challenges Archives

When Unexpected Problems Surface On Our Path To Greatness

As I walked in I could hear the sound of water dripping. I turned my head to see paint bulging from the walls. Plaster in areas was falling from the ceiling.

We had just returned home from our trip to celebrate the holidays with my extended family. As my husband and I walked from floor to floor, we quickly surmised that the Midwest’s “blizzard of 2022” and the cold temperatures it brought with it had caused a pipe to burst. The pipe had leaked for days starting on the top floor.

At that moment, all I could see before me was the extensive damage. Having recently renovated the house, I was well aware of the time and energy it would take to put it back together again. My enthusiasm to prepare for my next trip and the new year quickly waned.

Isn’t that the way? You’re motivated by your proclamations and plans for the year ahead, then the unexpected comes out of nowhere, and it quickly fizzles.

I don’t share this story to garner sympathy or be a victim. Twenty-five years ago that would definitely have been the case.

Today, the wiser, often calmer, and more poised me is sharing what I’ve learned because I want you to have a way to thrive in case unexpected problems have already surfaced on your path to greatness this year.

You know what I’m talking about. We catch the latest Covid variant, our best worker suddenly quits, someone complains about us to our boss, our computer breaks, our business system can’t handle the load we’re putting on it, the stock market drops again or our company announces lay-offs.

It would be good to have a way — an approach or formula — to act on the obstacles that life throws at us, wouldn’t it?

I found a way years ago to steady myself during these times of difficulty, which are a part of daily life.

The secret I learned is to turn every obstacle into an opportunity. To use it as fuel. In other words, to find the ‘backdoor benefit.’

I’m not saying to pretend it isn’t happening or say “this isn’t so bad.” I‘d never ask you to put lipstick on a pig. I am simply suggesting that you ask instead: “How can I make this good?”

Years ago, you would have heard about my chaos immediately. I’d have been consumed, telling anyone who would listen, spending days feeling like a victim, expending energy fighting something I couldn’t change.

Today, I pause, take a deep breath and get clear on the perspective I’m going to choose: “What’s the benefit of this?” I know I will find the opportunity if I keep calm, collected, and patient. I know that it’s only when I employ these three characteristics that I can deploy the other skills I need to overcome the challenge.

My husband might have thought I got to this point too quickly that day as we surveyed the blow. But as I write this on my birthday, another year older and hopefully at least a tad bit wiser — I am ever so aware that my time and energy are both limited but decreasing. I want to focus both of those resources on things I can control rather than suffer failed attempts to control those I cannot.

I’d be lying if I said my office and other rooms being taken down to the studs wasn’t disheartening. It’s in these moments, however, I know that I decide what I will make of each situation. That I control the story — if I even tell one at all.

I know we all will come across obstacles in the year ahead— large and small, fair and unfair. And we will discover again, that what matters most is not what these obstacles are but how we see them, how we react to them, and whether we keep our composure. Our reaction determines how successful we will be in overcoming and succeeding despite —or because of — our obstacles.

The night before my daughter returned to college from Christmas break, we watched the movie Eat, Pray, Love. She’d never seen it, and I hadn’t seen it in years. The main character played by Julia Roberts said something that stuck with me — “Ruin is the road to transformation.”

It confirmed what I’d been thinking: maybe I was being given a chance to make my next creation even better than the last.

This year my wish for you is that you never let a good obstacle stop you. When things go bump or even crash, remember to look for the opportunity for transformation before you. It served me to trust that the universe has my back even when I don’t understand its’ plan.

It’s on us to get back into the driver’s seat when difficult things happen. And they will. Sometimes every day. But when we turn our obstacles into opportunities, we can turn our own adversity into our advantage.

All my best,

~Rita

A Shortcut To Neutralize Worry and Face Down Fear

You can listen to the full podcast episode here:

Years ago, my family and I were on summer vacation at the lake. It was a picturesque summer day. The sky was blue, the lake was calm, and the kids were happy. I took my three children out to go paddle boarding and we glided all the way across the lake with ease. However, when it was time to come back, our circumstances changed. The current was fighting against us and a storm was quickly approaching.

While I remained calm on the outside, I began to panic and felt a rush of fear wash over me. There were three young children who were all crying and extremely scared, and only one of me. How was I going to get everyone out of this safely? Well, the important thing is that I did. What I learned that day is equally as important.

This specific situation is my reminder that I have overcome something that felt absolutely impossible at the time. I can still remember the terror that I experienced that day, and yet I got through it. If I could work my way through that, I can certainly tackle other challenges as well. And so can you.

When painful or challenging things happen to us, it often heightens our anxiety. We begin to think of what-if and worst-case scenarios. That kind of worrying does one thing. It drains you to your core. It is a surefire way to cause you to miss out on life’s wonder and celebrations that you were meant to experience.

Now, think of a time when you were scared or thought it’s over. A time when you wanted to wave your white flag and call it quits. If you’re reading this today, that means you got through it. Use those past courageous moments to propel you forward. Use them to find your strength and endurance to serve others and build the life you desire.

In this episode I share:

A shortcut to taking control of your own thought process and eliminate worry
Powerful tools that will help you gain trust and faith in your future self
How to use your unique courageous story to overcome mental and physical tests
Using the cookie jar concept to remind yourself of what you’re capable of

More Resources:

Can’t Hurt Me: Master Your Mind and Defy the Odds, David Goggins
Tune into the previous episode, How To Bounce Back From A Setback
If you’d like to be notified of when new podcast episodes are released, you can do so here: Playing Full Out
Learn more about the Inside Out Method
Connect with Rita on LinkedIn

Subscribe on Apple Podcasts for more tips, tools, and inspiration to leading the optimal vision of your life, love, and leadership. Remember, a half version of you is not enough. The world needs the fullest version of you at play.

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About Rita Hyland

With over 20 years of experience as an executive and leadership coach, Rita helps leaders — emerging and established — excel in corporate and entrepreneurial environments.

Rita believes if leaders were more clear about how transformation really works and more intentional about creating what they want, their impact, success, and influence in the world would be unstoppable.

Through her coaching programs, private coaching, and masterminds, Rita shows leaders how to win consistently and create the impact and legacy they desire.

Central to Rita’s work is the understanding that you will never outperform your current programming, no matter how strong your willpower.

When you learn to use Rita’s proprietary Neuroleadership Growth Code, a technology which uses the best of neuroscience and transformational psychology to hit the brain’s buttons for change, YOU become both the solution and the strategy.

Her mission is to end talented, hard-working, and self-aware leaders spending another day stuck in self-doubt or confusion and not contributing their brilliant work and talent the world so desperately needs.

How To Bounce Back From A Setback

You can listen to the full podcast episode here:

We have all faced setbacks. It’s part of life. Things seem to be going well and then BAM, something happens that completely throws us off course. We are left wondering how we will ever bounce back. The setback becomes part of us and we are left judging and doubting ourselves. Here’s the thing we need to understand. The setback itself is not the real problem that we face. It’s the meaning that we give to the setback.

When circumstances don’t go as planned, we either take it personally or deny that it’s happening at all. We hold on to the past pain and trauma. Neither of these reactions result in moving forward. So, what is the answer to getting past life’s tough moments and getting on with life? Acknowledge the setback, resist the urge to blame, take responsibility for your part, live from the present moment, accept what is, and refocus on what makes us feel alive. If you are truly committed to playing full out, failures and challenges will happen. That is one of life’s certainties. But you can become unstoppable when you master the art of bouncing back.