Tag Archive for: high performer

happiness

What We Were Taught About Happiness That Isn’t True

happiness

Listen to the full podcast episode to learn about the science-backed practice that has not only changed my life but also the lives of countless people over the last two decades. This is something you can’t ignore if you want to achieve that great goal you identified for this year and write your new future.

What are you overthinking or trying to control right now that is getting in the way of your happiness today? What would happen if you let go of the overthinking and the control that too often hinders you? Recently, I had the opportunity to spend a week in Jamaica with my family, where I was reminded of valuable lessons from the people I met there.

In this episode, I share the message I received and provide you with an important tool to shift your energy towards living in the present moment and becoming someone who no longer must manipulate the world to feel ok but instead is happy even when things don’t follow the plan. In a world where positivity can be a struggle, let’s explore how you can improve your state of mind without relying on external circumstances.

Getting away with the family to connect

I recently returned from a vacation with my family to Jamaica. I was late planning the trip; I realized that with three kids ending school at different times over the course of an entire month and with very different activities scheduled, it was important that I get our fivesome to step away from our schedules, if only for a few days. 

I had been given the recommendation to go to Jamaica by a client who discussed the pros of a direct flight and the beauty of the island, and I jumped on it. As we approached our descent, I realized how little I knew about the place I’d booked, and reminded the family that we all needed to keep an  “open-mind.”

When we made it to the hotel, I saw that it was going to be ok. Everyone would be fed and have a clean place to sleep. Then I got the news: Jamaica was just beginning its rainy season. I looked at the weather forecast for the week. Yep. Rain was indeed forecasted every day, holy crud! I started to think about how I could navigate this.

Everything is a blessing

Every time we were at an activity, I’d ask the waitress serving breakfast, the men beautifying the landscape, or the staff signing us up for our tubing excursions, “Do you think it’s going to rain? How long will it last?” The response was always calm and in direct opposition to my own lower frequency.

On our second sunny morning when we went to rent the boat for tubing, I asked the same question of a Jamaican man helping us.  He had a grounded presence about him. He gave me his full attention. I asked, “Do you think it’s going to rain?  When it rains here, how long does it typically rain?” Then he looked up as if to check the skies — and slowly in his Jamaican accent said, “I do not know, but everything is a blessing.”

“Everything is a blessing.” He was right. For over two days the skies had been sunny, the weather beautiful, my family enjoying the adventures, and I was missing the moment. 

How often do we resist or try to manipulate things in our life — even the ones over which we have no control?  How much energy do we expend on living in worry about a future that may not even happen? And how much joy do we lose resisting what is. Certainly, if it rained there was nothing I could do about it.  

It took a few days to break my conditioned pace of trying to line up everything as I thought would be best.  I reminded myself that in reality, I have no idea what is best. How many times have I thought something ‘shouldn’t’ have happened, only later to find out it gave me EXACTLY what I’d needed and wanted from the start?

It turns out that the afternoon rains (more like torrential downpours) did occur. They provided a great chance for our whole family to go back to our living quarters and hang out — which was exactly the intention of the trip.

There are things that do not go the way we think is best — everyday. We miss flights. The project is not received well. We’re late to our kid’s baseball game because we didn’t see the time change. Then there are the bigger things like jobs ending, businesses faltering, relationships ending or we grow tired of doing what we’ve been doing.

Jamaican culture reminded me once again of the importance of slowing down and looking for the backdoor gift or alternative opportunity that is presenting itself.  I saw that savoring the present moment is a choice. That what I’d been taught about happiness isn’t true.  It’s not when all of my external circumstances align. 

The constant rush we often find ourselves in leads to unnecessary stress and prevents us from fully experiencing life’s richness. By adjusting our pace and letting go of attempting to control it all and instead trusting it will all be ok, we heal our nervous systems and create space for what truly matters. Life isn’t a race, and there’s no scorekeeper. 

The importance of embracing the moment

Throughout my conversations with the Jamaican people, I noticed their ability to stay present and appreciate life’s blessings, even amid struggles. They were evidence that life is as we choose to see it.  

Our perspective determines how we perceive difficulties. Whether it’s minor inconveniences or significant setbacks, there is always an opportunity for growth and gratitude. When we accept that everything is a blessing, even during tough times, we can tap into a deeper sense of happiness and inner peace.

What are you struggling with that in your mind is not going as you desire it?

I know it can be hard in the midst of going through whatever the struggle is, to feel happy. Let’s be clear, it’s not about lying to yourself or trying to fake yourself out. Instead, it’s about asking “What blessing am I not choosing to see? What opportunity am I missing?” 

So often our ego is running the show and telling us what it thinks is right. It’s inflated with its opinion. When we recognize that we have always been ok, we currently are  ok and that we will always be ok, we raise our state of mind.  

So how do we shift to a higher state of mind…

We can choose to see life as a blessing by embracing the present moment and quieting our noisy minds. 

We can take time for silence each day to allow us to harness our inner wisdom and navigate life with greater clarity.

We can prioritize our well-being and connect with our Higher Self in order to transcend the distractions of the outside world and find joy within.

We can remember that everything is a blessing if we choose to see it as so.

Happiness is not a destination but a state of being found within ourselves

I was reminded once again that happiness isn’t a faraway thing. It’s not complicated and hard to get.  Happiness isn’t only when it’s sunny, but can be had even when it rains. 

In this episode, I share:

  • How every situation, whether it aligns with our desires or not, can be seen as a blessing.
  • Simple habits to help find happiness within ourselves rather than relying on external conditions, rewards, or circumstances by spending time in silence, harnessing the mind, and not succumbing to the noisy world or one’s own noisy mind.
  • A way to see challenges and struggles as opportunities for personal growth by shifting perspectives and being open to new possibilities, and as a result, we can navigate through them and find a better day ahead.

Resources and related episodes:

 

Subscribe on Apple Podcasts for more tips, tools, and inspiration to lead the optimal vision of your life, love, and leadership. Remember, a half version of you is not enough. The world needs the fullest version of you at play.

Listen on Apple Podcasts

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About Rita Hyland

With over 20 years of experience as an executive and leadership coach, Rita helps leaders — emerging and established — excel in corporate and entrepreneurial environments.

Rita believes if leaders were more clear about how transformation really works and more intentional about creating what they want, their impact, success, and influence in the world would be unstoppable.

Through her coaching programs, private coaching, and masterminds, Rita shows leaders how to win consistently and create the impact and legacy they desire.

Central to Rita’s work is the understanding that you will never outperform your current programming, no matter how strong your willpower.

When you learn to use Rita’s proprietary Neuroleadership Growth Code, a technology that uses the best of neuroscience and transformational psychology to hit the brain’s buttons for change, YOU become both the solution and the strategy.

Her mission is to end talented, hard-working, and self-aware leaders spending another day stuck in self-doubt or confusion and not contributing their brilliant work and talent the world so desperately needs.

strong coach

How To Hire a Strong Coach In Your Corner

strong coach

Listen to the full podcast episode to learn about the science-backed practice that has not only changed my life but also the lives of countless people over the last two decades. This is something you can’t ignore if you want to achieve that great goal you identified for this year and write your new future.

 

Do you feel like life is going too fast? Are you tolerating things?  Perhaps you’re going through a transitional phase, or, as a leader, you understand more than ever that it’s lonely at the top.

Imagine how great it would feel to have someone by your side, offering support, and lifting some of that weight off your shoulders. No matter who you are and what stage of your career, business, or life, every one of us deserves to have a strong coach in our corner.

In this episode, I’m sharing what it’s like to receive professional coaching when it’s a good time to hire a coach, and how to identify a strong coach that’s right for you. I’m giving you the gritty and remarkably relevant information you need to know and what those driven to excel are doing differently, so you can achieve your own success. 

Not all coaches are the same.

With varying levels of experience, expertise, methodologies, and styles, the sheer number of options can sometimes feel overwhelming. However, the one common goal shared by all coaches is to help you achieve results more efficiently and with less difficulty than if you were doing things on your own.

When looking for the right coach, knowing what results you want from the process is imperative to determine which type of coach you need.

The Business Coach

A business coach helps you set goals, identify opportunities, and grow your business. Unlike a consultant or boss, a coach holds you accountable and draws out your expertise, experience, and insights. They enable you to see beyond the day-to-day tasks to better understand your business.

The Health Coach

A health coach helps you achieve greater energy and vitality. They assist in developing a strategy for optimal health and hold you accountable. There are various subsets within this category, such as weight coaches and strength coaches, so clarity about your specific goals will make it easier to identify the right health coach for you.

The Personal Life Coach

A life coach is dedicated to helping you overcome both visible and invisible limitations. They assist in increasing self-awareness and eliminating repetitive self-sabotaging patterns or blind spots holding you back. The goal of a personal life coach is to align your life with your priorities, ensuring that all areas of your life are in balance. 

The Leadership Coach

A leadership coach helps you develop the skills to stay motivated, even in challenging times, and positively influence those around you. Personal life coaching and leadership are interconnected because you can’t lead beyond who you are. The extent to which you expand yourself and increase self-awareness directly correlates with your leadership growth, enabling you to support others in reaching higher performance levels.

So, what exactly does a strong coach do?

Coaches are guides to help bring forth your wisdom, your expertise, your existing levels of intelligence, and the resources you already have. They help you achieve higher-level results with less pain and in less time than if you did it alone. Strong coaches engage you in a way that encourages you to show up as a higher version of yourself, to think bigger, and to unleash your potential.

There are five qualities of a strong coach:

  1. They focus on and get real results for their clients.
  2. They support and challenge you in equal measure.
  3. They listen and ask questions that evoke new ideas and expose opportunities you wouldn’t have otherwise.
  4. They have their own coach and continue to grow themselves.
  5. They reflect you accurately, rather than project themselves and their own values onto you. 

The most important criteria for finding the right coach is not who has the most training, certifications or the most followers but who is the best fit for you.

To start your search, reach out to your place of work or ask others if they’ve worked with a coach. When conversing with a coach, ask questions about their methodology or style to determine if it aligns with your goals. Do they meet in the way you want to meet? Do they have one-on-ones or group coaching? Who is their ideal client?

How to know it’s a good time to hire a coach:

  1. You feel stuck. Some category of your life is off, and you can’t progress using the same means as you have in the past.
  2. You’re ready to get to the next level. You’re already successful but want to elevate or expand your abilities.
  3. You’re in a position of leadership. You need new ideas, thoughts, perspectives, and someone to challenge you.
  4. You’re in a transitional period. This can be a divorce, a birth, a death, or a number of things.
  5. You want to change a specific area of your life. This can be a habit or something that is holding you back.
  6. You’re experiencing burnout. The way you live isn’t sustainable, or you’re indecisive and unable to take action.
  7. Fear is getting the better of you. It’s thwarting you and not allowing you to move forward.

Many believe they should be able to do everything on their own. However, this mindset can be a hindrance to personal growth and fulfillment. Putting yourself into a silo limits progress, enjoyment, and overall experience. Our brains often resist change and uncertainty, leading us to believe that things won’t work out. To overcome this, we must ask ourselves, “What if it did work out?” and explore the potential positive outcomes to move past stagnation and allow ourselves to move forward.

Hiring the right coach for you can be one of the most rewarding and life-changing experiences. Let this be the year you come alive and think bigger about yourself and what you have to add to every aspect of your life.

In this episode, I share:

  • What it’s like to receive professional coaching and how to determine which type of coach you need to achieve your goals
  • The five characteristics of a strong coach and the #1 criteria for choosing the best coach for you
  • The significant signs that it’s time to hire a coach and how you can overcome the mental block of needing to do everything on your own

Resources and related episodes:

Subscribe on Apple Podcasts for more tips, tools, and inspiration to lead the optimal vision of your life, love, and leadership. Remember, a half version of you is not enough. The world needs the fullest version of you at play.

Listen on Apple Podcasts

___

About Rita Hyland

With over 20 years of experience as an executive and leadership coach, Rita helps leaders — emerging and established — excel in corporate and entrepreneurial environments.

Rita believes if leaders were more clear about how transformation really works and more intentional about creating what they want, their impact, success, and influence in the world would be unstoppable.

Through her coaching programs, private coaching, and masterminds, Rita shows leaders how to win consistently and create the impact and legacy they desire.

Central to Rita’s work is the understanding that you will never outperform your current programming, no matter how strong your willpower.

When you learn to use Rita’s proprietary Neuroleadership Growth Code, a technology that uses the best of neuroscience and transformational psychology to hit the brain’s buttons for change, YOU become both the solution and the strategy.

Her mission is to end talented, hard-working, and self-aware leaders spending another day stuck in self-doubt or confusion and not contributing their brilliant work and talent the world so desperately needs.

michael quinlan

What Does It Take To Transform with Michael Quinlan

michael quinlan

Listen to the full podcast episode to learn about the science-backed practice that has not only changed my life but also the lives of countless people over the last two decades. This is something you can’t ignore if you want to achieve that great goal you identified for this year and write your new future. I’m incredibly excited to have Michael Quinlan with us for this episode. Michael is a regional vice president of sales at SAP, a transformational leader, a father, and a man I’ve had the pleasure of knowing for several years.

 

Michael is passionate about personal development and has a willingness to consider things from a different vantage point, even if it humbles his ego. After attending the SAP Masters program for leadership in London, he published a paper on transformational leadership called What Does it Take to Transform? Michael is joining us to share his story of personal and professional transformation and what leaders can do to evolve themselves and those they serve. 

“My journey into leadership was something that I really never had intended.” – Michael Quinlan

Michael had always envisioned himself as a salesperson who would make his career out of taking down big deals. After 20 years in his role and accomplishing the goals he wanted to achieve as an individual contributor, he had the itch for something more. When he realized the impact he could make by helping others in his company, he decided to step into a leadership position but quickly hit a wall.

“The training that we received was minimal at best. […] There was never any development around what it takes to lead and motivate and develop a team. So my leadership style, since I really didn’t have one, was just imitating what I had seen from leaders that had been over me in the past.” – Michael Quinlan

It’s common for people who excel as individual contributors to step into a leadership role and struggle because they lack the skill set to motivate and develop others on their team. Often, they rely on hand-me-down leadership approaches without fully understanding their purpose.

Then Michael came across the SAP master’s program on leading sales transformation.

“Transformational leadership is absolutely showing up in front of your team with trust and with vulnerability. In order for somebody to feel like they can transform, you really have to do it yourself first.” – Michael Quinlan

Transformational leadership requires self-evaluation, personal growth and actively engaging with your team to create a supportive environment. When you care for your employees and help them overcome their weaknesses, you build trust and increase productivity and performance.

“The hardest thing to do in coaching is to not give the answer.” – Michael Quinlan

Bosses give the answer; coaching managers ask questions that prompt self-reflection and empower the individual. This approach enables employees to take ownership of their words and actions and fosters personal development. When we give the answers, we reinforce an individual’s insecurity and uncertainty, taking away their power and making them more dependent on us.

There are three obstacles to transformational leadership inside a corporation:

  1. Mislabeling the type of problem
  2. Corporate hierarchies and centralizing decision-making
  3. The perception of risk

“People in middle management positions can have a big impact on the world that we live in.” – Michael Quinlan

Middle managers bridge the gap between resource-rich corporations and individuals who can execute the initiatives that would create positive change. It becomes disconcerting when these corporations have the resources to make these changes happen but aren’t willing to transform.

In a survey of 3,400 people, 70% said that their mental health is as influenced by their boss as by their spouse.

We need to acknowledge the level of influence we have to empower and bring out the best in our employees. By bravely stepping into the role and embracing vulnerability, we enable others to follow suit.

In this episode, we discuss:

  • Michael’s journey into leadership and the challenges he faced
  • The principles of transformational leadership and how they can positively impact teams and organizations
  • The three major obstacles preventing us from the transformative change in the workplace
  • Michael’s advice for transformation as an individual, leader, and team

Resources and related episodes:

Subscribe on Apple Podcasts for more tips, tools, and inspiration to lead the optimal vision of your life, love, and leadership. Remember, a half version of you is not enough. The world needs the fullest version of you at play.

Listen on Apple Podcasts

___

About Rita Hyland

With over 20 years of experience as an executive and leadership coach, Rita helps leaders — emerging and established — excel in corporate and entrepreneurial environments.

Rita believes if leaders were more clear about how transformation really works and more intentional about creating what they want, their impact, success, and influence in the world would be unstoppable.

Through her coaching programs, private coaching, and masterminds, Rita shows leaders how to win consistently and create the impact and legacy they desire.

Central to Rita’s work is the understanding that you will never outperform your current programming, no matter how strong your willpower.

When you learn to use Rita’s proprietary Neuroleadership Growth Code, a technology that uses the best of neuroscience and transformational psychology to hit the brain’s buttons for change, YOU become both the solution and the strategy.

Her mission is to end talented, hard-working, and self-aware leaders spending another day stuck in self-doubt or confusion and not contributing their brilliant work and talent the world so desperately needs.

making-the-pivot

Making the Pivot You’ve Been Contemplating Real This Season

making-the-pivot

Listen to the full podcast episode to learn the science-backed practice that has not only changed my life but also the lives of countless people over the last two decades. This is something you can’t ignore if you want to achieve that great goal you identified for this year and write your new future.

Have you been thinking about making a significant change in your work or your approach to it?  

Maybe your friend calls with a business idea and wants you to join him. You read a Patrick Lencioni book and are inspired to bring a new vision to your workplace? Or you see a need and feel called to fulfill it because — in most moments — you believe you have what it takes to be successful?

If so, you’re being called to one of life’s pivots. It’s natural. The seasons have changed and you’re not the same person you were in the past.

Through the years, I’ve had my own pivots and been a part of hundreds more.  And whether our pivots are forced upon us or we choose them, the reality is pivots can be scary, painful, and downright embarrassing!  

The good news is that there are ways to successfully navigate these transitions with greater ease, grace, and peace of mind. 

Too often in these moments, our first move is to want to dive into all of the things we need to do. But to achieve your goals, you don’t need to focus solely on doing more. 

You don’t need another training or strategy. You don’t need to do more networking, cold-calling or goal-setting; you need to understand what it takes to change your thoughts and beliefs.

In other words, you need to look at who you need to become to create a new ending to the story you’re writing. 

You can’t create anything new if you don’t understand and remove your blocks to magnetize success. This means a successful pivot begins with strengthening your mindset. Here are three of my favorites for your next pivot.

  • Have a process to process your pivot.  

Having a process, system, or person to help process life and all its disruptions and resistance is critical to your pivot. In the process, you’ll likely look at where you’re resisting the success you desire. 

Ask yourself, “Where am I blocking the success I want?” “What story needs to heal that is unsupportive of where I’m headed?

  • Know your ‘why’

It’s important to understand that your ‘why’ changes throughout your life. It’s crucial to regularly connect with your ‘why’ so you can identify areas of misalignment and make the necessary change. We also need to understand why we want to make the change because it will keep us motivated and committed to our goals when things get tough. You’ll know you’ve found your ‘why’ when you feel emotional thinking about it.

Ask yourself, “Where am I not congruent with my ‘why’ today?

  • Write the ending to your story

Imagine being in the future and looking back at your pivot. What story would you want to tell? For example, I got divorced, and then I reconnected to my ‘why’. I became the most amazing parent, changed to my most incredible supportive career, and attracted a loving relationship.

Pivots are an inevitable part of life. By having a process to do the work, knowing your ‘why’, and writing a new ending to your story, you’ll be better equipped to lean into your pivot and magnetize your success – no matter what it is.

In this episode, I share:

  • The importance of having a process to navigate through life’s transitions
  • The importance to acknowledge the situation we’re in, even if it’s painful or scary
  • How to be honest about where we are and what we want 
  • The significance of knowing your ‘why’ and identifying disconnect
  • The benefits of writing a new ending to your story and mentally rehearsing the outcome of your pivot

Resources and related episodes:

 

Subscribe on Apple Podcasts for more tips, tools, and inspiration to lead the optimal vision of your life, love, and leadership. Remember, a half version of you is not enough. The world needs the fullest version of you at play.

Listen on Apple Podcasts

___

About Rita Hyland

With over 20 years of experience as an executive and leadership coach, Rita helps leaders — emerging and established — excel in corporate and entrepreneurial environments.

Rita believes if leaders were more clear about how transformation really works and more intentional about creating what they want, their impact, success, and influence in the world would be unstoppable.

Through her coaching programs, private coaching, and masterminds, Rita shows leaders how to win consistently and create the impact and legacy they desire.

Central to Rita’s work is the understanding that you will never outperform your current programming, no matter how strong your willpower.

When you learn to use Rita’s proprietary Neuroleadership Growth Code, a technology that uses the best of neuroscience and transformational psychology to hit the brain’s buttons for change, YOU become both the solution and the strategy.

Her mission is to end talented, hard-working, and self-aware leaders spending another day stuck in self-doubt or confusion and not contributing their brilliant work and talent the world so desperately needs.

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