an 18-month old daughter, and I was five months pregnant with our second.  It was winter. We had just moved to a new town.  I wasn’t excited about the move.  I was eager for my husband to return.

That night I cleaned the house and made a feast.  After I put my daughter to sleep, we sat down to talk in front of the fire.

I began telling him all the things I’d done while he was away.  The work on the new house.  How I took care of our daughter who’d been sick, entertained his mother, and kept up with my own business.

I waited for a response.  He said nothing. He simply nodded. Wanting more of a reaction, specifically of gratitude and adulation, I continued with additional details of the laborious past two weeks on my own.

Now I was animated and passionate. I wanted him to know the amazing dazzle that had occurred to pull it all off.  My husband’s response: “Were you able to get the water heater replaced?”

What?!?#@!  That was it?  No “thank you” or “wow, you’re amazing?!”  I was unglued. The evening I’d looked forward to was now ruined.  I went to bed.  I couldn’t speak to him for another 24 hours.  When I did, I came back  with this conversation.

“I realized when you didn’t recognize or thank me for holding everything down in the past two weeks, the story I was telling myself was I’m not doing a good enough job.  That I can’t keep all of this up.  I’m exhausted with the house, the pregnancy, our daughter, and my work.  I’m not doing anything well. I was afraid you don’t think I’m doing enough either.”

He said,  “I don’t know why you would tell yourself that.  You’re doing a great job.  An amazing job in all areas. I’m very grateful!”

Me: “Then why didn’t you say so?  Why didn’t you say something besides ‘did you get the water heater replaced?’ Why didn’t you say, ‘thank you’ or tell me I’m amazing?”

My husband’s response, “I was tired. I’d been up for 36 hours straight after being on an 18 hour flight.  I was so happy to be sitting in our new house with you.   I’d just eaten the best meal I’d had in 14 days. I kept looking at you, because I wanted you to know I cared and that I was listening.”

How many times have you done that?  Ruined a perfectly good time because of a story you were making up in your mind?

This happens all the time with our stories.  In the absence of facts or details, we fill them in ourselves.  Unfortunately, most often we fill them in with negative and fear-based thoughts…especially when we’re stressed.

The reason I’d been able to re-engage in the conversation from a higher place the next day was because I took a long drive and reflected.  It all got down to these two questions.

“What am I afraid of?”

AND

“What’s the truth?”

The answer to “What am I afraid of?” was simple.  I was afraid that I wasn’t capable or enough.

My answer to “What’s the truth?”:  I’m doing the best I can.  It may not be perfect, but it’s enough. I don’t need another to tell me I’m awesome.  That’s my own job. I already know it.”  I decided to listen to the truth.

What stories are you telling yourself specifically that are keeping you from releasing your brilliance today? What stories are keeping you out of peace or ease?

 Here are a few recent stories I’ve heard…

I have to be in the office to keep the organization moving.

My relationship with my spouse is what it is.

I have to take care of everybody in the family.

If I let go of my anxiety I’ll lose my edge.

I’ll have to leave the city to make the next career move I want.

I’m not capable of creating something that great.

This economy isn’t strong enough for me to make a move.

My age is getting in the way of me getting what I want.

I don’t have enough experience for that.

I can’t do that; I have a family to support.

That’s for smarter people with a background in x.

I don’t have enough time.

I don’t have enough money.

I’m not enough.

 

Ask yourself,   “Is the story I’m telling myself true?”  Pay attention and be curious of your story.  

If you feel stuck or uncomfortable with some area of life, there’s a good chance there’s a story you’re telling that isn’t working for you.

The next questions:  What am I afraid of in this situation?  What’s the truth?

When you calm your ego and answer honestly, you’ll be lead back to clarity and your next steps.  Even if the truth isn’t pleasant, you’re working with a real problem not a made up one.

Being honest with our story allows us to play full out instead of at a half-version of ourselves.

Remember you’re unique.  You’re talented.  And the world desperately needs the fullest version of you and your creativity at play! Have a knock-it-out-of-the-park kind of week!

~Rita