Years ago after I had my first child. I desperately needed some time of my own but whenever I had a babysitter I insisted that I had to be working. It was my rule that I had to be efficient with my time which meant no lallygagging.
Getting a manicure while a babysitter was there, for example, was a no-no. Then it occurred to me that I had made up this rule.
To have what I wanted only required me to permit myself. I was floored.
I wondered how many other rules I had made up that were holding me back from what I wanted.
I share this story because, at this time of year, there’s excitement to improve and create in ways that have never been — both at work and home.
I know it can sound funny at the stage of life you’re in to think you may be making up rules that are holding you back or not giving yourself permission to do or have what you want, but it happens all of the time without even knowing it.
It’s not that you’re not allowing it. It’s your brain trying to protect you from an unknown future which is exactly what our aspirations for the new year are.
Maybe you have a rule that…
Projects need to be perfect before they’re released
You have to be in the office for 10 hours a day to succeed
You can’t switch organizations or move states at this stage of your career
You can’t take a vacation abroad until you do X
You can’t show weakness to your team if you want them to respond
You have to talk to your children with strength so they respect you
Or you can’t buy the lake house or kind of car you want because it’ll appear you’re showing off your good fortune
All of these are rules I’ve heard recently that are holding individuals back from what they really would like to experience this year.
Here’s the thing.
Everything is doable but we have to notice where we’ve unwittingly put in place unsupportive rules and understand that we can break them. In fact, we need to break them and give ourselves full permission to have whatever it is we want.
This is where you begin to become an observer of yourself, your thinking, and the made-up rules that may not be working for you. Not only become an observer but a challenger of those rules.
So ask yourself what rules are you making up that if you broke them would allow for exactly what you want.
What one thing if you gave yourself permission would change everything?
The truth is the time is always right to begin. It doesn’t matter what day of the year it is. It only matters that you make today the day you give yourself permission for your ideas, your dreams, and your hopes.
Cheers to your extraordinary year ahead!