Tag Archive for: strategies

Leading from a Heart at Peace Playing Full Out with Rita Hyland

Leading From a Heart at Peace

Podcast episode title graphic: Leading From a Heart at Peace Playing Full Out with Rita Hyland

Listen to the full podcast episode to learn what your exceptional solutions to daily problems are missing and what you must do BEFORE your best ideas are ever heard by people at work, at home, and in all areas of your life.

This may be a tough question, but have you ever found yourself wondering why are people not listening to your super strategy? Maybe you’ve offered several stellar solutions at work and are even delivering high performance, but you’re still not being advanced?  Or maybe you’ve told your kids exactly what they need to do to clean up after themselves at home, but nothing’s changing. If you know you can solve a big issue with a great solution, but you’re finding resistance from others, you’re in the right place.

Here’s the thing: it’s likely not that your solutions aren’t great. The problem is actually a common one I see with many top talented individuals when it comes to solving problems at home, at work, and in other areas of their lives.

THE PROBLEM

Too often the problem begins in our approach to solving a problem. We tend to approach problems with a mindset that believes that not only does the problem need to be fixed, but so does the other person. When we approach others as something that needs to be corrected, we’re leading from what is called a “Heart at War.” 

We feel we know better, that we are better, and that we deserve better. We then approach the other person from a place that’s filled with judgment, self-righteousness, and close-mindedness. A Heart at War sees others as “the problem.” Others are the roadblock on the path to the clear solution and are something that needs to be fixed – just like the problem.

This mindset approach immediately blocks our solutions from working. At best, the solution is diminished. At worst, the problem is dismissed.  As a result, we continue the circle of blame, justification, and disdain. 

THE SOLUTION

Instead of a Heart at War, we need to lead from a Heart at Peace. Let me explain what this means.

When leading from a Heart at War, we’re in judgment and we lead with “I’m better” thoughts. 

When leading from a Heart at Peace, we see the other person simply as a person, not as something broken that needs to be fixed. We see them as a person who’s just like us with real concerns, needs, ideas, and solutions. We’re interested in them, we’re curious, and we’re open-minded. 

WHY THIS IS SO IMPORTANT

If we’re leading with a Heart at War, it doesn’t matter how great our solutions to problems are – the solutions will fail every time.

Whether it’s at home or work, peace is only capable when an intelligent solution is connected to a peaceful inner strategy. This concept comes from two of my favorite books by The Arbinger Institute that I highly recommend: 

As a leader, it’s no longer enough to find the right solution and simply “get it done.” It doesn’t matter how good your strategy is, how productive you are, or how top tier talent you are. You can be the most intelligent leader in the world with access to the best consultants, therapists, and solutions money can bring. But, if your approach is always beginning from a Heart at War, your solutions will go nowhere. 

HOW TO LEAD WITH A HEART AT PEACE

The key to getting your solutions across, to being heard at work, to getting your college daughter to clean up after herself (speaking from personal experience here) is to pair your five-star solutions and strategies with inner peace. It’s important that you have peace within yourself before moving to find peace outside with others. Here are some ways to get there.

Always Be Aware

When you find yourself blaming others, justifying, or feeling the need to correct or fix another, these are all signs of a Heart at War. Unless we’re aware of a problem, we can’t fix a problem. What’s also important is becoming aware of the fact that there’s something underlying the problem.

See the Other Person as a Person – Not something that’s broken

Are you seeing the other person as an object or as a person just like yourself who’s wanting to find a proper solution? In every moment, in every interaction, determine how you are seeing the other person. It’s often when we feel justified that another person is the threat to our solution that we judge them, see them as less than ourselves, and believe they need to be corrected. 

To dive deeper into the concept of this second step, I highly recommend reading Leadership and Deception by The Arbinger Society. 

Move Your Vantage Point

Begin to consider the challenges this person (or persons) is having in this situation. What pain are they experiencing in their own world? Be curious about their worries and their concerns. Although we start to pit ourselves against each other, we’re often all on the same team. 

Ask Yourself This Question

Honestly say, “When have I done what I’m judging the other person for?” This is what I instantly go to. This question is an immediate way to shift a Heart at War. You’ll find it quickly humbles the ego and brings in compassion for the other person.

Lastly, Take Action

It’s not easy to really be conscious of and to call ourselves out on our own stuff. It takes a self-aware person with their own inner peace and their genuine interest in lifting other people up to really solve problems. 

 

THIS WEEK’S CHALLENGE

Notice a place where you’re leading with a Heart at War. Where are you judging someone or a group of people? Over this next week, practice approaching that problem with a Heart at Peace instead. Approach the problem with interest, genuinely caring for the other person or persons, and assume their positive intent.

Again I say, it does not matter just that you get it done. If you’re a leader, it matters how you got there. When you show up at your best, you put down your need to be right. You release blaming, indignation, and your need for vindication to replace a Heart at War with a Heart at Peace.

 

Tune into this episode of Playing Full Out to learn how to implement this unique differentiator in problem solving and the anatomy of peace.

 

In this episode I share:

    • The #1 reason why people at work, at home, and in life aren’t listening to your exceptional solutions and the unique solution to getting your ideas heard
    • The story of a Black man and a KKK member who exemplified this exact strategy and shifted from an interaction of potential hatred and war to a peaceful, collaborative friendship
    • Why we so often remain mired in our problems even when we have exceptional solutions
    • A personal story of leading with a Heart at War in my own home and how I used this exact technique to shift the outcome of this recurring problem

Resources and related episodes:

 

Subscribe on Apple Podcasts for more tips, tools, and inspiration to leading the optimal vision of your life, love, and leadership. Remember, a half version of you is not enough. The world needs the fullest version of you at play.

Listen on Apple Podcasts

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About Rita Hyland

With over 20 years of experience as an executive and leadership coach, Rita helps leaders — emerging and established — excel in corporate and entrepreneurial environments.

Rita believes if leaders were more clear about how transformation really works and more intentional about creating what they want, their impact, success, and influence in the world would be unstoppable.

Through her coaching programs, private coaching, and masterminds, Rita shows leaders how to win consistently and create the impact and legacy they desire.

Central to Rita’s work is the understanding that you will never outperform your current programming, no matter how strong your willpower.

When you learn to use Rita’s proprietary Neuroleadership Growth Code, a technology which uses the best of neuroscience and transformational psychology to hit the brain’s buttons for change, YOU become both the solution and the strategy.

Her mission is to end talented, hard-working, and self-aware leaders spending another day stuck in self-doubt or confusion and not contributing their brilliant work and talent the world so desperately needs.

breakthrough

Five Strategies To Position You For A Breakthrough

breakthrough

Listen to the full podcast episode to hear the 5 strategies to position you for a breakthrough:

As we enter the excitement of a new year, you’re likely flooded with messages about creating another set of goals or resolutions. Personally, I don’t feel like the calendar has to change in order to feel and see a fresh start. Every single day is a new beginning and a chance to start anew. As passionate as I am about being able to push the reset button anytime, this new year, without a doubt, adds a greater feeling of excitement!

While many use the word “goal”, that term has always felt lifeless and one-dimensional to me. Instead, I prefer the word “breakthrough”. It has much more emotion and feeling. A breakthrough occurs when you unlock your limitations and the once-impossible becomes possible. Getting clear on what a breakthrough outcome would look like for you is particularly important at this time.

This year is already proving to be a year of well-earned and well-deserved breakthroughs. So many have been welled up mentally, emotionally, professionally, and personally. We are ready to bust through the internal and external limitations that have kept us playing small and holding back. Some have already let the dam burst. Others are committing and positioning themselves currently.

To begin your breakthrough, you must first identify and make the declaration of the breakthrough you want to experience this year. Maybe the breakthrough that you want is to have a greater balance between work and home, maybe it’s to do less and enjoy more, or maybe it’s a breakthrough to experience a promotion. The great thing about your breakthroughs is that they have a ripple effect that heals and catapults our workplaces, homes, and the world. When you break through your limitations, not only you but your family and those you work with, and those you serve are set in motion to experience their breakthrough too. That’s compelling, right?

I’m going to share specific and practical strategies with you so that you can lean in, let go, trust yourself, and take your next right action. It’s a year of unlimited possibility. It’s your time to unlock and breakthrough anything that’s been holding you back. When you do you will see your transformation occur in every category of your life naturally and automatically.

In this episode I share:

  • An explanation of why you must first identify the breakthrough that you want to experience before taking action
  • A way to condition our nervous system in advance to allow for the breakthrough 
  • Common ways that we tend to block our breakthroughs from occurring
  • 5 simple strategies to be positioned for a breakthrough this year
  • A strategy to move from negative thoughts into joy and inspiration 
  • A reminder of why play is important to productivity

More Resources: 

Subscribe on Apple Podcasts for more tips, tools, and inspiration to leading the optimal vision of your life, love, and leadership. Remember, a half version of you is not enough. The world needs the fullest version of you at play.

Listen on Apple Podcasts

___

About Rita Hyland

With over 20 years of experience as an executive and leadership coach, Rita helps leaders — emerging and established — excel in corporate and entrepreneurial environments.

Rita believes if leaders were more clear about how transformation really works and more intentional about creating what they want, their impact, success, and influence in the world would be unstoppable.

Through her coaching programs, private coaching, and masterminds, Rita shows leaders how to win consistently and create the impact and legacy they desire.

Central to Rita’s work is the understanding that you will never outperform your current programming, no matter how strong your willpower.

When you learn to use Rita’s proprietary Neuroleadership Growth Code, a technology which uses the best of neuroscience and transformational psychology to hit the brain’s buttons for change, YOU become both the solution and the strategy.

Her mission is to end talented, hard-working, and self-aware leaders spending another day stuck in self-doubt or confusion and not contributing their brilliant work and talent the world so desperately needs.

calm

The Daily System To Feeling Calm When Everything Else Is Not

calm

You can listen to the full podcast episode here:

Have you ever had one of those days that just feels so intense? From the second you wake up, feelings of anxiety and stress rush over you. You know what I’m talking about. You’re scattered, far from present, and completely ungrounded. Maybe by now you’ve realized that these pressured pace mornings are more the norm than not. 

I’ve been observing a disturbing trend that has been occurring, even before the pandemic began. It’s the noticeable and detrimental overstimulation of so many. We can’t go more than one hour without checking our email, and find it impossible to be fully present in conversations with our coworkers or even our children. 

The statistics show that this is a proven problem among our society. 83% of United States workers suffer from work related stress. 63% of workers are ready to quit their job because of stress. And the problem isn’t just in our workplaces. Our mental health is affected every single day by constantly being in this state of acceleration. It all comes down to being ungrounded, and it’s an epidemic of its own.

When we’re ungrounded, our minds move to a million different places at any given second. On a scientific level, what we’re feeling is our sympathetic nervous system in fight or flight mode. There are ways to break free of this era of constant motion and it’s more important now than ever.

Incorporating short, easy daily grounding practices has made a world of difference in my mental, physical and performance health, and I know they can do the same for you. A few intentional shifts can stop the buzzing and help you to achieve a better quality of life  and higher levels of performance on-going.

In this episode I share:

  • My perspective on what it means to be grounded and my daily grounding practices
  • Sure signs that you are ungrounded
  • Ways to instantly center yourself so that you can be up to 40% more productive 
  • What happens when we stop thinking that we should be somewhere other than where we are
  • An easy 30-second system that drops dopamine to your nervous system and informs your brain you are stronger than you think. (Can be done every time you use the bathroom).

More Resources: 

Subscribe on Apple Podcasts for more tips, tools, and inspiration to leading the optimal vision of your life, love, and leadership. Remember, a half version of you is not enough. The world needs the fullest version of you at play.

Listen on Apple Podcasts

___

About Rita Hyland

With over 20 years of experience as an executive and leadership coach, Rita helps leaders — emerging and established — excel in corporate and entrepreneurial environments.

Rita believes if leaders were more clear about how transformation really works and more intentional about creating what they want, their impact, success, and influence in the world would be unstoppable.

Through her coaching programs, private coaching, and masterminds, Rita shows leaders how to win consistently and create the impact and legacy they desire.

Central to Rita’s work is the understanding that you will never outperform your current programming, no matter how strong your willpower.

When you learn to use Rita’s proprietary Neuroleadership Growth Code, a technology which uses the best of neuroscience and transformational psychology to hit the brain’s buttons for change, YOU become both the solution and the strategy.

Her mission is to end talented, hard-working, and self-aware leaders spending another day stuck in self-doubt or confusion and not contributing their brilliant work and talent the world so desperately needs.

how-to-bounce-back-from-a-setback

How To Bounce Back From A Setback

how-to-bounce-back-from-a-setback

You can listen to the full podcast episode here:

We have all faced setbacks. It’s part of life. Things seem to be going well and then BAM, something happens that completely throws us off course. We are left wondering how we will ever bounce back. The setback becomes part of us and we are left judging and doubting ourselves. Here’s the thing we need to understand. The setback itself is not the real problem that we face. It’s the meaning that we give to the setback. 

When circumstances don’t go as planned, we either take it personally or deny that it’s happening at all. We hold on to the past pain and trauma. Neither of these reactions result in moving forward. So, what is the answer to getting past life’s tough moments and getting on with life? Acknowledge the setback, resist the urge to blame, take responsibility for your part, live from the present moment, accept what is, and refocus on what makes us feel alive. If you are truly committed to playing full out, failures and challenges will happen. That is one of life’s certainties. But you can become unstoppable when you master the art of bouncing back.

In this episode I share:

  • Five concrete steps to bounce back after you experience a setback
  • A surefire way to make peace no matter how undesirable the situation  
  • A mindset shift to get out of the past and into the present
  • How to overcome the urge to blame others and take responsibility for our actions
  • The crucial need to reframe acceptance and step out of denial 

More Resources: 

Subscribe on Apple Podcasts for more tips, tools, and inspiration to leading the optimal vision of your life, love, and leadership. Remember, a half version of you is not enough. The world needs the fullest version of you at play.

Listen on Apple Podcasts

___

About Rita Hyland

With over 20 years of experience as an executive and leadership coach, Rita helps leaders — emerging and established — excel in corporate and entrepreneurial environments.

Rita believes if leaders were more clear about how transformation really works and more intentional about creating what they want, their impact, success, and influence in the world would be unstoppable.

Through her coaching programs, private coaching, and masterminds, Rita shows leaders how to win consistently and create the impact and legacy they desire.

Central to Rita’s work is the understanding that you will never outperform your current programming, no matter how strong your willpower.

When you learn to use Rita’s proprietary Neuroleadership Growth Code, a technology which uses the best of neuroscience and transformational psychology to hit the brain’s buttons for change, YOU become both the solution and the strategy.

Her mission is to end talented, hard-working, and self-aware leaders spending another day stuck in self-doubt or confusion and not contributing their brilliant work and talent the world so desperately needs.

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